Arrived home from work after collecting my daughter from nursery, my wife attending a course and not back to late. Diligently attended to my daughters needs. Fed her, entertained her, bathed her, told her I loved her and gently rested her head on her pillow and off she went to sleep.

I allowed some time to pass to make sure she was fast asleep and loaded my machine ball into my newly created machine. This was to be the first time I would use it. It worked beautifully.

Launched into hyperspace I was faced with the consciousness of a form I cannot now describe. I was asked my intentions and I replied that I was an explorer and that I was unafraid. I was examined, eyeballed perhaps is a better term, but I remained true. I am the warrior archetype and fear does not come easily although this entity was trying to evoke some. This passed and we settled to contemplate each other. Then from afar I heard a cry. A child's cry. My child's cry!

With all my might I forced myself back into my body. Through space and time I arrived back in my armchair. Still looking at the world through my third eye I entered my daughter's room and saw her tempestuous aura. I asked her what was wrong, she replied dodo (her pacifier). It was under her pillow and i gave it to her. Her aura stilled and she instantly went to sleep. Not even a thank you. She didn't realise how far I had come.

You may think me irresponsible but... I don't have an answer. I was being irresponsible. I shall wait for my wife to come home the next time I hear the call.

GoodApollo,

Thank you for sharing that trip report. I gotta admit reading it evoked a variety of feelings within me.

I wonder though, if you might be willing to explain the title of this trip report a bit better/more? I hope it's not what I think it is - in reference to your daughter. I mean she didn't put you through anything right? You put yourself through it, right? Choices, consequences . . . . things you will be discussing with/teaching to your daughter all too soon, not only in voice but in word and actions.

I do not mean to judge - I am not qualified. I just hope the title means something other than that. Again thanks for sharing. Sounded intense. I have had to jerk myself out of hyperspace, break trance and "function" suddenly and it is NOT easy, . . . sounded like you did just fine . . . .

Yea man, please don't do it again this way, your child needs you more than anything and you cannot allow yourself to be far out there while having your daughter unattended.

Pandora, no I do not blame my daughter for being a child, the title was more an attempt at humor.

Infundibulum, you're preaching to the choir, I'm a changed man, I swear! lol. In all seriousness you're totally correct but she rarely wakes up. I made a bad judgement, but as always the spice put me right.

Thanks for the comments.

I don't have any kids but i'm very sympathetic to your experience.

I didn't think you were irresponsible at all, she woke up that's all.

I mean yeah maybe it wasn't the best time to partake but...ah what the hell do I know I'm not a father.

Interesting meeting there.

Your daugther is your flesh and bones,and sensitive like children,and dogs they know how to protect their loved ones in encounters with foul entities.
I have cats around me,and they happen to pull me out of all sorts of unconsciouss malignom.
They know exactly where i am at any given moment,and do the strangest things to get my attention,even in my dreams,ive met them,keeping an eye on me.

May you journey in peace

GoodApollo,

Very brave of you to be so truthful in this post. You really opened yourself up to some scrutiny. I'm sure we all have done things that at the time seemed to be harmless but then that 20/20 hindsight kicks in a we are like, "What was I thinking?"

Good idea to wait next time. Maybe the Being will be waiting to resume the mutual comtemplation....not sure how you forced you way back....

Anyway, safe travels.

SmoovPnCali, not really brave, I have the anonymity of the internet to protect me. I don't think she was in any danger, lets face it a trip lasts 10mins, but I hope that this may serve to remind people to take care and to DMT in a safe environment, under supervision and not when you have to be a responsible adult.

I just seem to be able to do that. If a trip ever gets too intense I just make my way back and open my eyes.

Nice report. I myself am very sensitive to surrounding and am worried that something could go wrong in that 10 minutes under.

Sorry in advance for the harping...
I would think having a child around is always a blessing. But at the same time look at stumbling around in DMT land and knocking things over because you can't orientate yourself to the surroundings, thus endangering yourself and a child.
That's where sitters come in. But then maybe the baby was your sitter! She pulled you back because she needs you!

Peace!

As a father myself (and a stay at home dad) I don't feel you did anything wrong.

I take showers when my kid goes to sleep, with the water running I wouldn't hear if he woke up. If you leave your child in a safe place they may wake up and be upset that you're not at their immediate beck and call but they'll be okay.

I keep chemicals child proofed, have taught my son to respect ovens and other dangerous areas of the home he could get into, and while I keep a watchful eye on him you can't devote 100% of your attention to your child (or at least I can't, if I did I'd go mad.)

A five or ten minute trip into hyperspace really doesn't sound like a big deal to me and the fact that you pulled yourself out of it it to check on her shows the power of a caring parents instincts.

On the other hand, if you'd dropped LSD alone with your daughter I'd be saying something different. The duration here is really what strikes me as not a big deal.

Heck some people are really sound sleepers. I wouldn't call those people irresponsible for dozing off while taking care of a child, I think the same thing applies.

Then again, I've yet to breakthrough and I've considered that the fact that my mind is always at least partially on my child's well being may be part of the reason I haven't yet. And I've never attempted a breakthrough dose while home alone with my kid (though I have taken a couple of small tokes while he was sleeping). So maybe I'm talking out of my butt since I'm comparing threshold DMT doses to a much larger one.

Anyway, it sounds like your conscience is guiding you towards what you feel is right anyway. I just wanted to put my 2 cents in as someone else in similar shoes.

Never. Ever. Evereverever would I do that. You're not irresponsible, you're crazy. Your child, of course, was not in any danger, the one who was in danger was you. I have a 3-year-old son and I've considered tripping while he's in the next room, and exactly the idea of getting stuck in a loop while he needs me, is the worst nightmare. Imagine REALLY thinking you've died (it's not like it hasn't happened), and your child is left alone. Forever. This is a fucked up concept, and I would not put MYSELF through it.

But hey... I've been to festivals, and I've seen people smoking Spice with their children on their laps, so... each to his own.

Autumnsphere - I feel the EXACT same way you do. But my fear I see is trying to get up and knocking something over and starting a fire, or even falling down a flights of stairs! I just dont see why one could be so foolish to risk it. It only takes about one second to screw up your life or some elses. As for the festival with kids on lap, that actually is safer because there are others around to lend help if needed, like a bunch of sitters.

Goodapollo - But please dont think I am being a pest and knocking you down. Please see it as a level of care. Because we all care about one another here, right? Thats the beauty of this place. Exploring another level of reality and having a place to talk about it and a caring friendly culture to help one another. This is the Nexus family!

just a nugde but no judgement.
family first everything else second.
i,m very fortunate that my missus understands me and allows me to partake in certain experiments.often i wait till everyone is asleep before trying anything.
sometimes my missus sits with me,reading a book ,but i know really she is keeping a watchful eye,often followed by a amused wry smile.
but like last week she went out with her friends and the kids where asleep.
i would never dream of taking anything.not until she got home.

you are obviously concerned because you started this thread.
do you really need other peoples opinions to answer your question.

I asked her what was wrong, she replied dodo (her pacifier). It was under her pillow and i gave it to her. Her aura stilled and she instantly went to sleep. Not even a thank you. She didn't realise how far I had come.


question maybe my misread.
but why would you want a thank you from your daughter for you giving her do do.
no she would obviously not realise how far you had come,because in her innocence she is safe and you are her gaurdian.
sorry my bad but cannot comphrend this bit.

the title of the thread
Do you realise what you put me through.
this concerns whome?the spice?the child?

i,m maybe thinking your intentions where totally selfish at that time and wanted to spice,but on reflection you as a warrior realised your mistake and felt guilt.

lessons to be learned.

Electric Kool-Aid, cheers! You're right about the fests. Yeah, no judgement, we've all done stupid things, that's how we learn. Just don't do it again. Past is past, no use of self-blame.

What with the sound of a baby crying having a huge emotional impact I don’t think I could do it within earshot of a baby whether I was responsible for them or not. I can’t imagine what would be going off in my head if I heard such a sound personally.

I see I have struck a cord with many of you here. Some have one view, others another. I did state in the original post that I was being irresponsible. Definitely not something I care to repeat.

However I have a question. Those of you who opine that this is some terrible act I carried out, do you have children?

As for the title of this post, this may have been thought out better. I DO NOT BLAME MY DAUGHTER FOR ANY OF THIS. Perhaps the "you" I was referring to in the title was my own damn stupid self.

The reason I put this post up was to help correct myself. It definitely did the trick. Thanks for all the comments, and I will most certainly take on board what you all have said.

Peace

I took the thread title as a reference more to that lack of appreciation from young children for the things parents do for them.

While I agree with others in this thread that the situation was one of your making, that you turned something simple into something difficult, as a father, I can relate to the general feeling