I thought this dmt experience would always be sweet. An endless array of beautiful, loving journeys. Perpetual goodness. Peaches-n-cream. Well, I'll just say, NOT.

A bit of background:
I'd had around 25 peaceful, loving voyages in my vehicle of choice (acrb tea/rue tea). Two of these journeys were the most enlightening, loving experiences I could ever wish to experience. They both were complete oob experiences..ego completely dissolved, becoming one with the "I," "source," "God," (insert your fave moniker), feeling the complete comfort of true unconditional love, realizing that we are all connected and coming to grips with the humbling, yet empowering realization that I am God, and that you are also God, and we are the same "being." Readers digest version; simply beautiful, enlightening experiences.

My other journeys were all pleasant, though not as deep and revealing. I'd become very sure that my dmt experiences would always be "good." Perhaps not as deep as the two early breakthroughs, but "good," nonetheless. I remember reading the hyperslap posts and dismissing them quickly. "These people likely have psychological problems in the first place," I assured myself. "They prob shouldn't be experimenting with this molecule," I reasoned. "I have a different relationship with dmt. I trust it completely. My journeys are always peaceful," I mused. So, with my relationship with dmt securely defined and logically analyzed, I set out to attempt to reproduce those two earlier experiences by increasing dosages. Ignoring warnings in the chat room and following my own path, I increased the dosage very quickly, from 12g acrb to 18g, then to 20g. I simply had to get back to that special place. What danger could there be, when I love dmt and dmt loves me? I was confident that this new love of mine and this peaceful, loving honeymoon period would continue on forever. and ever.

NOT. I can't begin to explain the horror, the absolute darkness. Welcome to the hyperslap, upload, and enjoy your beatdown. lol. I would describe it in detail, but I was blacked out through large portions of this event. I believe the bits and pieces I'm able to remember are only a small portion of the experience. It's like looking at a few pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and realizing that putting the whole thing together, seeing the finished picture, is something that you DO NOT want. Along with the changes psychologically, almost three weeks later there are still lingering physical effects. The soreness in my neck, chest and abdomen is just now fading enough to roll over in bed without causing a shooting pain, most especially in the ribcage. My upper torso felt like a giant bruise for two weeks, but there was no obvious bruising. I have no idea what happened to me. I'm quite sure I didn't leave my house, though I suppose I can't be 100% sure. I'm guessing I repeatedly fell off the bed. Many times. It's my best guess..

The integration is moving along very slowly. I seem to be working through it more sub-consciously. My dreams at night have slowly changed from nightmare horrors to my normal state of simply not remembering my dreams. The experience left me afraid of the dark, though that seems to be resolving itself. By afraid of the dark, yes..I mean like a young child using the covers to hide. Normally occurring "knocks in the night," which I've been accustomed to for yrs while living in an old house, now have the power to terrify me. This, too, is slowly resolving itself.

Soooo, it was time for my hyperslap and omgosh..I'm so thankful things are getting better. I believe I was rushing and trying to control my journeys. I'd become irritated and impatient about not being allowed to re-visit the special place I described above. I thought I would push the dmt to allow me access to what I wanted, when I wanted it. Word of advice; you don't tug on Superman's cape and you don't push dmt. lol One of the feelings I was left with after this experience was total rejection. I felt as if dmt did not want me anymore. I believed I was not allowed to journey and would never be able to experience the 'good side' of dmt again. It simply did not love me, anymore.

Now, after taking a break from the molecule and allowing some time to pass, as I work through the lingering side effects, I believe it was my arrogance and impatience that caused this beatdown. Integration of this experience seems to be happening more through a sub-conscious process. I am just now beginning to consider a very moderately dosed brew to get my feet wet again. A couple of weeks ago, I thought I'd prob never experiment with dmt again. Things are getting better

..as I integrate

That's indeed a hyper slab

Most of us will have them at some point, when my first came i didn't touch dmt for 3 months and then came a long period of leaning to accept it again.
All in all your story has some similarities like the part that you wanted to force yourself in that perfect state. Also the first few weeks after the experience i dint integrate it consciously(it was just to terrible) then half a year later i did some serious integrating followed by some good trips and i was all back again.

be well

I definitely feel that the hyper slap is part of
The evolution of working with this stuff on a regular basis .
I try to warn people all the time on here but
It's hard to imagine if you've never experienced it for yourself .
One must be always careful and vigilant .
Before my catastrophic slap I had only had amazing journeys
And was lulled into thinking it was all good and happy.
I became careless about dosage and vaped a huge unmeasured amount after having
Some really strong caapi tea lets just say it wasn't pretty .
We know a few things that increase risk of one of these happening
Forcing the issue , pushing too hard to get what you want . Unmeasured dose and
Bad setting . Yet even with everything in perfect place you can still get slammed .
After my slap I completely reevaluated everything . it took me months before I could go back .

I have really worked on gaining inner strength and grounding
Myself over time . I' feel like I have come a long way from where I started .
That's why I always recommend people to work with small doses in the beginning .
With smaller ramping up doses you learn a huge amount about how to manage
And go deeper and deeper . In my opinion the hyper slap is an important experience to have .
It's really what you choose to do after it that counts .

Thanks for your input. Sharing the experience does seem to help. Just the re-confirmation that others have experienced this and recovered nicely is comforting.

This^^^^^^^I couldn't have worded it any better myself!

I have learned this the hard way also.

I have come to the conclusion that it is the DMT that decides what we get to see/experience/feel, not us. Sure, we can alter the experience a bit, but not full-on breakthroughs like many of us have had.

Glad to hear you're getting back on track.

It is never easy after a hyperslap!

Peace.