Hello,
Please disregard all previous posts on all topics. Everything has changed. Last night SWIM had the most fantastic, outrageous, astonishing, profound, ecstatic, transcendent experience of her life. She is left with a deep and lasting conviction that consciousness will survive/transcend physical death and many other things that could fill endless pages. She has spent a couple hours discussing this with her patient sister-in-law who calls it Heaven. She has made journal entries of the type that when she reads trip narratives like them she laughs thinking nothing like that could ever happen to her.
SWIM did smoke Salvia yesterday afternoon and encountered multiple female entities/voices urging her joyously to move forward with the spice, "What are you waiting for? There's something you do need to see! Nothing to fear!"
So, last night she decided to go back into the spice realms. There were a couple of failed attempts one of which resulted in a bizarre kind of chemistry lesson with endless, rapid images of spinning, changing molecules.
She felt absolutely compelled to load a high dose, 28 mg ontop of "salad," probably no more than 38 to 43 mg. She meditated extensively, kind of prayed (a first for her) to the DMT and the other realms then observed the beautiful snowy white crystals . . .she pyrolyzed the DMT. Got three good tokes. . . .Here's her raw journal entry:
Wow! Got lifted up and out after some struggle and taken to fantastic, spacelike, colorful, expanding dimension with tinnitus sound imparting HUGE quantities of information. Light, oneness, evolution, . . . can't remember what else. Quit "praying" for safe journey and start trying to learn something! There was a HUGE, information rich, saturated tunnel - like a field saturated with living, vibrating information. I brought nothing back. Smiling at the irony. Sounds/tinnitus came through as (
cannot read word) echoing sound, but there were other layers/levels/dimensions of information embedded in the echoing sounds themselves. Extremely strong impression of the tunnel - like space in the information richness/density in every square nanometer of this area had sound. The synesthesia had extra layers of information in it.
There were various 3-D objects floating in the tunnel, vibrating with information. All sounds echoed and the tunnel had visible threads rich with data. This tunnel felt like a playground . . .perhaps for the new-mind progeny of the great Singularity/Eschaton machine glimpsed a few days ago . . .Oh boy . . . that feels exactly right. Smiling . . . I brought back and learned nothing. Such a small, puny mind.
Radically incredible realm . . . not possible to do justice. It was a wonderful and wonderous place! I love information and have never felt self in such an ecstatic, info-rich realm before . . . didn't know such a place was possible . . . really incredible. . .
All structure/information was inherently vibrational, frenetic and energetic. The tryptamine landscape patterns/colors were completely absent from tis realm. The tunnel was an orangish-brown color - prettier than that sounds . . . place of extreme, high energy in every possible sense/manifestation. . .
No entity contact, no female presence. This was a higher space/plane/dimension.
Once again felt weirdly compressing to return to my body. Seems like there was some resistance to the launch out of it. But, did get out and immediately found mind/sensorium in this higher dimensional realm.
I know DMT's known as the spirit molecule but for me it's becoming the teacher molecule . . . these attempted lessons (though not truly learned) felt profound. One lesson coming through loud and clear is just how small I really am.
SWIM waited a couple of hours but felt absolutely compelled to go back in. She was sure there was something beyond the tunnel she was meant to see. Journal continues:
Salad + 30 mg (40 to 45 mg most likely). Pray for learning . . .Got one good toke in. By second toke, body was freezing up . . .
Crazy, fantastic realm that literally brought tears to my body's eyes. Lifted out after being helped by invisible, poking, prodding, pulling friends . . . feels really weird to be back in this small recepticle. Teeth feel funny . . .
Coming back a bit . . . Can see paper/writing a bit better.
Was taken to realm beyond life/beyond death. Info-rich, 3-D, endlessly rainbow colored slices of forever/God ringing, vibrating information. Spiral, corkscrew slices sliding into each other. Exchanging high pitched data. So beautiful, kinetic, other-worldly. This was a place beyond/higher than petty concepts like life and death. Death still seems acceptable and inevitable but now it seems it doesn't matter . . . in that it is by no means of the word the end of consciousness . . . this higher info-rich world of fantastic rotating angular rainbow surfaces . . . Seems like phrase, "We are information." is unusually profound, perhaps my lesson . . .
Memory is all fucked up . . . wish had voice recorder of some kind . . .
Feel shaken by experience to this realm. Not religious but feeling like consciousness is not limited by death . . . it simply ascends/transcends to this higher vibrational realm of ecstatically rotating information. Not at all a playground. Nothing to do with other visions. Singularly unique, higher realm.
I was taken by a powerful, numbing trance, beginning to leave body at end of 2nd toke. Barely got pipe down in time. Got NAILED to the bed, even after landed back in body . . .
Ecstatic information. Normal 3-dimensions had no meaning. Tremendous amount of info in the rotating color wheels/corkscrews. Like everything . . . the entire Universe . . . living, dead, past, now, future . . . all possibilities that never were . . . seemed contained yet infinite . . . Ecstatically beautiful info-rich, infinite, rotating, vibrating place. The fundamental info store of the Universe. Definately where all minds (of Everything, sentient or not, living or not, "real" or not) wind up after death. Actually, a great place to be in any state of mind, life or death. But, a place of pure, raw mind/consciousness/existence. Not enough of the self/memory to be able to search for loved ones if this is what awaits us . . .it doesn't matter there. It is too inherently ecstatic and info-dense. So dense that everyone, everywhere, all time is right there. Of course this would include any dead loved ones . . .
This is a place of ecstatic union and oneness with EVERYTHING.
So weird that I cannot seem to shake the idea that this awaits us at death. We really do rise up out of corporeal bodies and pure mind/information "uploads" instantly (It was and has always been already there anyway) to this ecstatic realm. There are no Gods/Godesses/Higher Beings per se there. The entire space by its nature encompasses these and all other concepts easily.
Wow. My world feels rocked. It's 2:35 a.m. and I still can't see straight. Incredible how when compressed back into body was completely paralyzed on the bed.
The mundane world of reality seems sad and depleted compared to this other realm. Yet how very wonderful to be in this simpler, lower-energy, zero-information, embodied, slow-time realm. How nice to savor our short little lives . . .What a blessing to be able to experience this . . . but to know that a higher realm awaits. Really petty things like pain, fear, life and death do not matter and are meaningless in the higher, overall oneness . . . truly a fantastic, transcendent, saturated, ecstatic, beautiful realm
This ends the raw entry. SWIM continues to comment on how the tinnitus sound in these past two realms is distinctly different from the rip/tear sound that shattered reality with the blue-white lightening bolt. That was a transition. These high-pitched tones felt like ongoing transmision of heavy data. Anything, anyone, anytime you'd like to know about or just know, it's just a matter of understanding the tone/vibration/string in these realms.
SWIM laughs as she reads her raving journal entries. She is completely and utterly insane, but that does not matter one bit in the overall scheme of things. Bring on any weirdness or bizarre symptoms, she will be careful and ultimately laugh it off. Questions she didn't know she had have been answered, she has tasted something that is truly transcendent and other-worldly in a way she didn't know was possible. How could her mind, in its most intoxicated state, in it's most delusional/psychotic state, ever possibly conceive of/imagine such a place . . .
Peace & Love,
Pandora
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2Hyperspace LOVES YOU