Am I becoming slowly more plant-like? Mother Ayahuasca seems to think so, if only mildly.

All of this, again, before my actual ceremony... the Calm Wind before the Vicious Storm!

So... this morning, I was feeling very stuffy in the head, because of last night's meditation, where, more strongly than before, it felt like a thick, sharp needle was being pushed strongly into my forehead. Not too painful, but very intense.

Yesterday, eariler in the day, I was walking across the bridge that connects the old mall and the new mall in Ipswich. As I walked past one of the alcoves where bridge jutted out, with some seats for rest and looking over the river, three crows flew and perched there. I calmly kept walking, my tiger spirit reminding me, the crow comes, the crow goes, don't ascribe guessed meanings, and just be.

And so, last night, during the calmer part of the meditation, I felt slight pressure on my forehead, and I had a vision of the crows on the bridge. One of the crows warned me that there would be a great deal of emotional turmoil coming for me soon, but that I would be safe, because I have my spirit guides to protect me. So, being calm and waiting patiently has its benefits.

Also during last night's meditation, I came upon an inner Energy... and it poured throughout my aura, until I could Feel and See, with my eyes closed, it shining a very bright white, luminous and shining. Feeling, intuitively, that I should do so, when the energy started to fade, I gave the remaining Energy to my tiger spirit. Feeling how deeply calm and collected I was, she accepted without question.

The meditation resulted in me feeling very light, both last night and this morning, with the exception of my heavy head and light faintness, as if there was residue energy from that needling.

This morning's meditation cleared my mind, mostly. When I was at my calmness, she also gave me energy in return, as a gift for last night.

Towards the tail-end of the meditation, I had a vision of walking into this garden, surrounded by many trees, my tiger spirit following me, and pointing details out to me. This garden was within me, a representation of my nature, and my current state of mind. A garden in the midst of a large forest?

After I and her played for a bit, bounding around happily, she abruptly told me to follow her. Deeper into the woods I followed her, until we came upon a thick wall of trees. Deeper within we went, everything becoming more dead-looking and bleak, until we arrived at our destination: a deathly, dusty, grey small pocket with a hole. I was hesitant to go in, though I was still calm. She prodded me to keep going, not be to be afraid. She leapt onto my back, and in I went.

Falling into the deep black, I lost all mental sensations apart from the deep blackness. Very calm I became... I fell and fell, until I reached the bottom, my tiger spirit gently telling me to rise and see what was in front of me; it was a gravestone, of sorts, lit white-grey, the surrounding ground dusty and deathly bleak, full darkness all around.

It had a broken cross, and a broken, grey painting with a ghastly image of Jesus Christ on it. Ah, I realized... what I seek, for tonight's Caapi-only Ayahuasca ceremony is healing, not just of my sexual trauma, but of the anger and pain of my religious trauma. So, that was my intention.

I sat on the ground, with my tiger spirit guide relaxing beside me, telling me to wait and be calm. On my other side, my guardian spirit guide appeared, and on my shoulder, my crow spirit guide. And so, I waited, serenely and patiently.

Before long, a figure appeared in front of us, which transformed into a snake. "Boa!", I immediately thought. I was right. The snake shot towards me, stating that my guess that it was indeed Her, Mother Ayahuasca, was correct. She shot up the base of my spine, snakes pouring in from all directions simultaneously. I had a vision of me falling back onto the grey, dusty ground, on my back, then being absorbed into the ground, falling within.

Mother Ayahuasca and the snakes began their work, writhing around inside. My tiger, crow and guardian spirit guides all jumped in shortly, also helping. Mother Ayahuasca gently informed me that I could go about my physical work, cleansing the house and smudging, while they all worked on me.

Even now, in the background, when I pay attention, they're still working on me.

Well... intentions... do indeed go very far. Mother Ayahuasca is aware of my determination, and so, has answered me in kind. I am utmostly grateful!

What else can I say?