Long story short, I had a slight crush on this girl at uni, about 3-4 years ago. It faded away within a few months. Even though it was a slight crush, it's pretty abnormal for me. I don't get crushes often. I was on speaking terms with this girl and helped her out a bit. Nothing too over the top. Last time I talked or met this girl was about a year ago. During that time, I was attracted to her, but the crush was completely gone. We were acquaintances, at the very least.

I smoked up recently and saw visions of her. It was other-worldly and ethereal. In the vision, she beckoned me. Not in a seductive way, like a Siren. I can't really explain the nature of the beckon, just that she did. It brought back my initial feelings for her. It came on so suddenly, I had to sit down. The crush came back, stronger than before. Now every time I think about a female human, she is what envision. I can't get her out of my head.

I recently purged my facebook of all people that I haven't talked to in a while, and she was one of them. So to send her a friend request or whatever it's called seems a bit forward.



How the hell do I get her out of my head? Or should I pursue her? Have you guys had similar experiences? What advice can you give besides busying myself with other hobbies and interests?

Follow your heart my friend. I also know such a girl. But I saw her in my experiences before we even met. Perhaps it's destiny, and if it is there's no reason to force it. My problem is I overthink too much, and she's ignoring me because of it.

Sometimes during a trip i'll remember a past love, if you've loved someone then it's always there within you, you can forget about it but when you're in that open state it can surface. If you're still attached to them and want to move on it can help you to do that, as they say if you truly love someone let them go...

I remember on mushrooms once i was thinking about a girl i loved, when i looked up at the sky the clouds made the shape of our faces kissing which was so beautiful.

If i was you i'd re-add her as a friend, that isn't too forward at all

I say go for it man! The worst that can happen is rejection (which hurts) but it wouldn't be the end of the world! Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Rejection is better than never knowing. Going out for coffee to catch up is a harmless proposition. Good luck.

I assume it should be the same as dreams that awake the same feeling : in time it will pass, although it may take more time. So I say "time" if you don't want anything to do with her, but it seems like you do so I say "contact her".

I think you already know the answer

I don't see how it is "a bit forward" to re-friend someone on facebook.

I had a dream I was madly in love with this friend at work. The feeling definitely lingered in the following weeks but I didn't really have a connection with her I wanted to pursue. Just follow your feelings and don't over think.




^

I had completely forgotten about the word, "Crush"
There is a girl who is on my mind now and then but I can ignore such thoughts and not let them get to me, I guess I have a crush also.

My advise is to forget about her. Firstly because every one so far has said, "Go for it" and I like to be different .
Secondly, I'm no psychiatrist but if you think about it , it's not mentally healthy to let some thing play on your mind.

Ultimately though, you don't need advise, I'm sure you can make your own decisions .
I'll admit seeing her in a vision after a smoke is kinda weird.
Good luck to you.

But why is it not mentally healthy to let some thing play on your mind?

It would be because of what allows/causes/enables something to play on your mind, as you say.

Indecision.

And indecision goes hand in hand with over-thinking and over-analyzing, "separating the body from the mind."

Lyrics from the band Tool:




I think it's fine for something to be playing on your mind - but it's up to us to decide which way we go with it. And over-thinking, over-analyzing, etc is unhealthy - and causes that thing to linger on your mind longer than it should have.

You either go for it or you don't, and either way, let it go.

Last thing....it might be helpful to analyze (because obviously analysis can be great when not taken too far!) the reasons you're over-thinking it. Ex. what you fear may happen if you were to go for it, and what they may mean for you, how you may let that effect and/or define you and your life, why you have that fear, how you got to a place in which you fear said thing, etc etc - and conversely, how the strongest version of your self that you can imagine would deal with the situation.


[Disclaimer - this is something I myself deal with quite often. I'm working on taking this advice myself ]

Edit: Ultimately I say go for it! I'd think we could all agree that the strongest version of ourselves we can imagine would go for something in the situation that we find/see/discover something that we desire - why not move towards that? It is possible and within reach - it's just a matter of making the right choices and giving the right things your attention and belief.

In short, (I'm making this up as I go along) having things not play on your mind can lead to carefree happiness and some kind of mental peace , I guess

I had something similar happen to me. It was a girl I had a crush on growing up, she lived very close (kinda the classic girl next door)

It became overwhelming to the point that I looked her up (on facebook) to see what she was doing with her life. She had just been engaged two weeks prior

Follow your heart while you have the time, you might end up regretting it later

I often think about an ex gf after a trip, that I have not seen in 9 years. I would love to see her again. It's not really a crush thing, just that we were friends after we broke up for a time and kept in email contact(she ended up in boston), and while together took off for the summer and backpacked around and that summer changed my perspective on life a lot. I wish I could connect with her again and see what she has done with her life. I think she was the first person I was madly in love with, and we were both so young. That period of my life seems to be something I get nostalgic about.

Right, exactly. We're on the same page. I was just clarifying the issue you brought up.

If something is playing on your mind too much it's cause you're thinking too much about it instead of acting on it or not acting on it and letting it go.

Whereas if you just do what you want (go after what you desire, and not go after what you don't desire), there will be no need to over-think things - you just do what you want and let it flow without fearing what might happen if you do. (like you said, carefree)

Also having a girl play on your mind is a bit more serious than say one of your friends or a work issue etc.
Matters of the heart ,its deep stuff.

Fuhhh sho.