A poem based on a true story that didn't come to the expected conclusion. I had agreed to help a lesbian couple have a child. I was the donor. It was during a period of stacking synchronicity and ascending bliss. I was using harmalas and dmt daily at the time. So, I knew that I was going to be asked, before I was asked. I talked to both my wife and child about their feelings on the matter in the days before I asked. these women were not social friends, but clients. I had been given no indication of the impending request for help. As a matter of fact, when the potential mother asked me, she included the sentence: "Oh, my god. I didn't even know I was going to ask you until I asked you. What will your wife think?!?!" I told her that we had already discussed it as a family and that everyone was on board.
Nothing was surprising me. Incredible synchronicity and strange psychic phenomena were so common in those weeks that they became an annoyance, more than anything. I ended up so deep into bliss that I was in horrible pain. Despite this, I had to be threatened by entities repeatedly with becoming a bonafide shaman before I put the GVG away for a year
Communication problems presented themselves with the inseminated, potential mother. She stopped communicating with me, during a time we had agreed to use to get to know each other. She told me that it hadn't worked. I told her that I knew it wasn't true. I knew. I was having hyperspace visions. I thought I was going crazy. I was also sleep deprived.
Eventually she admitted that she had indeed become pregnant, but that it didn't stick. The date of her first positive pregnancy test was on March 29, 2016. This poem was written on the day before.

Ultimately it is a good thing the pregnancy didn't stick. She changed her mind about being a mother. Glad she did that before having a child. I got to learn a lot about myself and my family. I have an amazing wife and child. Not many people would immediately be cool with something like this. I got to have incredible experiences. Among other things, I allowed myself to "fall in love" with a woman, believing that a child should be conceived in a state of love, in optimal circumstances. I learned that I can be in a state of love with a relative stranger and require nothing from them. I also got this poem out of the experience.

On some level, I believe that the being described in this poem is still going to be born, somewhere, to someone. Or maybe she has already been born. When I asked the woman I donated my DNA to what the name should be, she said the name I had already intuited, as had my sister in a text to my wife. A strange and wonderful mystery.


MAX Q
March 28, 2016

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It’s difficult.
Being shaken by the resonance that is building,
wave after wave, as the world anticipates your arrival.

Like bouncing, coiled, dark springs. Long tresses that shine with potent indigo light,
shimmer and sway, as you shake your head in astonished laughter,
at the doubt you see in some, while others, KNOW.
Your easy smile is like a delicious blade that carves smiley faces, X’s and O’s,
hearts and flowers, directly into my soul.

I can feel your footsteps as you get closer,
and the Earth shakes, to the mantle, to the core,
but in the softest, most gentle way.

You are ancient, and you are wise.
Sparks fly from your finger tips.
These are the mere leakage of idling, potential energy.
Nothing at all compared to the shock wave that you will create
when you first move a finger on this Earth.

The sky will turn dark and then light again, dark and then light,
again and again.
faster and faster,
oscillating until there is no difference
between the artificial night and day you are creating.

Then, the people who opened the portal for you, will be bathed in your glory.
Then the world.
Then... we will see what comes next.