PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: anxious and a bit tired
(physical condition) Set: a little bit unwell, probably due to impleasant cold weather
Setting (location): home
time of day: 8pm [first half] and 9pm next day [second half], overcast and dreary cold
recent drug use: magnesium and silica supplements
last meal: five beef sausages

PARTICIPANT
Gender: m
body weight: 65kg
known sensitivities: n/a
history of use: a bit of experience, fourth(?) time

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): 120 grams yellow caapi vine, 60 grams chacruna leaves, 1 litre unsweetened coconut milk and a few tablespoons of honey
Dose(s): 3 300ml cups
Method of administration: brew, mixed with coconut milk and honey


EFFECTS
Administration time: T = 0:00
Duration: roughly 6 hours overall
First effects: 0:30
Peak: T = 16:00 - 17:00
Come down: T = 17:30

Intensity (overall): 2

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 2
Implesantness: 4
Visual Intensity: 1


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 2 - feeling a bit emotionally unbalanced - 1 hours)
Afterglow: 2 - calmness - 3 hours)


REPORT

Well... this was an unexpected journey. Especially the second half.

Where do I start...? Well, on Saturday, I finished my fifth wash, combined it all and reduced. I had some dinner beforehand, feeling that it was okay to do so.

I had brewed the caapi and chacruna together for all five washes. I first blended it, washed it, then froze it between each wash. I used white vinegar this time, just for curiousity's sake.

I didn't smudge this time, forgetting that I had brought some recently. I had two pieces of orgonite that I put on each arm of my chair, to provide some positive protection. I didn't use any other stones this time.

[T = 0:00 - 1:00]
At around 8pm, I drank. It tasted very strong... I meditated for a bit, browsed online, and put on some icaros. My spirit guides and Mother Ayahuasca conversed with me throughout, with the conversation being in sync with the icaros as they started and stopped. Don't remember much, except Mother Ayahuasca scolding me for having eaten quite some junk food over the past week. She seemed a bit exasperated, and then asked me to eat healthier. I was shown how bland and tasteless the junk food was, compared to the vibrant taste of real vegetables, specifically, the sweet potato, pumpkin, carrot and broccoli mash / tasty slop / I-don't-know combination I enjoyed often.

[T = 1:00 - 2:00]
I had been listening to them for about an hour, when I was quietly told by one of my spirit guides that I had a visitor. It was a tiger spirit. I had a talk with it, which was interesting. Don't remember what it said, though. Later, at some point, the tiger spirit need to hunt, so it went off somewhere, and I followed. It pounced from scene to scene, until it found something, killed it, then gulped it down. Then it bounded back to where my physical body was. We talked a bit more, then it vanished again somewhere else, telling me it would be back some time. The spirit of a cute little puppy also visited me. I gave some pats, then it bounded off happily. Very adorable. I could... see the tiger and puppy, not physically, but as a faint outline of energy and much stronger presence. Curious stuff.

[T = 2:00 - 3:00]
Somewhat later, I was relieved of some of the pain and masturbation compulsion from the sexual trauma I had experienced when I was a child. Painful, but I survived. I got a bit of angina / chest pain / something in the chest as well... Mother Ayahuasca wanted me to eat better, so this was my cue, I guess, to fucking start doing so if I care for my body! Both had tired me out, so I succumbed to sleep shortly after. Overall, an interesting night.

[T = 15:00 - 16:00]
The morning after... I felt kind of depressed / tiredly worn-out / not-entirely-sure... I had a third off the brew left. So, I drank it, then went and sat in my meditation chair, with blankets over me, shivering in the depressingly nasty cold weather.

I talked with next door's birds again and some crows. Then crows mainly talked about death... nice, lol. It was a prediction of what was to come, perhaps?

[T = 16:00 - 17:00]
At some point, I don't know when, I heard a car stop somewhere. Ayahuasca then took me through a hellish experience where I really thought I was going to be murdered, in retribution for... something. I don't know... later, turns out it was just a ploy to make me look at myself, who I was and who I am now. I grew heavily depressed. I felt very odd in the chest, and in a panic, I thought I had some incurable virus that was going to kill me... it felt very real. The right side of my body felt as if it was going numb. I was panicking, despairing. I gave up on life. The voices told me to seek help if I didn't want to die, but I just gave up entirely, sinking into despair and hopelessness. I called out mentally, but heard nothing... I also eventually felt nothing, no hope, no despair, just blank misery, that nothing in life, none of my achievements had mattered, that it had all been in vain, that I had been abandoned by everyone, even my spirit guides...

[T = 17:00 - 18:00]
Then, something shone through. A small feeling came from somewhere, questioning my resolve to give up. Next door's birds and the crows both told me to not give up, to not leave. I asked them why I should? I had nothing left, anyway... they persisted, however. I began to see hope in life again, my despair not so crushing. Abruptly, my spirit guides voices I could hear again. They told me I had blocked them out through my deep despair, and to be more thoughtful next time. Then, they gathered and reached inside my chest... healing me somewhere. They told me to drink some vitamin C powder and just rest. And that was the last thing I remember from the journey. I felt quite exhausted from it all, mentally and physically. But I remembered... I have hope. I conquered despair, through help of my bird-friends and spirit guides.

[T = 23:00]
I queried my tarot cards, later, about what comes next in my journey of life... I drew three cards and got the Tower of Destruction, the Six of Coins and the Knave of Cups. It made sense: my ego will undergo some disintergration, meaning I need to change my life for the better, that I need to find physical balance through healthy eating, and through that, my mental balance will also align. The Knave of Cups suggested that I will undergo some emotional pain while I find proper balance in my life again, that it won't be an easy ride: I have tough work to do, but it will pay off in the end. I just need to stay strong and persevere, to never give up hope, in the most dire of circumstances.

Even now, my mental balance feels off-kilter, but I can find it again. Just part of the integration and shifting of my mind and body.

Thank you for reading!

...those crows (and subordinate bird-ppls) could put in a word for you. Maybe give them a sign that you are indeed a friendlies and not a hostiles.

They have their own 'weird preferences'. It is however, 'horrible' by (most) human standards, although we have seen tibetian paintings of skywoman holding bowls of ripped out eyes and hearts. But this is what they love: piggg eyes and piggg hearts. For some reason, we couldn't deal with that....

Here is something that we can touch (and give them). Un-shelled peanuts, dry catfood and preciousss (frolic moist beef loops, aka 'ringu' )