the new moon was upon us, it had been two weeks since our last ceremony with S and J
The four of us were at J and my house in the sacred valley, outside cusco peru.
45 minutes before the alignment (345 pm drink, alignment at 430pm) we partook of san pedro, i a cup and a half (10oz), J and Y a half cup each ( 4 oz ).
the day was spent fasting prior, and facilitating the experience of another friend S who had drank 2 full cups (14 oz )and was coming back together from his dimensions of visions around the time of our imbibement, but could not yet vocalize what he had touched.
the plant we drank was a known potent clone, from huaraz peru. i had drank medicine i made from these plants atleast a hundred times, its a familiar ally.
around the 30 minute mark Y purged, i watched from my hammock, a dedicated effort to do otherwise was witnessed just moments before. hand across the mouth running toward the lou, tea squirting out between her fingers as if in slow motion, the rest of the dark liquid projected to the earth, and was received gratefully.
i fetched her a towel and offered a look of gnostic compassion to allay the egos self judgment within her. she retired to a supine position somewhere amongst the avocado trees, perhaps with one of the cats.
Next up was J, i could hear the struggle with her own digestion for what seemed a half an hour before i came across a speechless J standing before her own purge with Y and J looking in other directions, almost back to back adjacent to S who seemed to have witnessed the ordeal and my discovery of it.
S and i connected gazes and we silently acknowledged what occurred the moment before. i retreated back without a sound into the house to give them space.
my own experience began with a sublime derailing of sanity sometime shortly thereafter
i was in the living room, then i was not. then i was nowhere, only enough of a second before being back in the living room with the S and J, however they were silhouettes with spiraling pastel cells within, maybe 20 to a body. it was amazing, the whole room was composed of these swirly blocks of color and i felt as if i had never been there before. it dawned on me then that i didn’t know who they were, or where i was, or who i was. I began to laugh hysterically in this ignorance
short term memory prompted the recollection of ceremony this day and the previous experiences that would suggest my current psyche is borderline splintering and could give way to breaking through if i did not break my fast
i blurted out, i need to put sugar in my brain, to a response of “what” i continued “i need to eat if you want to be able to talk to me” the message got through, i was losing it and needing help. feed me please
this being a ceremony for 3 others was not one i felt i could dissolve into as it was my obligation as server of this lysed tea to ensure the safety of the other participants. as such i was inspired to ground and reconnect with the dimension of calories my body had been without for around 24 hours.
i had planned to make soup during the night for everyone, but at this juncture all i was capable of was opening my mouth and asking to be fed like a baby bird. luckily J had purged and was capable of delivering a vegan chocolate and fruit cup, which i apparently ate slow enough to inspire some lessons on time for J. it didn’t really stop the effects though
i heard a knock at the door, so i went to it
i opened the door, standing there alone on the edge of this moonless starry night
deciding to close it and let whatever it was pass. i began to return to the group just as the knock returned. now the rest of the group heard it too and they inquired as to what was going on, i explained the knocks and felt the call to the cool night. excusing myself i left to be alone w a feeling that something was coming
outside the stars were dazzling, making patterns in the sky. the flower of life dominated my vision and it seemed as if all the stars came a light year closer every time i looked up, i could see the trails of them coming to greet my gaze. i felt something like myself but not standing there, i felt dread locks from my skull down my back, as i looked through a honeycomb (but circular) of stars, i felt antiquated beyond measure, bones of different shapes held me and i knew another life as readily as this one. i looked up in the into the cosmos through my modified honeycomb vision, milky way swirly brightly. I felt this moment come and as i gaze into a star it expanded and warped just before a quick jump in a direction as it shrunk and became cuboid before flashing a color and disappearing. as if marked by this relevance the howl of the canines filled the valley as a sonic wave of song. my own being moved by this frequency, i remembered the other transformations i had undergone, canine a familiar form in this setting. alternate consciousness beheld me and i prayed for a sign stretching my arms wide and leaning back to embrace the sky, another shooting star streaked the center sky with a tail inspiring whispers of prayers from J and Y, S didn’t see it and just mimicked the mystical sound playfully.
having got what i went outside for, it was time to return to the mission at hand, attempt to ground through food.
i returned for the half made soup and again J assisted in the seemingly eternal time it took to warm the overly garliced and uncooked stew, light filled the dark kitchen and i asked her if she saw it, in that moment she acknowledged and we wondered in concert at this phenomenon. it was as if a fog of light flowed around us, briefly illuminating different areas of the sleeping kitchen. J was very curious about this, a new thing for her entirely. It was another of the times for me, and my focus was still soup
i felt like reality got wrung out in this moment in a way that made me synthesize lemon but mintier, as if the whole dimension of space above me was an inverted mayan pyramid (with the square steps making its silhouetted cuboid edge) this structure was mirrored by another equally sized and patterned *yellow and green* pyramid below. the top twisted one way and each set of stairs was a few degrees behind the previous levels twist, creating this warping machine. the bottom rotated in the opposite direction and at the point at which they connected was my mind, and i felt this colossal shifting through every part of my being. some intensely powerful lemon twist. i began to laugh (just as i did when i realized i didn’t know who i was earlier) my teeth parting in my mirth between slow motion gasps and chortles. my teeth went beyond me in a pattern wrapping around me and within these now large triangle but crocodilian teeth were fruits and juices of every desire.
pure awe and joy resumed its presences within me and i felt so grateful to have this experience as i tasted the plethora of hallucinated fruits
J tried the “soup” complaining and laughing at how bad it was, but kept eating. it was kind of a warm corn smoothie with a lot of garlic and no salt, by far the worst soup ive made in long time. we exchanged a few comments and i managed to acknowledge i was now aware there was soup which spiraled into hilarity. tears of laughter were shed like rain in that space.
some soup later, i returned to the hearth and melted into the couch. quite literally to me, as i began to lose my motor skills upon it, i felt it behind me pushing me into itself. the couch was eating me. all i could see was its nauseatingly green andean patterns all around and softness edging upon suffocation. i stated this as i dislodged myself from the fabric soup, but i was sure no one heard what i was expressing, their indistinguishable conversation continued. S asked me how the soup was, and all i could say was “different”, J lost it at this and for her “different” became a way of explaining a lot of things in life from then on.
i vaporized marijuana under the stars a few more times and was pleased to see flashes of light and stars at moments of revelation for me, i felt like i had connected with some consciousness and that everything was as it should be. my path more clear than ever, life more wonderful and mysterious than before. i felt the mountains behind me in some cartoon way. it put its big blue arm around me and out of its hand poured potatoes, it spoke to my mind without words but clearly saying “you’re safe here, stay, and eat potatoes (and other root vegetables)” this brief but timeless encounter comforted me in the deepest of ways and i felt truly safe for the first time in many years
the feelings of the body began to dominate my senses as i was reconnected more to my physically exhausted vessel. i call it the falling apart phase, because it feels like reality is glitching within my body and theres weird itchiness on my face and core. I’m aware of oils that had been pushed from my pores the previous 12 hours and sought a shower but the night was still too cold, the sun was only starting to become present in the sky behind the distant mountains.
time passes slowly and yet the hours shrink away. The shower was glorious, feeling so much better i aimed for rest. somewhere after sunrise i went to sleep for a few hours to awaken as if i had only just blinked. the medicine was still quite obvious then too
the day was spent nursing the body and lounging, not much of anything can be accomplished after such an ordeal. just rest. another term, recovery day, is one i use to describe day 2 of san pedro ceremonies
the following day was still connected energetically to the previous two and it was only after the second nights sleep did a feeling of normalcy return upon day 3 waking
for me it was the strongest encounter with this strain of trichocereus, for S J and Y it was the strongest encounter with all san pedro
the energy of the experience inspired me to create this art w/ color pencils
Chaska attached the following image(s):
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(123kb) downloaded 111 time(s).grow plants, make tea, love life