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How to continue living my life after this? Options
 
oversoul1919
#1 Posted : 6/8/2015 9:33:37 PM

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OK, people of Nexus, today I had most shattering experience ever. I will try to put into words as much as I can, you know this is impossible, but this lame method of communication we have is the only way for us to communicate.

It was around 2 PM, and my friend called me to his apartment to join him. His girlfriend was at work, he was interested in experimenting with spice a little bit more, and he called me to make him a company. After all, I was the one who introduced spice to him. He had some very nice experiences last week, and he's interested in exploring more now.

We bought few beers and snacks and proceeded to his apartment. When we arrived, we chose some psychedelic music to play. We were slowly preparing a nice comfortable ambient. He proceeded to vape first, with glass first, then with piece of tinfoil. Wasn't very successful with either, he had moderate effects, but nowhere near what he wanted (breakthrough).
I've thought to myself: "damn, we have to make The Machine". After I told him how we're gonna do that, he bought one bottle of beer, but it was much more because of bottle than beer, we already had few beer cans.

So, after we got the bottle, we were met by failure. The entire bottom of the bottle fell off! But I quickly remembered what we can do, I asked for duct tape, he gave it to me, and we sealed it very well. Only left the small hole for a straw. We took the dishes scrubber, cut off one smaller piece, and made the plug. The Machine was born dead, but we breathed a new life in it. It was very nice. Smile

He proceeded to vape first. I was holding the lighter at first, and he was just inhaling. He took few very nice hits, which resulted in breakthrough from what he told to me.

When he completely came down, I was next.

I already a have quite bit of experience with Machine, so I proceeded to vape as I do usually. I took three very huge hits, it was so powerful that I don't even remember exhaling the third one.

And so it started:

Almost immediately, I found myself in alien, futuristic, sci-fi bar. Like that one in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but you know, it had hyperspace colors to it. The bar was full of entities. They were drinking, singing and dancing. As soon as they saw me, they said: "Oh, here he is! Here he is! Finally, he's back! Where you've been all this time? Come, join us!" And that's where I joined them, we drank and singed together. I must note that at first I was confused, but then it all became clear to me! They were my old friends! Very crazy folks, I must say. Real revelers. Laughing

I was some amount of time in this bar, then the scene changed. I found myself in a very bright sunny place, full of warmth and love. And there were more of my friends! Friends whom I can't tell who they are, but I knew them and they knew me. Friend with whom I was together before I came here. My friends, from the Source. The Source from which we all came. One consciousness, that we are all part of.

They were so happy to see me. So, so, so happy, that happiness can't be described. We were talking about how am I doing here, and why don't I visit them sometimes. I told them that it is difficult here, but I'm fighting. And that I will pass this test. They were so encouraging me like: "yes, we know. You're fighter, you will pass this. Be strong". I told them: "I know, I know. Please, don't worry". They told me that they love me. Never, ever before, this side of the grave have I experienced such love, warmth, light, positive energy, it seemed like my heart will explode anytime from such emotions. It was so powerful, so delightful that there is a place where I'm so loved, I must say that never anyone showed me this much unconditional. love. Even parents. I didn't know if I should cry or laugh. I think I did both, simultaneously. (I must also note that I spent an entire day in this place. Yes, and entire day in 5-6 minutes!)

And I was slowly coming back. With tears in my eyes, trembling voice, shaking hands and body. I was returned back, placed back into this reality, slowly and gently like the mother puts its baby into the cradle. Left to think. Think, think and just think. Think about: "how am I going to continue living my life after this? Everything seems ridiculous now. Everything is a joke and cruel farce. This everything sucks. I don't belong here".


I honestly don't know. I hope that I will be able to integrate this. But, this experience is so strong, after this nothing will be same anymore. This changes everything. Life after this will be like whole new life. Something completely different.

*sigh*

Peace and love. <3 Remember, we are all one. Only our delusions, and our egos are separating us.

 

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Koornut
#2 Posted : 6/8/2015 10:01:27 PM

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Sounds like quite the experience! Very happy
I often find friends in the strangest places under the wierdest circumstances, but never in a hyperspace cantina Pleased
Inconsistency is in my nature.
The simple PHYLLODE tek

I'm just waiting for these bloody plants to grow
 
Jees
#3 Posted : 6/8/2015 11:01:56 PM

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Nice report, thanks for sharing, wish I was in that bar too.

Yet...
oversoul1919 wrote:
...Think about: "how am I going to continue living my life after this? Everything seems ridiculous now. Everything is a joke and cruel farce. This everything sucks. I don't belong here"...
Wait until this "farce realm" is allowing you to re-enter when crawling back out of a hyperslap.
Neutral
 
Doc Buxin
#4 Posted : 6/8/2015 11:51:07 PM

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Sounds as if you've got a lot of work to do oversoul...

Wink
Freedom's so hard
When we are all bound by laws
Etched in the scheme of nature's own hand
Unseen by all those who fail
In their pursuit of fate
 
DmnStr8
#5 Posted : 6/9/2015 12:19:42 AM

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Take the feeling you received and run with it! Apply that to every aspect of your life. Create unconditional love in your life by giving it. Start by giving it to yourself first then expand to friends and family then everyone. We all want unconditional love. We all just want to feel appreciated and heard. That is my take on it anyway.

Emotions triggered in hyperspace can certainly give an indication of what is going on in our sub-conscious mind. Just remember that any emotion you experience in hyperspace can be replicated in the real world. Just takes a change of perspective. Good luck!
"In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link." ~Carlos Castaneda
 
TGO
#6 Posted : 6/9/2015 1:22:54 AM

Music is alive and in your soul. It can move you. It can carry you. It can make you cry! Make you laugh. Most importantly, it makes you feel! What is more important than that?

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Very nice, indeed!

Not to be cliché but "All you need is love!" I would hang on to that feeling and try to bring it back down here to earth and integrate it into everyday life (as Dmnstr8 mentioned). To me love is more powerful than any psychedelic journey in its ability to make you feel. Spread the love around, man. It is the right thing to do!

Thumbs up
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Jees
#7 Posted : 6/9/2015 8:41:32 AM

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oversoul1919
#8 Posted : 6/9/2015 4:24:36 PM

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Doc Buxin wrote:
Sounds as if you've got a lot of work to do oversoul...

Wink


You bet I do! I really don't know from where to start now. Only option viable right now is to forget that, and continue from where I started before that, but there is no way I can forget that. Never, ever. :/

Dunno... I hope I'll find the way. Thank you all for being supportive. <3
 
Nathanial.Dread
#9 Posted : 6/9/2015 8:14:39 PM

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You keep living. You had the experience, and now it's passed. The sun will still rise tomorrow. You will still be breathing, your friends (the ones on this plane) will still want to hang out with you. Your family will still need you.

Sometimes we can try too hard to integrate, which is, imo, a bit like trying too hard to meditate. Find something interesting to do and throw yourself into that, not so it will bring cosmic understanding or anything, but just because it's something you like to do.

Understanding will come. Don't stress about it.

Blessings
~ND
"There are many paths up the same mountain."

 
Doc Buxin
#10 Posted : 6/9/2015 8:34:12 PM

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oversoul1919 wrote:
Doc Buxin wrote:
Sounds as if you've got a lot of work to do oversoul...

Wink


...You bet I do! I really don't know from where to start now....


Perhaps begin to look around at your life & find a direction to improve it in ways that will create deep, rich gratitude for it.Smile


oversoul1919 wrote:
..Only option viable right now is to forget that, and continue from where I started before that, but there is no way I can forget that. Never, ever...


I know that all too well...No, you will never forget it; however, your life is now all the richer for the experience...be grateful for that!!Very happy
Freedom's so hard
When we are all bound by laws
Etched in the scheme of nature's own hand
Unseen by all those who fail
In their pursuit of fate
 
Doc Buxin
#11 Posted : 6/9/2015 8:37:15 PM

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Nathanial.Dread wrote:
...Sometimes we can try too hard to integrate, which is, imo, a bit like trying too hard to meditate.

Find something interesting to do and throw yourself into that, not so it will bring cosmic understanding or anything, but just because it's something you like to do.

Understanding will come. Don't stress about it...



^^^^^This^^^^^

This is such good advice too!!! Wink
Freedom's so hard
When we are all bound by laws
Etched in the scheme of nature's own hand
Unseen by all those who fail
In their pursuit of fate
 
Jees
#12 Posted : 6/9/2015 11:06:02 PM

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oversoul1919 wrote:
...I must say that never anyone showed me this much unconditional. love. Even parents...
Well one thing can be said: now you've witnessed how much of that exist.

This puts some responsibility on you not to waist that knowledge, which means to incorporate such value in this world that needs it desperately. To execute it from now on to yourself, and others. If not able to the extend you witnessed, then to extend you're capable of. You had an example of magnitude, what a great gift that is, a teacher-experience.

Integrating the experience means IMHO to put it in practice. When you integrate truly it will copy-paste-multiply-grow in all your cells and then it becomes inevitable that it shows in the way you are, how you perform on earth.

I think you will never understand, I think that is impossible actually, but that is not necessary if you're able to do something with it, to make it work. Perhaps it was not meant to understand, but to set you on course. I wish you so much success with that, as a member of the legion of love.
Love
 
joedirt
#13 Posted : 6/10/2015 1:08:48 AM

Not I

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Nathanial.Dread wrote:
You keep living. You had the experience, and now it's passed. The sun will still rise tomorrow. You will still be breathing, your friends (the ones on this plane) will still want to hang out with you. Your family will still need you.

Sometimes we can try too hard to integrate, which is, imo, a bit like trying too hard to meditate. Find something interesting to do and throw yourself into that, not so it will bring cosmic understanding or anything, but just because it's something you like to do.

Understanding will come. Don't stress about it.

Blessings
~ND


^This. Wise words of wisdom.
If your religion, faith, devotion, or self proclaimed spirituality is not directly leading to an increase in kindness, empathy, compassion and tolerance for others then you have been misled.
 
jamie
#14 Posted : 6/10/2015 3:18:03 AM

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My friends are a huge part of my life and I am a different person because of it. I made myself go out and find something that has become like a tribe..

I never had many friends through most of my life, I felt lonely and taking psychedelics over and over and over and over made me feel even more removed from people because I was able to accept that the people around me were not really my tribe of people anyway..and it was mostly true.

I never found my tribe until I was 30 when I finally decided to just give and start going to raves and enjoying that culture..and I made a trek off into the BC wilderness to shambhala which I always wanted to do, but had noone to come with me etc..I went alone. I ran into some people I did know there..and met some new people. Going to that festival all alone with a bunch of mushrooms and no expectations was the best thing I could have done at the time.

Randomly walking around I ran into the ex gf of someone who was my best friend through my early 20's but don't really see any longer..and I had always missed her friendship but had not seen her since they broke up. Turns out shes really big into the festival scene now, loves acid, works at shambhala and has a large tribe of psychedelic festival friends..I started running into her and others I met through that group every weekend at electronic music events..I became pretty close with a number of these people, had some really profound life changing experience with MDMA and now I just have this family of amazing people..artists, musicians, psychedelics explorers, fire spinners, hoopers..just amazing people.

Now we spend time together every weekend basically. We go hiking in the mountains, smoke ganja on the beach..we make time to go out into nature and have communal dinners together of the best food possible..we are absolute spring water junkies and drive around visiting springs together..this is what is important in life, to find those to share time with those who really see who you are at the core, and find fulfillment in that sharing of something too special to be able to name. It's what emerges naturally from the genesis of real community.

..and of course we talk about DMT. Pleased

I absolutley love my friends and this is how I am integrating 12 years of tripping into my life, and waking back up into the world.
Long live the unwoke.
 
Enoon
#15 Posted : 6/10/2015 6:36:31 AM

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Well, oversoul, now you still have to pass the test, and that test has something to do with living this life it would seem. Something to do with being in this reality, not the other one. But you've caught a rare glimpse of powerful love and friendship, which is a gift, not a curse. Why is this experience so troubling to you?

I think this is a good question to ask yourself. You had a great experience, super uplifting, why does it trouble you to continue on with your life? Is something wrong with the way you are living? This love you experienced, is it something you want in your reality? What can you do to change your life so that you feel more at home here?

What about the test? What do you think it means? How can you pass it?
Buon viso a cattivo gioco!
---
The Open Hyperspace Traveler Handbook - A handbook for the safe and responsible use of entheogens.
---
mushroom-grow-help ::: energy conserving caapi extraction
 
hixidom
#16 Posted : 6/11/2015 2:35:37 AM
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Nice report! From my experience, even the other-wordly effects of DMT get boring eventually...So, you have that to look forward to (or maybe it's just me). The point is that drug experiences will always lose color, but you will always have a cyclic romance with life in this world.
Every day I am thankful that I was introduced to psychedelic drugs.
 
oversoul1919
#17 Posted : 6/11/2015 7:04:35 PM

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Enoon wrote:
Well, oversoul, now you still have to pass the test, and that test has something to do with living this life it would seem. Something to do with being in this reality, not the other one. But you've caught a rare glimpse of powerful love and friendship, which is a gift, not a curse. Why is this experience so troubling to you?

I think this is a good question to ask yourself. You had a great experience, super uplifting, why does it trouble you to continue on with your life? Is something wrong with the way you are living? This love you experienced, is it something you want in your reality? What can you do to change your life so that you feel more at home here?

What about the test? What do you think it means? How can you pass it?


This entire life is a test. I, you, and others are not here just because of nothing. We're all here to learn and experience. That's what I learned from my journey.

Earthly life in itself is a test and quest.
 
Jees
#18 Posted : 6/11/2015 10:35:01 PM

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oversoul1919 wrote:
... We're all here to learn and experience. That's what I learned from my journey. Earthly life in itself is a test and quest.
Filling in the dots: what you exactly learned by this experience is the face and force of love, and that the test is to put it in practice. That's integration in my not so humble view.
 
Enoon
#19 Posted : 6/13/2015 3:13:08 PM

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oversoul1919 wrote:

This entire life is a test. I, you, and others are not here just because of nothing. We're all here to learn and experience. That's what I learned from my journey.

Earthly life in itself is a test and quest.


So live it. To its fullest, experience every moment in full intensity. Don't hold back out of fear. Taste the bitter and the sweet, feel the joyful and the painful. Love, be loved, give love. Don't wait. You already know how to do it.
Buon viso a cattivo gioco!
---
The Open Hyperspace Traveler Handbook - A handbook for the safe and responsible use of entheogens.
---
mushroom-grow-help ::: energy conserving caapi extraction
 
nexalizer
#20 Posted : 6/13/2015 3:45:10 PM

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Enoon wrote:
oversoul1919 wrote:

This entire life is a test. I, you, and others are not here just because of nothing. We're all here to learn and experience. That's what I learned from my journey.

Earthly life in itself is a test and quest.


So live it. To its fullest, experience every moment in full intensity. Don't hold back out of fear. Taste the bitter and the sweet, feel the joyful and the painful. Love, be loved, give love. Don't wait. You already know how to do it.


Smile

YES!!!
This is the time to really find out who you are and enjoy every moment you have. Take advantage of it.
 
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