To Oversoul:

To the rest of the community members who have provided remarkable insight into the life-changing experience that Oversoul experienced and like so many of us who have as well, found troubling in it's implications for the life led and it's future:

The thread should be a sticky, it has some great information on integration. The only advice I feel like adding that could be of any value to what's already been stated is something that's become a sort of motto for me to add to my Axiomatic Endo-Library- "move into the future with conscious deliberation."

Sounds powerful. I know I've had a couple similar experiences. I mean, in never a hyperspace alien bar, but I know that experience. It's deep, immersive, seemingly inexplicable and plays your most deeply held beliefs against you. When you arrive at the beginning of your journey it's as if they've been expecting you, as if they've been waiting for an eternity. And then it begins...

For me it was standing on the edge of the world when 3 somewhat humanoid aliens appeared, hovering in a glistening, stealth black space bullet, over the cliff that marked edge of everything I'd known. They all pointed at me in unison as if to say "there he is!" And then the one in the centre window beckoned and then have me a somewhat comical thumbs up, he wanted me to jump. The gap seemed like 50m or more, but sure enough I landed with grace on the nose of the stealth bullet. When I got in they said nothing, just nodded towards me knowingly, each in turn. And the space bullet hurtled off. Out the windows I could see space and time distorting around me and when we stopped on a dime I could see the essence of matter, the tiniest particles spinning and racing about, the size of planets, all colliding, sticking together and splitting one another apart. Then the stealth bullet raced off again, this time stopping at, what I felt from the journey, was the edge of the universe. It appeared like one of those giant aquarium windows. It was like looking out the eyes of the universe to what lie beyond. Row on row of globular beings of light were visible beyond the threshold, with no visible end to these luminous bodies. The aliens looked at me again, all nodded in turn and we crashed through the wall that defined the edge of all I believed could exist. And just beyond that wall was the cliff I had begun the journey on. This time the bullet space ship landed like a graceful swan on exact point were I stood upon arrival. The aliens disembarked and I followed eagerly, wanting nothing more to hear the wisdom of these advanced creatures. But they didn't speak they nodded, this time to one another as if in conference. The middle one looked deeply at me, his gazed was physically felt throughout my body and a thought formed in my brain, like it was written on the inside of my eyelids.

What was that thought? It took me months to remember, and even now I don't believe it was so simple, because at the time it felt so profound and insightful. When I did figure this message out, the purpose of the journey became obvious. To me, this journey was meant to show me that, no matter how much we know and understand, there are always unknowables. The motifs throughout (especially crashing through the edge of the universe) also seemed to be created to show me the perfect, cyclic nature of the universe. Looking out of the universe only to realise I was also looking in gives me real belief in this cyclic universe idea. The idea that we reflect the universe just as the universe reflects us.

The simple thought he put in my brain: "Everything is as it must be."

The reason I write about this experience in particular is that, like oversoul said, these beings knew me, wanted to show me something and wanted to give me what I wanted most. It was such a great feeling of love and belonging I could perceive coming from them. I interpreted this journey as an indicator to change the axioms so heavily ingrained within me, so that I could be more connected to the universe and to life.

This happened several years ago and I'm still finding new meaning within it to this day. I guess the lesson I'm trying to get share from this experience is; live your life as best you can, experience it, learn from every piece of it and never be afraid to question anything, because without challenging what we believe, we can never truly change and grow for the better, and that's what living your life as best you can is all about.

OK, people of Nexus, today I had most shattering experience ever. I will try to put into words as much as I can, you know this is impossible, but this lame method of communication we have is the only way for us to communicate.

It was around 2 PM, and my friend called me to his apartment to join him. His girlfriend was at work, he was interested in experimenting with spice a little bit more, and he called me to make him a company. After all, I was the one who introduced spice to him. He had some very nice experiences last week, and he's interested in exploring more now.

We bought few beers and snacks and proceeded to his apartment. When we arrived, we chose some psychedelic music to play. We were slowly preparing a nice comfortable ambient. He proceeded to vape first, with glass first, then with piece of tinfoil. Wasn't very successful with either, he had moderate effects, but nowhere near what he wanted (breakthrough).
I've thought to myself: "damn, we have to make The Machine". After I told him how we're gonna do that, he bought one bottle of beer, but it was much more because of bottle than beer, we already had few beer cans.

So, after we got the bottle, we were met by failure. The entire bottom of the bottle fell off! But I quickly remembered what we can do, I asked for duct tape, he gave it to me, and we sealed it very well. Only left the small hole for a straw. We took the dishes scrubber, cut off one smaller piece, and made the plug. The Machine was born dead, but we breathed a new life in it. It was very nice.

He proceeded to vape first. I was holding the lighter at first, and he was just inhaling. He took few very nice hits, which resulted in breakthrough from what he told to me.

When he completely came down, I was next.

I already a have quite bit of experience with Machine, so I proceeded to vape as I do usually. I took three very huge hits, it was so powerful that I don't even remember exhaling the third one.

And so it started:

Almost immediately, I found myself in alien, futuristic, sci-fi bar. Like that one in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but you know, it had hyperspace colors to it. The bar was full of entities. They were drinking, singing and dancing. As soon as they saw me, they said: "Oh, here he is! Here he is! Finally, he's back! Where you've been all this time? Come, join us!" And that's where I joined them, we drank and singed together. I must note that at first I was confused, but then it all became clear to me! They were my old friends! Very crazy folks, I must say. Real revelers.

I was some amount of time in this bar, then the scene changed. I found myself in a very bright sunny place, full of warmth and love. And there were more of my friends! Friends whom I can't tell who they are, but I knew them and they knew me. Friend with whom I was together before I came here. My friends, from the Source. The Source from which we all came. One consciousness, that we are all part of.

They were so happy to see me. So, so, so happy, that happiness can't be described. We were talking about how am I doing here, and why don't I visit them sometimes. I told them that it is difficult here, but I'm fighting. And that I will pass this test. They were so encouraging me like: "yes, we know. You're fighter, you will pass this. Be strong". I told them: "I know, I know. Please, don't worry". They told me that they love me. Never, ever before, this side of the grave have I experienced such love, warmth, light, positive energy, it seemed like my heart will explode anytime from such emotions. It was so powerful, so delightful that there is a place where I'm so loved, I must say that never anyone showed me this much unconditional. love. Even parents. I didn't know if I should cry or laugh. I think I did both, simultaneously. (I must also note that I spent an entire day in this place. Yes, and entire day in 5-6 minutes!)

And I was slowly coming back. With tears in my eyes, trembling voice, shaking hands and body. I was returned back, placed back into this reality, slowly and gently like the mother puts its baby into the cradle. Left to think. Think, think and just think. Think about: "how am I going to continue living my life after this? Everything seems ridiculous now. Everything is a joke and cruel farce. This everything sucks. I don't belong here".


I honestly don't know. I hope that I will be able to integrate this. But, this experience is so strong, after this nothing will be same anymore. This changes everything. Life after this will be like whole new life. Something completely different.

*sigh*

Peace and love. <3 Remember, we are all one. Only our delusions, and our egos are separating us.