PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Good calm mood
(physical condition) Set: Feeling good
Setting (location): Living room, on couch in front of patio door with sun shining in
time of day: 1:30 pm
recent drug use: nothing in about a week
last meal: 45 mins ago had left over slow cooked ham, some swiss cheese, and a pickle

PARTICIPANT
Gender: Male
body weight: 80 approx
known sensitivities: nada
history of use: less than 20 trips, less than one year since first trip, no breakthroughs

BIOASSAY
Substance(s):harmala FB , DMT
Dose(s): 5mg harmala FB, unknown amount guess at around 20mg DMT
Method of administration: Harmala vaped in oil burner, spice vaped in GVG with liquid pad


EFFECTS
Administration time: Harmalas at 1:20 -- First spice hit <5mg at 1:30 -- second hit approx 20mg at 1:40
Duration: 1:30 - 2:20 pm
First effects: 1:31 pm
Peak: 1:41 - 1:51
Come down: 1:51 - 2:20 pm
Baseline: 2:30 pm

Intensity (overall): (use HRS-like scale i.e. 0-4: 0 = "Not at all;" 1 = "Slightly;" 2 = "Moderately;" 3 = "Quite a bit;" 4 = "Extremely."
Evaluation / notes:

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: (0-4) 4
Implesantness: (0-4) almost negligible
Visual Intensity: (0-4) 4
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AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: <1 very faint headache, almost unnoticeable
Afterglow: 4 Very intense feeling of love and contentment, very appreciative of beauty I was able to witness


REPORT

Today my trip was almost spur of the moment. I ended up getting the afternoon from work which I was happy about. Mentally I was in a good mood because it was my last day before a week off from work and a highly anticipated trip with my GF. I was feeling pretty good physically, and after getting to my house that was going to be empty for the next 4 hours (besides my dog) I though it may be a good time to try out the spice.

Never having a breakthrough before, nor attempting one, I considered attempting one today. Everything was seemed like it was in place for me to do so. Even my normally hyperactive dog was sleeping in my room on the bed peacefully. I brought out my gear to weigh out a dose and realized that my liquid pad still had an undetermined amount of spice on from previous usage. I deliberated on what I wanted to do for a few minutes and ended up going with just vaping what ever was still in the pad. I realized I had no real clue how much was there, I had just reloaded it probably three times, but never had really "cleared" any of those times.

I weighed out 5mg or harmalas and smoked that first. Then I set myself up in my usual trip spot on the couch. The sun was shining and I really love the shining sun so I decided to leave the blinds wide open on the patio doors, which I never do while vaping for privacy concerns. I took my first warm up hit which must have been almost nothing at all. I didn't get an OEVs and had very faint CEVs.

I drifted in between reality and a dream like state, which is usually the one I find most feelings of anxiety, self doubt, fear, apprehension, etc. As I was in this state my mind was roaming and I decided to consciously examine (examen) the "negative" feelings that come up and try to find the source. I had decided that I was not going to hit the spice again. As my mind was twisting and turning in abstract thought I ended with the final idea that "the goal" was to unite them. Them being the conscious and subconscious. In a moment of pure spontaneity I grabbed my GVG and torch, said out loud to what was waiting "here I come" and hit it hard (relatively). At the time it felt like taking a jump into the depths of hell in order to be reunited with a true love, and at the same time a leap of faith believing that the reunion would be my saviour.

I was still taking in smoke from the hit when I felt/heard the buzz. I knew it was going to be big and muttered "oops" to myself and then inhaled the last bit of what I could fit in my lungs. Set the GVG down and laid down pulling up the blanket, and closing my eyes. Immediately I was in a place I have remember being before, and with the same trickster that was there before. I think this has been referred to as the waiting room by many. And its as far as I've ever made with n,n before. The things I was being shown were fast, peculiar and nonsensical to me. This time it felt a little different. I didn't feel threatened in anyway, I knew this place and this "dude" and his funny, crazy things. I kept going closer to it, the things, and him. Deeper and closer and faster until I completely gave up trying to make sense of them and just let them be. And boom, I was past that.

At first white and love, brighter than a million suns. Then beauty everywhere. Infinite fractally beauty, and I felt love radiating from with in me. I saw the universe for what it was, intelligent, infinite and beautiful in every direction. I opened my eyes ( I think) and I saw infinite beauty everywhere. The universe was alive and beautiful and I was completely wrapped in her. She gave me a kiss and I exploded with infinite love for everything. I knew her and she knew me deeply, and I asked myself why do we always forget. Then I realized we must in order for us to know the joy of remembering again.

I am completely blown away by the intensity and how positive the experience was. Of course I always hope for an extremely enjoyable trip, but I never expect one for the simple fact that I wish to be prepared for the worst.

I feel absolutely amazing right now and hope I can bring at least a portion of this positive energy into my everyday life, and use it to make the world a better place.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Lovely report, thank you for sharing! There are so many emotions that are amplified while in a DMT state that are very hard to describe, yet you did so in an elegant and relevant manner. My latest experience was also very uplifting and liberating and I couldn't be more grateful. There is nothing quite like it. Beautiful.

Much !!!

Amazing trip. Now that you've broken through, will you do it again? More specifically, will you do a breakthrough dose again? Have you overcome the fear and anxiety you spoke of? If not, what is holding you back? Sorry for all the questions, but I just wanted to know why you stop yourself. My hope is for you to release all your tethers (i.e. fear, anxiety, self doubt). The only way you can do this is to question yourself.

Thanks Grateful one, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I did read your last report and always enjoy reading them.

It is very difficult to explain the experience, and after reading what I wrote I always feel like it is a disservice. But then I think to myself the real value of writing these is to help my self to understand the experience. That and many people that will be reading them "been there" and words like "infinite" have a real meaning now. Unlike my pre psych days where it was just one of those words that represented a concept that I could never fully wrap my head around.

I also know how much reading others trip reports have helped me to progress farther, and maybe mine can help one person just a little bit with their own journey.




Great questions, and ones that I have spent many hours contemplating.

1.Now that you've broken through, will you do it again?

I think most definitely. I think it has very big potential for catalyzing positive change and growth within myself. I should also mention that I had a breakthrough before but with 5-MeO, which was my first psychedelic experience and that one I am still not sure if I will ever do it again.

The only thing that will cause hesitation to working more with spice is what I feel I am accomplishing with the experience/s in "real life". I would feel extremely guilty if I were to use them only for enjoyment.

2.Have you overcome the fear and anxiety you spoke of?

I would say not completely, but this experience has helped immensely.

3. If not, what is holding you back?

This is the question. Its not easy work untangling the mess that is self. The fear of facing what I must face is what holds me back. I feel there is something at my core I must embrace, something that is hard for me to. I fear it will be very difficult and perhaps painful. Maybe I am scared of what I may find. I will continue towards it.



Don't be sorry, you are right. These are the questions I am asking, and answering them for someone else can only help me see them from a different perspective. It is also my hope to release these things.

Do you mind me asking why? I have only just started experimenting with 5-meo the last few weeks - 4 experiences in total, 2 of which were release doses. I am totally blown over by this substance and I think potentially complements dmt very well. I'll hold back my opinions on this until I've experimented more. But why are you thinking that maybe you won't you touch 5-meo again?

The trip was spectacular and complete. It was also the most intense thing I have or probably will ever know. I don't doubt it was not unlike experiencing death. During my trip I screamed at the top of my lungs for 5 minutes straight (from what I was told). I don't know if I can ever build the courage to make that jump again. Actually the more I think about it, the more I see myself doing it again one day. But I don't feel any desire or need to at the moment or in the near future. I am forever thankful for that experience, but I think it gave me enough to work with for a while yet.

Wonderful report ehud!

Thank you for sharing!

It is indeed an amazing thing when one takes the plunge spontaneously & ends up having such a phenomenally profound experience...I love it.

Keep up the good work.

Peace.

This is very much like when i first broke through! Most incredible feeling isn't it? Did it feel like it lasted forever but also over quickly to you too? I get goosebumps still thinking about it and it was about 2 years ago!

Thank you for the beautiful report. I have been there, and you helped me reminisce my first breakthrough

It was certainly incredible, and yes time was hard to track.

Everything was moving and flowing so rapidly that I felt like I was missing so much, but the next thing was always so wonderful that I could let go of the last one. When I was coming down I was already aware that I wasn't going to remember most of what I had experienced except for the feeling of how awesome it all was. I think this helped to give me the feeling it was too short, or I needed more time there.

Its pretty cool when you read or hear others experiences and you can totally relate to something that you can't even really describe properly.