Would you like to be a full-time buddha?
If yes or no, why?
If you are already one, how the hell you've got this computer you're writing on?

Does a laptop have buddha nature?

No, computers are man running away from his Buddha nature

...

I am a full time Buddha, it's a hard job. I mostly have to pick my toes and cut my finger nails.

But mind you! I have to do it mindfully. It's really quite a drag, breathing all the time, being alive.

I am rich though, I have loads of crowns and jewels, loads of castles and pretty magic pools, golden serpents coming swirling around my neck when I'm cold. It has its ups.

But I had to quite my job ... Ain't easy being the working man when the sacred core of whole life comes revealing itself at each instant. At one point, I just couldn't bare to look at all the Gods running in the street to catch cabs, or wearing costumes, or eating junk food. It really made me feel sad for them, poor little dummies doing things thinking they got it all figured ...

So I did some miracle, I made the blind see and all that stuff. It made 200 view on You Tube.

I didn't care though, I was in sweet eternal bliss.

But so the cops heard about me, somehow, and when they arrested me to test my urine and blood, they saw I was so high their machines couldn't keep up. And it couldn't name the drug either.

So I ended up in jail.

All I could see was Samsara though - I used to date her, sweet girl, taught me a lot of things, to see the world from all posi... angles, see all points of views. And all I could see in jail was that, rulers inflicting upon the ruled the same pattern they are imprisoned with. The inmates where crazy of me though, at first, they thought I was some kind of super junkie that never died, so they tried and dose me with all kind of stuff. Of course, nothing worked, as I was given unlimited will power when I picked up the Full Time Buddha offer (I really though it would be more like Full Metal Alchemist at first). Then they realized it and just ignored me. I think I've been raped there too, same old story: Samsara.

So yeah ... I would not recommend picking up Buddha as a job carrier, I only ended up doing it because I was very uncertain about how I wanted to mess up with my mind and body in a consumerist society, I'm that kid who hesitate before he picks up a toy in the supermarket, and I have to say I only picked it up because I like the color Orange and I thought it would have to do with that Kubrick film somehow ...

I got the snake though, came with the free month trail, and now ... well, NOW

Buddah: yo oldman give me your laptop.
Oldman: how shameful, i have worked hard to get that laptop.. you should do what i did.
Buddah: and i am like you, i have worked hard and because i did work hard i get a laptop. I plant my fields with faith and water them with fighting desires, and the thorns that i pull out are my passion in life.. and the crop i gather is your laptop x.nirvana.
Buddah eats foonds

If you meet the Buddha in the chatroom

...

the real question might be why dumbing down the concept os "buddha" so freaking much?
in fact, i am now reading abhidharmakosha, in translation, i only wish i was that hardcore, to be able to read it in its original form
highly recommended reading to op in relation to his question and, in general, to anyone considering himself dabbling in matters "spiritual". even in trasnlation the ideas are deep and intricate, nothing like the dumbed down western commercial brand of "buddhism", that often, as shown time and again, is even grossly antithetical to the original teachings, especially in its motivational posters form, so popular on fb and elsewhere.

Everyone is a Buddha


I used to be really erudite when it came to Mahayana Buddhism but I was turned off by how long they say it takes to actually become enlightened. If you become a bodhissatva you have to have a bunch of reincarnations in hell in order to rescue all the unenlightened people until everyone becomes enlightened lol.

I also don't think that life is just suffering. It's just really depressing man. I even memorized hundreds of lines in the shurangama mantra a few years ago but I could never get really into meditation. That is the most sacred mantra in all of Great vehicle Buddhism according to some authorities but I could never understand what the frak it meant

If you are really interested in buddhism you might want to look into the pure land traditions. You can recite Guanyin/Avolkitesvera's bodhissatvas name or Amanitabha Buddhas name one time and you automatically get to be reborn in the Pure Land where everyone is super high and blissful all the time and become enlightened super fast there.



I agree that buddhism is not always well represented. It is certainly not nihilism as some would have you believe. It can get pretty dogmatic though.

I think buddhas took a lot of mushrooms

Personally, I'm more into paganism

you should look into the dzogchen tradition of tibetan buddhism. it is about realizing ones enlightened nature and it doesnt take any other lifetime but the one you have.

and the noble truth of 'suffering' does not mean that every aspect of life is characterized by suffering. this is a common misunderstanding that turns a lot of people away from the buddha dharma.
it basically means that while there are joys and pleasures in samsaric life, they are fleeting. this is the nature of impermanence. constantly clinging to the good and constantly averting the bad will lead to suffering.