Last night I got the call. I had been ignoring the call for the past few years, but as of 2019 I have been answering.

I was curious why I would be getting the call. I was not feeling well due to stuffy nose and allergies. Around 10 pm, I began making a brew that consisted of locally foraged Reishi (ganoderma lucidum and ganoderma curtisii), juice of one meyer's lemon, cinnamon, honey, and a home grown mix of herbs: spearmint, cat nip, a flower from my passiflora plant, and four leaves from my caapi.

I finished making the brew around 12:30 am and then "bottom's up." It wasn't as foul as you might think. I actually think that I need to adjust the amount of honey so that it's not so sweet. It was literally bitter-sweet. In the most LITERAL meaning possible.

Fortunately, (and unfortunately) it worked very well (too well). I felt much better within 30 minutes and was fully energized. That would be great, right? Not if it is 1 am and your intention was to go to bed and rest so that the body would heal itself. HA. My body is a funny beast. It likes to play tricks on the mind, so.... what ever.

Wife heads to bed around 1:30 am, and I am sitting there twiddling my fingers and chatting with a friend. Unfortunately, I felt so "good" that I did not feel tired. I was not very happy 'bout that (YES I WAS!). Either way, I decided to make the best of my time and dick around on the internet..... LOL

I had been working on a mescaline extraction earlier in the day; so I had to disconnect my vacuum pump from the vacuum chamber to use it for vacuum filtering. In doing so: I saw that I had my last extraction's yield sitting in it's precipitation beaker in the chamber. I took it out and saw that it was very dry, no smell of solvent, and ready to be vaped. I set it aside and continued with the mescaline extraction.

That was a little side tangent it helps frame the scenario. OK, so back to dicking around on the internet, right. So, every now an then, I would just start thinking about the DMT that I had taken out of the vacuum chamber. It was about 2:45 am and I decided that I was going to go to bed. I was still not tired, but I was going to try to force sleep. But the DMT flashed in my mind, again! So, I thought, "Yah know what, F--- it, I'll vape." Followed by, "What am I thinking? Anything starting with the intent 'F--- it' is not a good idea, I am not going to vape." And then, "You know what? F--- that 'no f-- it' mentality, let's (yeah, sometimes I consider my mind and body two separate 'entites' ) figure out a good intention, set the mood, and then do this. Cause, why not?"

So, I began preparing my typical vape tradition with aromatic enhancement via sage or palo santo, and some subtle meditation while dimming all the lights and turning off electronics that might go "BING!" While I was preparing, I kept wondering why I was getting the call. "Why? I'm sick. I'm stuffy. I'm not in the ideal condition, why do you 'summon' me?"

Naturally, no reply. I still ask - just in the case that, one day, I get a straight-forward answer.... HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA. I know. LOL. Delusional thoughts. So, I decided I would choose why I was getting the call. Love. What did I want to discuss with "it" about love? What was it, about love, that was being filled with my mind? I suppose this warranted further investigation. Of course, I feel love (I think?) if I even know what love is. I think I do, but - it's only because I "think" that I feel. So, if I am not thinking, do I still love?

This seemed like a fine intent. I had 56 mg of DMT that I had stashed from my extraction before last (like in april of 2018???) and I decided that I would vape that rather than the newly harvested batch. After all, the 56 mg was part of the batch that kinda brought me back around to DMT after feeling like I had been betrayed and left stranded in the rain with no umbrella, rain boots, pancho, money, shirt, pants.... nothing. I was naked and empty. Stripped down - that is how I felt. It took a few years to return to myself. I don't know how much of the 56 mg that I loaded into the GVG, if I had to guess, probably ~30 mg? Not too much, but not too little.

The lights were dimmed, the sage had been burning, I was feeling very calm: ok, time for my lil' prayer/mantra thingy. I guess everyone has one, in some sort? Mine is a twist that I put on another person's idea. So, in a sense, my prayer is borrowed, yet proprietary to my own self. I've offered it to others that seem like it may have interest, but I don't think it means anything to anyone other than me. I say it numerous times, in my head, through-out the day, DMT or not. It's almost as if the thought of the words, themselves, are completely entangled in "hyperspace." (There are 4 lines to the prayer. The third line is: "To be strong, we must love." ) Pre-vaping, I will repeat the entire prayer until I "see" (closed eyes) a green circle. IMO, this means "GO!" So, as I was saying the 3rd line of the prayer, the circle appeared. It was time. I finished with the 4th line, and the green circle turned into a green heart.

I opened my eyes and began vaping; it was roughly 3:00 am. The beautiful vapor rushed through the GVG and slid into my lungs like water trickling over smooth stones in a gentle mountain creek. The vapor was coming to an end, and I knew that it was time to put the GVG on the shelf before I would lose functionality of my hands. I laid back down, and closed my eyes just in time.

The typical chrysanthemum type thing began and I just waited. I continued to think about love. I thought about all the things that I love. All the people. All the animals. All the plants. All the fungi. All the insects. All the amphibians, reptiles, and any other thing that I had left out - (yes platypus, even you too! Whatever the hell you are...) I decided that love would be a specific point (I actually chose 6 points in a small cluster) within the chrysanthemum that remained fixed and without change, no matter what. The chrysanthemum is typically always warping and moving as I pass through. This time, I decided that I was going to maintain contact with the body through-out the experience, no matter how much it pulls me away. I found a set of points in the chrysanthemum and I decided that those points would not change, and they are love.

Immediately, this was taken as a challenge. "It" began doing everything that "it" could to keep those 6 points from being in my awareness. Things got weird, folks.... really weird. No matter what, I did not let those 6 points go. It tried SO hard to hide them from me. As if testing.... I stood my position. After an unknown amount of time, I used mental communication and said to "it": "you know that love is something that is not 'seen' right? Do you know what love is?" This seemed antagonizing. I did not mean it to be. I said, "It doesn't matter how long you try to keep me from seeing those 6 points of love, because I know that love is always 'there.' Maybe I don't always 'feel' it, but it's there. Maybe the people that I love don't always 'see' it or 'feel it,' but it's there. You know it is arbitrary, what this whole thing is about, right?"

This seemed to create a total change in the experience. It was as if "it" was somewhat confused at my approach. I wasn't feeling fear. I wasn't feeling discomfort. I wasn't distracted by the outside world (the friggin' rooster started crowing at one point, during the peak of trying to distract me - I am assuming that it was sometime between 3:15 and 3:45 am.) I was completely content, no matter how weird it got. Because, no matter what - I feel love. So, I decided that it was time to let the points go, and we'd move to the next part. Poof, just like that, the 6 points vanished. I repeated, "Don't forget, just because I cannot see 'the 6 points of love' I know it is always there. And, I also want you to know that I love you, too. Even if 'we' have had our disagreements."

The next part of the experience is for my mind only. I returned to the body at 4:30am. An hour an a half had passed since the initial vape. I cannot imagine that 4 caapi leaves and 1 passiflora flower could provide enough harmala alkaloids to potentiate a "vapohuasca" session for an hour and a half. Or, am I wrong here? This was the first time that I have consumed any form of harmala since the spring of 2016. Maybe I forget the potency of caapi leaves?

Anyways. No matter what, I love you all. Even if I seem like an ass, or a dick, or a "know-it-all" or anything that is off-putting. I don't intend to come across as such. For all of you, there is always love. No matter if it is seen or not.


ACY

Hehe, thats real cool Spread that luv man! Idk why roosters and ducks are always making noise at 3am Maybe four caapi leaves can do something after a 3 year harmala abstinence.

a beautiful read - thanks for sharing and baring...

i also felt a little jealous; if you happened to read my last trip report you'll see that i went way over the top into the uncharted seas of near-terror and white-knuckling it. while i would not call it a bad trip at all, it was an arduous journey; i felt like a warrior.

your journey, on the other hand, was more what i was hoping for. 30mg is a more reasonable dose and the gentle aid of the caapi/passiflora sounds just right.

i enjoyed experiencing what you did, even if vicariously....

peace (and of course, love...)

Hey Fran - thanks! Silly birnds, indeed. We have 3 roosters, but two of them can seemingly tune into my hyper-spacial frequency - whether accident or on purpose, it happens. I can usually avoid the rooooz if I vape no later than 2:30 am. Typically they won't start rooing until roughly 7 am. They are pretty chill for the most part. Peanut is very friendly, Begonia is a dick, and Jiji (Jihad) [ we named him that because he had a terrible struggle trying to hatch. When he finally made it out, assisted by my wife, he was covered in blood and we thought he was going to die. He didn't seem to be as functional as the other chicks. But, given time, Jiji made it through.] He doesn't really mind people, but he doesn't want to be picked up (like Peanut), he's kind to the ladies, and he crows like once a week. I love Jiji - my little Jihad! I had a pretty powerful DMT experience where I turned into a rooster. It was such an interesting experience!

Perhaps 4 caapi leaves can! I am wondering if some of the other ingredients played a role? Maybe the ganoderma? I have no idea. I have not actually ever consumed my caapi until yesterday. I've been growing her for.... 4 years? something like that. I spent today making another, stronger brew that I am going to take tomorrow night. Same basic ingredients, except I didn't wanna go pluck another mint sprig (they are just now popping up). SO, instead I grabbed a wad, or 2, or 3..... wads of charuna, and a bunch of caapi leaves...

SO! Tomorrow, maybe during the day, I am going to drink a small portion of it. If it is good, then I will save it and drink a larger portion later on. I do have a lot of chores that I need to do tomorrow, so I'll likely only drink an 1/8th of the brew. Oh, and instead of the meyer's lemon, I used a freshly peeled mandarin. WE'LL SEE!!!! (Going to add honey to taste - last time it was too sweet, but I just dumped some in without considering how much.) I wish I had lemon balm growing. I need to go get some. The dang chickens ate mine. I guess they know the good stuff. They will go after peyotes, too!




Hey ducdevil! Yeah, it seems like you took it for a wild ride. I have had my share of those, too! lol.

Don't feel jealous! You'll have an experience that gives you exactly what you need. DMT is a sneaky teacher. It really all depends on the person, the intent, and experience/practice. Some people get colorful light shows, Some people get neat shapes, some people meet entities, some say they see everything, and others say they see nothing. If you see nothing, that doesn't mean that everything isn't there. If you see everything, then you would have to also see nothing, because nothingness is part of everything.

I am glad that you enjoyed it.
I did, as well. LOL, I guess I enjoyed it enough to spend an hour and a half in/out/over/under there. It was made apparent, again, that love can hurt when it is lost. Emphasizing the finite nature of this reality and the love of material is temporary. Losing love can seem sudden, or slow and lingering division. To love the material, even a person, is going to result in loss at some point, for some one. I will pass one day. SO, even when you can't see me, or hear me... I'll always be there. Because, this is an unconditional love that exists all over the world. It exists in a mother as she stares at a new-born baby. It's seen when the 90 year old couple celebrates their 70th wedding anniversary - and all their family is around. It's the mother dog that nurtures her puppies. It's the male seahorse that holds the eggs until the fry are ready for birthing. The lioness as she stalks prey to feed her cubs. It's the male and female pair of penguins that take turns keeping the egg warm so that the other can feed.

I love my wife more than anything. But, I have to reckon with the notion that either she or I will be without one another - at some point. That's a hard one. Don't even like to think about it. BUT, it is inevitable. Rather than worry about losing her, I'm just going to love her while I can. And rather than worry about losing everyone and everything - I'll love you (all) and everything while I can. Luckily, love does not die. A person that feels love may die, but love is eternal.

Take Care!
ACY

ACY,

would you think syrian rue would have a similar effect while vaping?

I have rue at home and a good amount, would like to try this next time I vape, maybe this weekend I'm thinking.

I'll also now look into buying me a caapi



I also have no forgotten about our convo, I was drawn away from this part of myself for a couple weeks, back now

Welcome home!

I would "think" rue should work. I don't see why it wouldn't? I've never really been one of the experts OR absolutists in terms of "which plant is better."

This was the first time that I'd consumed my own caapi. I'd known it for 4 years and received it as a very small cutting. I'd watched it grow large and lush!... and last year we got an unexpected cold snap. My region is subtropical and our winters are mild. Not this time. We had 3 days of temps below freezing. I scrambled to get as many plants into shelter as possible, but I had too many and not enough space. For 3 days, I watched many things that I love die. And there was nothing I could do about it. The first psychedelic plant I had ever germinated, a +20 ft tall acacia confusa, was completely covered in ice and bent down to the ground.

After the freeze I was devistated and heart broken. I gathered the dead and prepared them for an unintended extraction which I have still yet to do.... they are waiting for their time.

I was in denial. I didn't want to believe that the plants were dead. So, I left the pots out there, uninhabited... untended.... just waiting for - i don't know what I was waiting for - but I'm glad I waited.

It was like an "ice" pheonix! Slowly, one by one, the chacrunas... the caapi... some cacti... and my second oldest acacia all have made an incredible recovery. In one year they have grown the same amount that had to taken them three years. The Acacia is not as large as it was oh, but it is definitely more bushy and robust. The large Acacia did not recover. I waited a very long time, but it wasn't going to come back. I finally harvested it and dug it up. Two 5 gallon buckets worth of bark and phyllodes.... but that means nothing to me. I would have rather kept the plants alive. But I also kept the wood from the trunk of the tree. I've been making art out of it, and it's as if the plant is resurrecting in its own way.

I have made a wooden Acacian dagger. A wooden Acaian mallet. And the last will be a wooden acacian hatchet. The dagger is curved and meant for slicing my negative habits. The mallet can pry from one end, but hammer on the other - it's meant for my own self judgement and criticism. The hatchet.... is the balance. It can cut, hammer, pry... it's the tool that I choose when I go into the woods. Never forget your hatchet!!! I always offer to be the one to chop wood during camping adventures. My buddy nick-named me "Hatchet-Hands-[enter last name here]" - LOL.

Coincidentally, my hatchet is the only tool that I've accidentally used to send myself to the ER of stitches. It's a pretty funny story looking back. It was after my grandfather's funeral. My wife and I'd come home and we decided to do yard work because I wasn't really in the mood to do much else. I had my Hatchet out and I was cutting up some wood for my fire pit. I got the brilliant idea of trying to split wood with the hatchet. My wife looked over and she told me that I should, "be careful, looks like you're about to injure yourself." My mind was elsewhere and her warning was dismissed. Folks, if you're married, or even in a relationship at all - please listen to your partner when they tell you that you're about to do something stupid.

Next swing of the hatchet missed the log and guess where it went. My wife was raking leaves, and she heard me say, "oh shit." She said that she looked over, and I was just looking up at her with a very stunned look on my face. She asked, "what did you do?" I slowly lifted my pant-leg revealing a very crimson sock. I kept going and... this time loudly, "OH SHIT!!!!"
So! We went from doing yard work to rushing to the emergency room. The doc said, "If you had cut any further in either direction, this would be much more complicated than simple stitches. Do you know how lucky you are?" I said, "no." He told me that i would have cut the connective tissue of my leg and muscle.

A lot of luck and a few stitches later and I was good to go. My advice? If you have someone you love, listen to them when they tell you that you're being foolish. Luck is not reliable and it's not always something that will be on our sides. The people that love us will always care about us, even if the message is strangely delivered.



ACY

I'm sorry to hear about your plants, the ones that didn't make it.
I know the patience and struggle that it take to start from nothing and grow your own plants, tke care of them each day, feed and love them and to watch one or more die for any reason before its time is pretty terrible.

I've wanted some house plants for a while, like a ficus tree or something but I think I will try and source some Acacia and caapi clippings if I can, have you any clue where to search for such a thing?
<hope this Q isn't against rules!?>


Would you like to share pictures of these wonderful tools? I would very much like to see them!
I don't have those kinds of talents but I very much appreciate ppl that do and their work.

Gotta watch a soccer game rn, be back soon

Whew! Been a min since I have replied to this thread.

I'm not sad that I lost those plants. They have had their reasons. Now ive begun to understand.


The question about live plants- yes we can talk about live plants, cuttings, and seeds. The acacia confusa seeds can be purchased from many places. I think i got my first seeds from ebay? I dunno - over 5 years ago.

My caapi was from another nexian. He has an instagram page, or something like that. If it's cool with him, i'll shoot you the link in a PM. Due to being a nexian - I don't want to dox him. He has caapi, chacruna, and others. You might find a lot that you like!

Also - check sharetheseeds.me
That is the nexus sister site and all seed trades/gifts are without currency exchange other than shipping fees.

I can share some pics, sure. The hatchet had to be re-forged. I had a rage-fit on Monday morning and had to get some built up crap out. In result, it was smashed. Lol. The odd thing - the wood was barely damaged. Only the glue and finishing nails (used as pegs to hold it together) were the damaged parts. The wood was nearly unscathed. I rebuilt it. This time, better. And I used thick copper wire instead of crappy finishing nails. I added another piece of root wood. I'm still trying to rig my DIY electroplating set-up to copper-plate some geodes I found. I am going to electroplate them and then mount them accordingly. I'll add a before and after. There were also two wands that were "made" - but, I'm not picturing the wands.


Take care!

ACY

Beautiful as always my friend. I always get a little excited when I see a new ACY post Youre a stream of fresh water in a sea filled with "guitar solo jester" post. Peace and Love and Cheers mate.

Thank you, my friend!

If I could only explain the synchronicity of your comment. It brings warmth to my heart!!!

Last night, I gave my first attempt at induced astral projection.

Never purposely induced before. But, I did. I found myself on a desert planet that had one puddle of water. It was only inches deep. I jumped in and was submerged into a world unbeknownst to any land dweller. Underneath the surface was a world of water. There were dolphins everywhere. I began to sink, but didn't care. I was transmitting a signal to instigate a re-memory of the transmission that the mother dolphin had given me. (See pics below).

I was approached my a smiling dolphin and i reached out. It rested its head in my hands and began to translate the communication that was delivered that day.

Lots to consider.

This interest of inducing astral projection was after recently being told of John C. Lilly. It was a little too synchronistic not to investigate.

I'll take some time to process this.


ACY