CHATPRIVACYDONATELOGINREGISTER
DMT-Nexus
FAQWIKIHEALTH & SAFETYARTATTITUDEACTIVE TOPICS
Bittersweet Options
 
eastlancsguy
#1 Posted : 2/15/2016 10:09:22 PM
DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 131
Joined: 22-Nov-2015
Last visit: 05-Mar-2018
PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Good, feeling very up for it.
(physical condition) Set: More or less healthy
Setting (location): Upstairs, at home, lying on floor supported by a comfy bean bag
time of day: 12:00 - 02:00
recent drug use: Caffeine (coffee), 5 hours previously
last meal: About 9 hours prior, fried egg sandwiches on brown bread & tomato ketchup

PARTICIPANT
Gender: M
body weight: 88KGs
known sensitivities: None
history of use: Novice (3/4 previous sessions with the spice, 3 breakthroughs each time)

BIOASSAY

Substance(s): nn-DMT enhanced leaf (40% DMT by weight), using muellin & pau d'arco
Dose(s): 40mg & 70mg of enhanced leaf (containing 16mg & 28mg of DMT respectively)
Method of administration: Bong specially purchased & used only for enhanced leaf


EFFECTS

-Skipped this as didn't really pay attention to timings.

Intensity (overall): 3
Evaluation / notes:

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 3
Unpleasantness: 2
Visual Intensity: 3


AFTER-EFFECTS

Hangover: 2, slight fuzzy headedness, uncomfortable emotional realisations.
Afterglow: 2, some afterglow


REPORT


Background

It had been quite a while since my last use of the spice, probably about 3 months or so. There have been various reasons. Life has been busy, I've had a lot on at work, I just haven't been able to find a suitable time. To be completely honest, there's also been quite a bit of anxiety around blasting off again. There have been times when I've had the opportunity, but have lacked the fortitude. My first few experiences were using freebase spice via the machine and as you all know, it can be pretty overwhelming. The plan since my last use has been to make changa. I was hoping that the use of MAOIs would help to slow down the breakthrough experience and make it a little easier on the psyche. However, following a failed MAOI extraction, that wasn't to be the case, at least not this weekend.

Fast forward to Saturday. I woke up knowing that today was going to be the day. Searching my mind I had none of the anxiety previously apparent when pondering delving into those deep waters. I was, for the first time in a long time, excited. I felt ready.

I spent the day being productive. I helped my parents clean out their attic and made peace with my partner who I'd had an argument with the day before. During the evening, I spent time with some close friends and their family, enjoying playing with the kids and watching their toddler get used to walking rather than crawling. I'd had a good day. I returned home at about 10.30 and spent some time with my partner, watched a little TV and then started to mentally prepare for what was about to pass.

I gathered my enhanced leaf & smoking implements from my stash spot and went upstairs to prepare my space. Today it was to be in my small office room. The leaf had been curing for a couple of weeks and was a deep green/brown colour, smelling faintly of DMT. It was my first preparation and I was concerned about whether or not it would be effective. I was excited, but the nerves were starting to kick in as well. Today though, it felt right. There was to be no backing out, there was no desire to back out, I had already mentally accepted what was I was about to do, and felt good about it.

I carefully weighed out the first dose. This was to be a taster, just 40mgs of the carefully prepared mixture, to see if the fruits of my labor had been a success, and to also help me ease into a later, larger dose. I loaded the leaf, raised the bong to my lips and then came the question - Do you really want this, Are you ready? The answer came immediately - Yes, I do. Yes, I am.

I smoked...

The inhale was a tad harsh, but not unpleasant. The mixture took a short while to light, then burned with ease, willingly - it wanted to be smoked. I cleared the small bowl almost immediately, breathed deep, and heard the tone start to rise. I held the smoke in for 15 seconds before exhaling, watching the room start to take on that ultra clarity and sharpness that I so often see. Lying back and closing my eyes shapes started to swirl above me, filling the darkness with colour and brightness that was difficult to perceive clearly, but signified the mixture was potent. I was pleased - the leaf was good.

Fairly quickly the effects started to subside. After about 7-8 minutes I felt steady enough to get up and walk around. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My pupils were slightly dilated and my reflection looked strange in the harsh light, almost unreal. I walked back to my office and could taste the spice at the back of my throat. It was unmistakable, otherworldly, alien.

I emptied the bong and weighed & loaded the second dose - 70mg. The first time I smoked in silence, but this time I wanted some music. I prepared some on my phone and started to play it quietly through a speaker. I picked up the bong, hovered the lighter over the leaf and slowly started to inhale. Once again, the mixture took a little while to light but soon started to glow a deep autumnal orange in the darkness, and once again I cleared the bowl and breathed deep, forcing the smoke into the deepest recesses of my lungs. I held my breath and started to count. By the count of 5 the room had burst into hexagonal fractals, each one imbued with a deep holographic shade of dark neon blue or red. By 10 I couldn't focus on what I was seeing and had to lie back and close my eyes. By 15 I couldn't really count, it didn't seem to make sense, so I exhaled...

Quickly the visions before me became all encompassing and the intensity had me gasping for breath. My head felt pinned to the ground and the music lost it's clarity, almost like I was listening to it underwater. Above me a brightly lit yellow figure (similar to a seated Buddha or a Hindu god) started to twirl and rotate within a bright kaleidoscopic tunnel, flipping both horizontally and vertically. It beckoned me forward, persuading me to leave my body behind and follow it up into the space. With each inhale it would come closer, and then would move slightly away again as I exhaled.

Soon I had lost awareness of my body and was flying through hyperspace. I visited all of the places I had seen from my previous trips and saw some scenes that were new to me. It was hard to recall, and I wouldn't be able to do it justice even if I could, but like every time, it was awe inspiring.

Throughout my trip I had a profound sense of there being someone just off to my left, quietly watching what was going on. I couldn't see this figure, but sensed it was a male presence. It wasn't intimidating, but it did feel 'shadowy'. I wanted to see this entity, for it to make contact, but it didn't. It just observed.

Slowly I started to gain an awareness of my body and breathing. As hyperspace started to subside I opened my eyes and could see it's shadow overlaid onto the physical room. Neon circuitry pulsed and traced along the furniture and walls, deep red and blue holographic shapes swirled overhead. I lifted my arms and could see the same circuitry tracking the lines of my body; I could feel the energy moving through me in ways I've never felt before. I felt somehow rejuvenated, cleansed, empowered.

I started to get closer and closer to baseline and the visuals slowly dissipated. As this was happening, a profound feeling started to grow inside me - a feeling of loss, of disappointment. This took me entirely by surprise, but deep down I think I immediately understood why. You see, I instinctively knew that to a degree - lesser or greater, as yet unknown - my hyperspace experiences have been purposefully limited. My trip, though incredible, was a repeat of what I have been through before. It was the same, almost entirely, as previous breakthroughs. I can't shake the feeling that there's a lot more to Hyperspace, but I was left with the distinct impression that until I address certain issues in my life, this is all I'm going to be given access to.

The message I took away was that at the end of the day, it's up to me - if I want to see more, experience more, go deeper - I need to make a commitment to be a better human being, to get closer to my true potential and to work harder at enriching the lives of those around me. I'm failing myself and my family in certain areas, and this needs to be rectified. I feel quite humbled, but am very grateful to have had these insights. I think it's going to be a long road, but I'm hopeful for the future.

ELG
 

STS is a community for people interested in growing, preserving and researching botanical species, particularly those with remarkable therapeutic and/or psychoactive properties.
 
Jaffster
#2 Posted : 2/16/2016 12:43:55 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 161
Joined: 04-Oct-2015
Last visit: 17-Sep-2016
Location: The void
That's a great trip report. It seems like you're still skirting around the edges of hyperspace, but as you said, there's things going on in your life that are preventing the complete experience from happening.

Give it time, patience, it will come in good time buddy Thumbs up
 
Global
#3 Posted : 2/16/2016 12:58:06 PM

DMT-Nexus member

Moderator | Skills: Music, LSDMT, Egyptian Visions, DMT: Energetic/Holographic Phenomena, Integration, Trip Reports

Posts: 5267
Joined: 01-Jul-2010
Last visit: 13-Dec-2018
eastlancsguy wrote:
Quickly the visions before me became all encompassing and the intensity had me gasping for breath. My head felt pinned to the ground and the music lost it's clarity, almost like I was listening to it underwater. Above me a brightly lit yellow figure (similar to a seated Buddha or a Hindu god) started to twirl and rotate within a bright kaleidoscopic tunnel, flipping both horizontally and vertically. It beckoned me forward, persuading me to leave my body behind and follow it up into the space. With each inhale it would come closer, and then would move slightly away again as I exhaled.


This is in line with the way that I experience energetic phenomena in regards to breathing. Inhalation draws the entities/objects/energy into the body, and exhales causes the converse expansion. The energy also seems to be affected by attention/focus/concentration and other forms of "physical" energy (light, sound, heat, vibration...).
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
oversoul1919
#4 Posted : 2/16/2016 1:03:43 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 614
Joined: 02-Aug-2014
Last visit: 14-Sep-2024

Quickly the visions before me became all encompassing and the intensity had me gasping for breath. My head felt pinned to the ground and the music lost it's clarity, almost like I was listening to it underwater. Above me a brightly lit yellow figure (similar to a seated Buddha or a Hindu god) started to twirl and rotate within a bright kaleidoscopic tunnel, flipping both horizontally and vertically. It beckoned me forward, persuading me to leave my body behind and follow it up into the space. With each inhale it would come closer, and then would move slightly away again as I exhaled."

This sent shivers down my spine. My fellow human being, I've met this same Buddha you speak of. I'm shocked! It taught me lessons of breathing, too.
 
TGO
#5 Posted : 2/16/2016 5:09:49 PM

Music is alive and in your soul. It can move you. It can carry you. It can make you cry! Make you laugh. Most importantly, it makes you feel! What is more important than that?

Welcoming committee

Posts: 2562
Joined: 02-May-2015
Last visit: 04-Sep-2023
Location: Lost In A Dream
Nice write up!

I'm glad to hear you were able to take the plunge as I know exactly how hard that can be! Very happy
I know that feeling of wanting to see more but simultaneously holding yourself back too. It is truly a learning curve and takes practice as with anything else. I've been contemplating how to navigate while in hyperspace in order to go deeper but haven't quite figured it out. I'm still struggling with fully letting go each time, let alone trying to navigate the space. But I think that says it right there...letting go is the key, for me at least!

But in the end, you are right, it is up to you to decide how far down the rabbit hole you'll fall.

Twisted Evil

Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience with us!

Cool

New to The Nexus? Check These Out:



One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

 
eastlancsguy
#6 Posted : 2/16/2016 6:29:38 PM
DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 131
Joined: 22-Nov-2015
Last visit: 05-Mar-2018
Jaffster wrote:
That's a great trip report. It seems like you're still skirting around the edges of hyperspace, but as you said, there's things going on in your life that are preventing the complete experience from happening.

Give it time, patience, it will come in good time buddy Thumbs up


Thanks Jaffster. Yes, you're definitely right on the skirting bit. It's not for want of trying! :-)

Global wrote:
This is in line with the way that I experience energetic phenomena in regards to breathing. Inhalation draws the entities/objects/energy into the body, and exhales causes the converse expansion. The energy also seems to be affected by attention/focus/concentration and other forms of "physical" energy (light, sound, heat, vibration...).


Oversoul1919 wrote:
This sent shivers down my spine. My fellow human being, I've met this same Buddha you speak of. I'm shocked! It taught me lessons of breathing, too.


Global & Oversoul, really great to hear that this resonated with you both. The way many of us describe shared experiences just blows me away. I'm a skeptic at heart, but it's getting harder and harder for me to believe that the things we see are are just coincidences or expressions of some unconscious archetypes we hold.

My entity contact has been pretty limited up to now. I've encountered this Buddha-esque entity before, and have had contact with Harlequin / Jester type entities as well, but other than that there's been nothing really concrete. I feel like I've sensed and heard other beings before, but not seen them.

Oversoul - when you say that the Buddha taught you about breathing, could you tell me more? Did it communicate with you somehow, or was it not like that?

The Grateful One wrote:
I'm glad to hear you were able to take the plunge as I know exactly how hard that can be!


Thanks Grateful :-) As I said on your post, I felt exactly like you did before this weekend. Reading your post definitely helped me to feel 'ready', so really, big thanks to you as well for sharing your experience too. I'm really, really glad I managed to break the fast. I think I'm mostly over the fear now, not that I'm going to be hitting it every night! but hopefully there won't be such big gaps between trips now.

The Grateful One wrote:
I've been contemplating how to navigate while in hyperspace in order to go deeper but haven't quite figured it out.


Yes, at the moment I've absolutely no ability to 'navigate'. It feels more like I'm being shown the spaces, it's like my consciousness or attention is on some kind of a psychic rollercoaster with these scenes just flashing before me. I'm hoping that if I can get some MAOIs in the mix it might slow down a little. I've got some Syrian Rue on ice, so I'm planning on trying another harmala extraction on that, and then infusing it into the enhanced leaf. Maybe that will help, who knows. In any case, there's no rush. The spice isn't going anywhere :-)
 
oversoul1919
#7 Posted : 2/16/2016 6:43:42 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 614
Joined: 02-Aug-2014
Last visit: 14-Sep-2024
My friend, on my first encounter with him, I was pretty anxious my breathing was heavy and my heart was beating like crazy. He was waiting me at the end of this long tunnel. He was telepathically telling me how to breath, relax and focus. Then what he did was crazy, he started rotating around me, all while he was sitting still in lotus position.

Other times he didnt talk with me. He just...was there. That's all. He was one of the recurring entities. Now most of my entities are from Central and South American cultures. Didn't have Eastern themed experiences in a while.
 
eastlancsguy
#8 Posted : 2/16/2016 6:56:45 PM
DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 131
Joined: 22-Nov-2015
Last visit: 05-Mar-2018
oversoul1919 wrote:
Then what he did was crazy, he started rotating around me, all while he was sitting still in lotus position..


Yes, this is very similar to what I've seen, he stays seated but flips horizontally & vertically. So far, he's always been silent

Thank you Oversoul.
 
brilliantlydim
#9 Posted : 2/17/2016 3:53:31 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 431
Joined: 13-Jun-2015
Last visit: 19-May-2019
I'll just say I can relate to a lot of whats in your OP. Great report. Keep moving one step at time along your path.
 
eastlancsguy
#10 Posted : 2/17/2016 6:49:31 AM
DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 131
Joined: 22-Nov-2015
Last visit: 05-Mar-2018
ehud wrote:
I'll just say I can relate to a lot of whats in your OP. Great report. Keep moving one step at time along your path.


Thanks ehud, really pleased that so much of what I've written is familiar to you guys. Thumbs up
 
 
Users browsing this forum
Guest

DMT-Nexus theme created by The Traveler
This page was generated in 0.056 seconds.