So, before I start this, I would like to thank my family here on the nexus for helping me ride this beast out to the end, it meant a lot, And Ill never forget it, Much love and appreciation for you all<3.My trip consisted of two doses of aya, one mild dose, And one absolutely MEGA dose



Yumi dose number1: The trip I should have settled for

I administered to myself an unknown dosage of ayahuasca and haramlas, Here's a picture of Dose 1

You can see the undissolved harmalas floating around. ^ Have fun guessing how much DMT is there, your guess is as good as mine.

So, after I administered, I'm calmly sitting in my chair, chatting with folks in the nexus chat, When I begin to feel it, coming out the back end of my body, I go to the bathroom and purge it out, And I notice things are beginning to get funny, I immediately start laughing at how much material I have deposited into the toilet, and begin to feel a minor onset, I stand up and look into my mirror, And I begin to have these, Revelations of manhood, Of who I am. I felt powerful, and valiant.

Back to my room, Things are getting extremely crazy now,Things are starting to move, Letters on my screen are beginning to move in circles and rearrange, I'm seeing awesome neon colors dancing everywhere, I'm having a wonderful time, I felt many masculine feline presences with me, I felt like I was completely reborn. I was feeling very powerful aspects of humanity and masculinity that were missing in my life, for the first time in my entire life, it was a complete ceremony, of being reborn spiritually, a new.
There came a point, were I was having these, Not exactly, Quite, Sub breakthroughs, That were just unfathomable, Unexplained, Everything I knew, and my reality, Were just completely shaken to the very core, And Nothing meant anything,nothing was supposed to mean anything, And I was just in a state of complete bliss, I was literally one with the universe, And everything in it. It was extremely beautiful.
I proceeded to come down, Peacefully and calmly, Now, On to round 2.


Yumi dose number 2: Never Again.



Way hore harmalas were added this time


After my first trip, I decided, I had to do this again, And little did I know, That this would be a terrible mistake. It would be a mistake that, would change my life, forever. I felt like I could take this by the horns, And dive right in for another beautiful experience, I was so gravely mistaken.

After ingestion, An hour in, I began purging, Very bad,it was wreaking absolute havoc on my body The trip was coming on so heavy and hard,I wanted it to stop and slow down, but I had no control I literally thought I wasn't going to make it out of this alive, I had to coach myself, and say, Dude your going to make it bro, You gotta hold on, I'm in my bathroom, purging, And morphing into different types of creatures, Cat person, Plant person, Lizard person, And my humanity is slowly slipping away.

I pace back to my room, And come to my chair and curl up into the fetal position and close my eyes, This is when the real breakthrough test occurred, This is when I was holding on for dear life, My humanity was being taken away, it tried to take me, Away from me, and I couldn't let go, I fought so hard not to let it happen. and I was begging, please no, Please I am so sorry, I will never do this every again, My flesh was slowly being ripped away from my soul, Like dominoes slowly falling, And at this point, I was just a dot, a tiny dot in a spotlight,This showed me, Who I am in the overall picture of things And at this point I knew, I failed the breakthrough.

After this horrific experience, I proceeded to ride it out the best I could, I was peaking immensely. for hours I was tripping,purging, I had many MANY sub breakthroughs after this, wich were all fun, and I did enjoy it. But, After that, I will take it easy with the aya

Ayahuasca is a beast, It is a monster, a beautiful, monster.It is a continuously flowing serpent that will completely pierce and shatter your being\soul. The imagery I associated heavily with this trip, Were thorns, during the heavier times, I felt encased and pierced in thorns, I believe the thorn on the acacia, are a warning, To the user. That what you are about to experience can be very dangerous, And it is a sharp sword. You must approach this substance with a level head, and a stable mind. It will take you completely away, And there will be nothing you can do about it. I came into this whole experience, with the completely WRONG expectations, I highly, mis-underestimated, and completely took for granted, this amazing spiritual journey, But, After the storm, there is calm, And you slowly, like a feather, drift back to the earth, Back to reality, everything comes back and your return your normal self, to move on, and live life, with a new outlook, A positive outlook.

Keep drinking, Yumi.

My first experience was calm and peaceful, as if the brew knew I needed to become comfortable first. Second experience was way stronger. Since then, I've been mildly afraid to drink when the Mother called, but I've always risen above the fear and kept going, because I need to. The desire to not drink again is merely fear...

Perhaps your ego fears its illusions and delusions being shattered? Can you ignore the fear and keep going, knowing that Ayahuasca will give you what you need as long as your intentions are focused and you are courageous enough to overcome and face your fears, no matter what?

Every time before I drink, I always think about my deepest intentions and focus them into the brew as it is cooking.

I'm having a ceremony tonight that I feel will be significant, again, in some way. Empty the cup of my mind a bit, so to speak...

Stay strong, Yumi!

when talking to you in the chat i did not think you would redose so quickly.

those shattering experiences sometimes can be the most valuable.
I had a really horrible experience with LSD at a festival that absolutely broke me. I was gone for a lot of hours.
But it was also the experience where i did learn the most about myself and now when i think back it is still not pleasant but i made it through and i am stronger now because of it.

for me it took over a year to even consider my beloved mushrooms again. So give it time, something like this experience needs to be processed. And when you someday consider drinking ayahuasca again, maybe follow a recipe so you know how potent it is.

Great Report Yumi,

Very well written - thank you so much for sharing.

I'm sorry this happened, but I must say you are integrating like a champ.

If I may be so bold: I would suggest the Never ever again rubric should be in reference to cooking/ingesting without a scale.

The DMT waters are vast and range from the warmest, friendliest, wade friendly tide pools to the coldest, deepest mid ocean trenches/ridges. Sounds to me like you stuck a toe in, found the water to be fine, then sailed out to a trench and dove straight for the black smoker at the bottom. There's a lot of water, flora and fauna to explore between one and the other.

Please keep integrating and keep us posted.

Peace & Love
Pandora

good report thank you Yumi.
Pandora says my thoughts.
Yes, the dosing: why the Russian roulette?

In a way DMT is always ego Russian Roulette. But measuring doses at least can give you a chance to let you know what you are in for.

You know, Looking at it now, I was a bit melodramatic in writing this report, only because of how extreme the experience was, I will re-dose aya again, Just smaller doses this time, That second dose I took was way to much, I completely underestimated this substance.

How much vine do you think you used, roughly?

When you feel the call again, start of by trying about 40 grams of vine and 10 grams of Chacruna. Start there, then gradually work your way up with doses of vine. Once you know you can handle the extra vine, after a while of slow increments, the slowly up the amount of Chacruna in the brew.

And yes, Ayahuasca can really shatter your expectations when you least expect it.

?

Your first dose was unknown, then you even dosed some more.

Ok, so you learnt the hard way to be respectful to these substances. You are lucky that they are not really toxic, or you could have been in real trouble.

You are 100 percent right, I should have definitely weighed everything out accordingly before hand, it just goes to show you inpatients can lead to disaster



You to are 100 percent right, I take this as a very powerful lesson learned. Whats life without making a few silly mistakes here and there ?


I'll have to take and put the same amount I used onto a scale to get an idea of how much I used exactly, I used roughly five generous handfuls of acrb along with some caapi, And simmered it down for about 2 hours, I repeated this process several times till my designated aya jug was full

Not meaning to frighten you, but i hope you protected your space, on such a high dose. You will have opened yourself up and made yourself vulnerable to 'possible' posession by negative energies..

I say this to illustrate the fact that these substances really do need to be respected in the manner of SET; SETTING; DOSE.It's there for a reason; Be aware!

Sometimes, you can only learn the hard way.

Life is all about learning. And mistakes are just par for the course. Couldn't grow if you didn't have mistakes to learn from. And big mistakes like this can be some of the most profound, as you learned.


Also, next time, perhaps don't boil down so much, so that you can drink it in quarters or fifths or whatever works for you. That way, you can drink more if the vine guides you to do so, or not, if it is strong enough.

Thanks for sharing your dream experience Yumi. Your 1st exp. sounded interesting, then it became problematic and frightening.

Just an FYI: in dreams, most experienced, informed psychonauts avoid all root barks, including acrb in combination, as they all contain small percentages of yuremamine, which is a potent mao inhibitor, which can interact negatively with caapi or rue, which is already a RIMA.

Just as dreamers never dream other prescription or herbal maoi's with caapi or rue, same goes for the barks. They just tend to clash badly together, which is why Shaman's never use root barks with caapi, only chacruna (Hawaiian is best) or chaliponga, which both contain no hidden Maoi's.

It's too possible to dream terrible, frightening, high-anxiety, nasty experiences with bark combo's due to the negative interactions of yuremamine with caapi or rue, and avoid at all costs, the negative interactions are prominent. Not to mention barks are very nauseating for hours, due to their presence of yuremamine, they were probably meant to be dreamed alone, not in combo with caapi. Traditional chacruna or chali is safe used for thousands of years, but no history of caapi or rue with barks. Remember True Ayahuasca is caapi + Chacruna or Chali never Caapi + barks. The UDV, Santo Daime, and all the various Indian groups like the Shuar and Chama, etc. only use Caapi with leaf.

Current research reveals yuremamine (which is found in mimosa and acacia) is an mao inhibitor, and should not be combined therefore with caapi or even rue:

More on various bark vs. leaf:

---

Many Caapi or rue dream experiences can be pleasant as described by Shanon (who dreamed it over 130 times) dreaming only the traditional way:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...osts&t=69515&p=2

Hey bud, awesome report. Great talk in chat. Definitely should've weighed it hehe, but there's always next time and getting a scale.

The tryptamines are powerful. Oral is a different beast compared to smoking, especially if you take a stiff dose, or the accidental/on purpose redosings' too soon. S%^& can get real very quickly, can totally take you off guard. But making it through an experience like that and being able to bring back your piece of it, your own take on it - when it hits you deep deeep - that is beyond measure no doubt.

I remember the first time i brewed mimosa and caapi, brewed it all day; stiff dose of caapi and a pretty good dose of mhrb, brewed for me and the lady. Wondering if it was even going to work.

Definitely worked Came on very fast and hard once the initial effects set in. I literally blacked out/don't remember about a good hour or more. Like last I remember, we were sitting on the edge of her bed; then i came to randomly, lying down on her bed looking at the ceiling and around me and completely washed away in the experience. Got tossed around pretty good.

Same applies for my first pharma experience id ever had - redosed too soon; blamo.

Powerful stuff. Didn't touch oral DMT for over a year after that. Hard to articulate the scale and intensity of such a thing when it's all said and done. It will effortlessly remove any potential barriers you have or can conceive of; like a twig trying to full-on face the rushing tide of a hurricane; all you can do it haang on.

It definitely had me feeling like I was on a roller coaster ride were I wasn't strapped in properly, Hanging on for dear life going down the hills.

So the most advanced turn down bark heh? Maybe not so advanced after all?
Left is better that right and up is higher than low? There is chemistry and history backing it all up, very nice!
That is a ground to stand on by all means, very solid.
No wonder the fear for bark

I just prepared a new batch using 50 Grams of acacia root bark, And I used an egg white tek to hopefully reduce the amount of tannins in the brew, On my third simmer as we speak.