Preparation: Brewed 114g B. Caapi Ciello vine with 40ml of vinegar per 1 liter of water, reduced to 500ml. Also brewed a strong cup of chamomile tea which I mixed half chamomile half caapi and drank.
Sidenote: Chamomile works wonders on the bitterness of the caapi, and while it is still present it makes it MUCH more tolerable and easy to drink.
After drinking half of the caapi I was already feeling very strong effects. Normally the caapi I had was either much weaker or my brewing process was flawed somehow. I was planning on drinking the entire 114g but after half I was rather intoxicated. I then started vaping dmt freebase out of a gvg, started out slow and noticed with each hit I would feel the dmt go from my lungs and move around my body, when it got to my stomach I would get a mild wave of nausea that would subside within 5-10 minutes.
After two fairly strong hits of dmt (I generally don’t measure my doses anymore as I have become rather comfortable with how much I can take in one lungful and I weigh each new extract and get a feel for the weight I am dealing with. I don’t recommend this to anyone but I find that unmeasured doses add a better feel to the experience as my mind doesn’t start expecting certain things i.e. “I smoked 30mg so this should happen”) I started to rotate my hips in a certain way that felt like it was massaging the lower muscles of my back where I have had a dull pain for eight years now. It wasn’t “me” moving my body, however and I just let the medicine take over and do its thing.
Ever since I could remember I have always had to constantly urinate. My mom always thought it was some sort of infection but the doctors never helped. While on Ayahuasca I kept urinating small amounts, at first this was annoying and I was growing tired of constantly standing over the toilet. She told me to have patience and informed me that this liquid was healing and cleaning my bladder and urethra. Sure enough, in addition to my back pain this problem in my body was also fixed (still is almost a week later).
I moved to the floor and the movements got more intense and I could feel a heat in my lower back as energy was being released and tension melting. I continued to do this sort of stretching by gently rocking back and forth and not over stretching anything, as soon as I started to feel tension I would rotate back around to the other side. I was filled with gratitude to my core and even started tearing up at the intense euphoria produced from moving my hips and spine. I stood up and started rotating my hips in a circular motion which stretched, relaxed, and massaged all of the tiny inner muscles in and around my hip which also helped muscles in my back relax. At this point I noticed I was grinding my jaw in a way similar to MDMA only I wasn’t grinding my teeth and I got the same feeling of heat and euphoria in my jaw as muscles started to relax more and more. This continued for at least 3 hours. Everytime I felt myself coming down I would take another hit, deal with the mild nausea, and then continue to stretch and move.
This entire time I was stretching I noticed a sort of voice in my head. It was a female spirit which I understood to be the spirit of aya. The feeling was maternal but somehow even deeper as in The Mother. She began showing me more and more how to move my body in ways that relax the muscles and awaken energy. The movements were always fluid and usually somehow circular and I would inhale for half of the rotation and exhale for the other half.
I was enjoying myself immensely, I could feel years of tension and stress ease out of my muscles and allow them to achieve a higher degree of relaxation than I can ever remember. This communing with Aya and activating my body lasted for another three hours, at which point I felt my body was at its limit with how much more it would stretch that night.
“You’re ready”
I vape more dmt to re-activate the magical vine inside of my stomach and intestines. This time the vapor isn’t even harsh because of the lung exercises that released a lot of mucus. I barely felt the vapor go in, and when I released it I had a pleasant feeling in my lungs. I felt a wave of euphoria wash over me. My body on its own began humming some type of chant that sent powerful vibrations through my head and I could feel parts of my brain awakening as if for the first time. I then felt the dmt move from my lungs and throat into my bloodstream and as it made its way to my stomach I could feel Aya stirring. I could feel like a snake the vine working its way back up my intestines to my stomach.
“It’s Time”
I knew what she meant. I moved very quickly towards the bathroom to purge. I knelt before the toilet and asked her permission to purge. After stretching my abdominal muscles so thoroughly from earlier, I found I was able to have much more control over my stomach which made the purging much easier. The first two heaves felt as if they were being done through me, not that I was doing it, similar to the humming and moving. I was ecstatic, everything in my sinuses had softened and liquefied and liquid was pouring out of my eyes. I couldn’t stop thanking her for helping my body and cleaning me from the inside.
I could feel a bit more inside of me, and even though the nausea had subsided I felt the purge was very good for me and I wanted to rid myself of as much as possible. I asked her permission again and she said the last bit was for me to get out on my own. I focused and tried to control my stomach the way she did in my body and was able to wring my stomach totally empty. I blew my nose and mucus just kept coming out for quite a while until I no longer felt any blockage whatsoever.
I had been cleaned, purified. I knew that at this point I was probably ready to continue vaping dmt and possibly pass into a more visionary state, but I had already been tripping for 8 hours at this point, my body was tired, and I had only drank half of the vine I had prepared. I gave thanks once more and laid down to sleep.
While falling asleep I began thinking about my life and the things I had done so far, as well as the things I wanted to do. I slowly drifted into peaceful sleep dreaming about my path of development.
The next morning I woke up just before my alarm went off and turned it off without even needing it. I hopped out of bed and did yoga for an hour before going to work. When I got home I took care of everything I needed to for the day, and even went hunting (unsuccessfully) for some mushrooms in a nearby cow pasture. The entire day everything looked and seemed different somehow, I felt totally in tune with my body and enjoyed being in the sun sweating and running through the woods.
By the time I felt all my obligations had been satisfied I decided it would be a good idea for me to partake of the vine again as I spent the previous night preparing my body. While not really holding any expectations some part of me somewhere felt that since my body was in a much better state now I would be able to move on to other things Aya had hinted we could do together once I “Became a Man.” I got home and drank the vine, I did mix it again with chamomile because of the pleasant aroma but even the bitterness of the vine felt sweet to me. I drank it with love and felt it working immediately.
I loaded a lot of dmt into the GVG and vaped it all in three lungful’s. I felt the brew come alive within my stomach as energy seemed to emanate from it like light from the sun. Without any hesitation I began the same sorts of movements and stretches to loosen my body up from working during the day and all other tensions. This time I was able to move deeper into each movement and every movement I would do would engage my entire body so I was simultaneously stretching everything in my circular motions.
I felt a bit more playful and less serious than the night before. I no longer held any notion of having a heavy visionary experience as I was in a state of pure bliss moving in my body. I felt a fire awaken near the base of my spine which slowly worked its way up to the crown of my head and then burst. I could now feel energy flowing freely through my entire body without any major blockages (minor ones I am still working on).
As I was moving and enjoying the feeling of being so open and allowing energy to come in and leave at the same time, I had no attachments, no expectations, in each moment my notion of self melted away until I no longer had any notion of Self apart from Other. I could feel myself moving the clouds with the wind, I could feel the ground under me teeming with life in abundance.
This continued for a while and at time I would get small visions. Once I glanced upon Aya as she appeared to me as a giant tree with a gnarled face, ancient of ancients. I felt I was in the presence of the sacred even as the notion of anything sacred made me laugh. I brought myself down into the downward dog pose and started to wiggle my spine as if I were a shark which loosened and relaxed my lower back even more. I no longer felt any aches in my spine as I had been twisting, massaging, exercising for quite a while now.
A thought ran through my mind, I felt a slight disappointment that so far these Aya experiences had not been very visual and I wanted to explore these other worlds that are accessible through the use of dmt. She smiled at me and said
“Get Strong, Young Warrior. Your previous experiences with dmt have been frightening for you because you have been like a monkey at the helm of a spaceship. First you must learn how to navigate these places.”
As she was saying this, I could feel my strength increasing, I was channeling a lot of energy. I could feel as I moved new neural pathways in my brain activating and growing. I could feel my body healing itself. I could feel myself coming out of a long sleep. Finally, my body was waking up.
In this position I noticed my shadow, at first it was quite alarming as it did not appear to be MY shadow at all. It looked nothing like me. The shadow is somewhat hard to describe but in many ways it resembled the shadow of some sort of elf-like creature, with long ears, hair that stood straight up. I was a god playing to be a man, and it was fun (still is
) I began climbing trees and trying to balance myself on things. Before I knew it I was walking on my hands like I had been doing it my whole life even though I never had the strength or balance for it.
I felt primal, I began to move more like a monkey in a lot of ways and could move effortlessly. I weighed nothing and my spine was so loose I could twist and crouch in any position without it causing pain. I noticed I could move each toe individually which amused me immensely. I pulled a cigarette out of my car and turned on a mix that I had made a month before with the intention to trip on acid to it, but I found it was very pleasing on Aya. I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment at creating something beautiful.
I sat in the drivers seat of my car with the windows down and smoked a cigarette. I tossed the cigarette around as I was smoking it, blowing rings and just really enjoying the tobacco. I put the cigarette between two of my toes and began smoking with my feet instead of my hands which made me giggle. I pulled my pipe out of my pocket as the mix started to pick up a little and I felt the buildup of the song would carry me into intense visions.
The song that was playing had sort of dark undertones and on ayahuasca was a little creepy but at the same time very cool sounding. I waited for the right moment and took as large of a hit of dmt as I could. I closed my eyes and immediately became unnerved by what I saw. It was a massive gate with a demons head on the front with flames coming out of his eyes and nostrils and had a tongue of fire. Any description is so far lacking as to how scary and evil this thing looked to me, and the immediate feeling I got is that all hell would break loose if I even continued to look at it, much less attempt to go through it.
All of a sudden I remembered something I heard from an Alan Watts lecture, in which he talked about the best way to deal with these types of things is to just head straight for them and you will see it is all an illusion. A gateway. With newfound courage I faced the demon gate, the music in the background was raging, it all felt so epic. It took all my strength to get to the gate and the terror only increased as I approached it. I almost felt like I couldn’t take it, but I never gave my mind a second to cast doubt and plunged for it.
I remember making vocal groaning sounds as the gateway exploded into a million million fractals which spun around me faster and faster. I was in a vortex which carried me through into… Bliss. I re assembled my consciousness from a million fragments and got waves of euphoria so strong I thought I was dead. I had faced my Self and broken through the illusion. I have no Self, it was left behind as I no longer needed it.
I found myself back in my body in my car, still feeling exactly the same only now returning to a body filled with euphoria. After this I was very tired, and I remember The Mother being proud of me for taking my first steps into what she kept calling ‘manhood.’ Although I feel her definition is quite a different thing than what people ordinarily mean.
Since these experiences I have continued to use the movements shown to me and I just feel so much more in control, because I gave up TrYinG to control anything. It is still pretty recent since my experience and I have so much more integration to do and processing, but I already know deep down that even this one experience has permanently altered my life in the best possible way. I look forward to communing with Aya again soon but even in my normal daily life I still hear her voice echoing at times.
Thank you for reading, I hope everyone here interested in working with these plants may have as amazing of an experience. And for those who have gone far beyond what I talk about here, I hope you enjoyed the read
I love you all.