balloonlast night i decided to fast for no serious reason, i only drank water and a cup of tea, then in the morning i ate 200 mg shrooms and 50 mg harmalas drank more water and 2 cups of tea, my mind calmed and i felt great during the day. my friend came over and we went under the pine trees we smoked a bit of cannabis and made a beautiful fire and then he told me he had the 10x salvia with him, although i was always scared before from it but also wanted to try, i was feeling good about it, i was in a good state and feeling calm and safe. things flowed nicely into this without it occurring on my mind at all which i saw as a good sign.
sitting in front of the fire, i was still a bit hesitant bcz i was afraid of having a negative experience that will take more down, so my friend went first, i took a small toke after he handled me the pipe and didn't hold it long, the smoke was amazing and definitely the smoothest thing i ever smoked, tasted nice and clean, while my friend was tripping i was just feeling weird but nice feelings in my body, and my heart raced with excitement, and i felt more confident and curious about trying it and decided i will, i asked my friend if he thinks it was a good idea and he said yes if i feel good about it.
so i loaded the pipe a small pile and smoked it in one slow long toke and held it as long as i could. i expected a fast comeup and was waiting for it to hit me but it came slowly and kept building up for what felt like 30 seconds and suddenly the whole universe felt different, and very close, like my consciousness was able to reach to the boundaries of the universe, i felt the whole universe present around me like there's nothing else while i was only seeing the original scene in front of me, time slowed down and the sky started moving as if the whole universe was a drawing on the internal surface of a balloon, you at the center and someone is gently squeezing and deforming the balloon, i was so happy it felt so great and so clean and psychedelic, no paranoia and no bad thoughts, just my whole existence rippling and i'm deformed by the tides while anchored by a huge mass which is my whole body, i could only turn my head left or right, i was flowing in and out of this state while feeling good and clear in my mind, my body felt good while it was being squashed.
for the first time in a long period i wasn't begging for the trip to end, i even wished i could go deeper and lose my self in it more. my first words where "aaaaa maaaa zingggggg" "i have a confession, i loved it!", it lasted 5-10 minutes and the aftergolw was euphoric and beautiful.
while still feeling great we walked around in the dark and talked about the trip, it was one of the most positive trips and something i really needed, a psychedelic journey free from anxiety and fear, i think this was just a light trip, i'm not sure about the dosage, but i could feel there's so much more still when the universe condenses into a black hole and bangs. i'm glad i had a tight hug and a good introduction to the salvia divinorum circus. i expect higher doses to be much more intense than this.
feeling very grateful for the existence of this medicine.
peace.
sticker..one month? later.. yesterday at night i took 2.22 grams of syrian rue followed by 2.22 grams cubes hot chocolate(didn't taste good), had a good night, was less intense than i expected but i had a good time, one hour of yawning and uncontrollable tears, felt cleansing, then dancing and swimming in my mind between thoughts and emotions.. today my friend came again, we went back, the weather was nice and sun was starting to go down, we went again to the same place, we sat under olive trees and he only had 1 dose left and he offered it to me..
the same amazing smoke, i took it all in one toke and held it as long as i could, it started coming on faster than last time, the sun was down and quran started playing in the mosques inviting people for prayer, cheerful voices of kids were coming from the distance in the back, the whole setting/scene felt amazing and like it fit so naturally and perfectly(life being life), i exhaled and closed my eyes, it was black but something was moving there an invisible line spreading across the whole space and moving toward me, like a mechanical wave, it entered my body and it was like a force trying to pull me from the ground or pulling my body from itself but gravity is so strong and there's a competition between these 2 forces, i opened my eyes again and looked around everything felt so good and clear and very psychedelic(in the mind), and then it happened the whole existence was in 2D, a sticker(existence) being slowly removed from a paper and that line is the line that forms on the border between the sticker and the paper when you pull it off and it moves along the whole sticker until it's removed, or like a page in a book slowly being flipped and separating from the next page, the funny things is that this(the sticker) was not just an analogy of what was going on it felt so real that it's really happening, like a kid god who bought this universe sticker and is taking it off to stick it on his book.
at the same time i was still here, i was here and there like there was a parallel universe where the salvia trip is happening and this universe where i'm just sitting peacefully enjoying the surrounding, and i was in both simultaneously. it was happening very slowly the line never crossed all the way through me, although i wanted it to happen so bad i wanted to be ripped it felt so good, my first words were "ahhh turn the page", and i started blabbering to my friend about what happened... i so much love it, haha, very unique pure and psychedelic, a feeling i long to. i love how confident about everything i feel during and after it.
again these are just small doses.
so that was my brief unexpected encounter with salvia divinorum, this time i can say it found me
until we meet again <3
"Is this the end of our adventure? Nothing has an end. We came in search of the secret of immortality, to be like gods, and here we are... mortals, more human than ever. If we have not obtained immortality, at least we have obtained reality. We began in a fairytale and we came to life! But is this life reality? We are images, dreams, photographs. We must not stay here! Prisoners! We shall break the illusion. This is Maya. Goodbye to the holy mountain. Real life awaits us." ~ Alejandro Jodorowsky