Set: Relaxed happy and positive but a bit worn out after working so
nuch during the Christmas period and all the stress that the Silly
Season brings.
Setting: Friends house, New Years Eve, city suburb with garden and noone else present
(at least in human form!)
Physical Condition: just a small crisp sandwich and some porridge that
day 4 or 5 hours beforehand, a decent nights sleep was had previous.
Entheos: Bridgesii montrose, boiled down in a brew equated to roughly
6 knobs/buttons each.
Passiflora incarnata smoked at the beginning (rougly 2-3hours in) and
a tea later on, small doses.
We began by sitting around the table discussing our intentions, for G
it was to find new strength to face the coming year and for me it was
simply to let the experience unfold and see what happens with the hope
of a 'reset' or rebirth for the new year.
The tea went down well we used a spoon of honey to coat our tongues
then just threw the shot of cacti tea back. No physical discomfort or
bad taste whatsoever.
We relaxed for half an hour talking about G's experiences in a sweat
box and his recent cacti ceremony around a fire. Not long after I felt
the first alert, having such a quick metabolism and not having eaten
much at all the alkaloids were able to make it to my brain fast, the
hairs on the back of the neck started to tingle and I would feel the
odd typical phenethylamine rush. It was beginning..
We decided to go for a walk to a reserve nearby , on the way we
started to notice significant perceptual changes occurring, my ADD
seemed to be brought on strong, my senses were tweaked I would latch
onto every noise and movement, engine noises sounded so jerky harsh
and unnatural (despite it being of natural processes, sound motion
etc) but organic natural sights and sounds were so soothing and
peaceful.
To get to the reserve we had to walk past the monstrosity of
consumerism that is the Shopping Centre..ughh.. I started to see
overweight and poor people hanging around and thought how these
centres of commerce attract the poor and disadvantaged with all thier
fast food outlets and discount shops promising to fill peoples hole as
it were and that these people reach out for all these consumer
comforts as they are led to believe it will bring them the ultimate
product, happiness..
There is of course other factors at play such as upbringing, mental
health, media, education etc that keep people stuck in these ruts.
We walked through the park admiring the various acacia trees that were
there and the natural ecology in general. Further on we found a field
to sit in, this is when my first visuals started. To get onto the
sports field they had these small U shaped barriers that you can try
and jump over or duck underneath. Between the ground and the metal
there appeared to be some kind of net, it wasnt a spiders web it was
more like a microfibre fishing net. Pretty cool I thought , an hour in
and its starting to get interesting already!
I lay down on the grass and looked at the clouds starting to dance and
morph a bit quicker than usual. I closed my eyes and started to see
beautiful orange patterning swirling gently. This transformed into 2
oblong orange lobe shapes that spun slowly and morphed into a crowd of
faces all looking at me pointing at me YOU YOU they started to look a
bit sinister but I realised it was my reaction to these visuals that
was changing how they appeared so I smiles relaxed and they started to
smile warmly back but still all pointing at me YOU YOU youuuuu, this
was getting interesting these were parts of my ego I thought , the
dissolution of the ego was starting to occur, albeit gradually and
slowly at the 1.5hr(ish) mark..
This was interrupted by an agitated South African man who stomped over
and asked us if we had seen a group of Somalis, apparently they had
been wrecking cars, he seemed to want to recruit us into going after
them. We hadnt seen them and tried to shrug him off as it was
unnerving me and generating some anxiety.
He did leave but it left an unsettling nervous feeling so I said I
think we should go as I didnt like the vibe around there anymore the
last thing I wanted was to end up in some sort of fight in that state
I could think of few things worse.
We headed back and I felt better and more relaxed but there was still
some background anxiety. The walk back was interesting my senses were
tweaked to the max now, sunlight was so bright and the noises
everywhere so loud and penetrating. The ground started breathing and I
was captivated by the patterning of the brickwork and the cracks in
the pavement. My mind was energized but my legs started to feel tired,
my mind wanted to keep walking but my legs were saying nah I'm
nackered. I was looking forward to getting back and sitting down
taking my shoes and socks off so my feet could breathe.
G purged half way back I stared at his puke fascinated and snapped
myself out of it , noone would bat an eyelid at some dude puking up in
the street today it was New Years Eve, the perfect cover.
As we got back I noticed a car parked on the road near the back yard,
I paid no further immediate attention to it. This car was to come to
my attention later on and shape my perception..
We got back and sat down it was nice to rest my legs but I still felt
restless, I started to feel nauseaus but with no purging it was a knot
in my lower stomach wether it was pscyhosommatic or not I dont know,
most likely the after effects of the incident with the man in the
park, or did it go deeper, it certainly seemed like it did. We went
and sat in the garden listening to the neighbours sweeping their
pathway and a dog barking monotonously. We sat with the other cacti
and I noticed how there was no perceptual or visual changes when I
looked at them they looked exactly the same.
The ground didnt it looked like I was viewing a barren desert from
3000ft up, the cracks and crevices dried up riverbeds. The ground was
also breathing again more heavily this time. Maybe it always breathes
and we just dont notice it , maybe we've tuned it out as its
unneccessary for our survival. Maybe not, what I did know was that my
connection to the natural world was strengthening by the hour, anyone
who has taken a psychedelic, especially mescaline/cacti alks is
familair with that feeling you get when you look at the trees, a sort
of awestruck intrigue. Each tree seemed to have it owns personality.
I couldnt sit still, neither of us could we would pace then sit down
we didnt know where to stay the effects were coming on strong and the
light was fading. As the light faded the visuals ramped up, the ground
now seemed divided and appeared to be partitioning itself. Maybe a
representation of my ego dissolving. I sat in the sunroom in an old
chair looking out onto the garden, it felt nice, not exposed to the
neighbourhood but I could observe the outside. The restlessness
prevailed however so I decided to smoke a cigarette with some
passiflora in.
The tobacco tasted and smelt so strong but the passiflora made it
pleasant and the effects came on quickly I felt much calmer and
relaxed and the visuals changed character, CEV became very flowing
flirty and organic, multi-coloured and bright. Im now convinced we
have the ability to greatly influence our visuals on psychedelics.
Open eye visuals didnt change that much but became stronger and more
defined, softer.
I went to enjoy the calmness in the living room to some music, we
commented at how organic the visuals are as opposed to being squarer
if you get what I mean. Less geometrical more like rainbow colours
flowing and melting away to form a room or a cascade of bizarre qwerky
dimesional cartoons. everything in the room seemed to have a
personality. The carpet looked like it had two levels and the red
threaded squares looked like they were growing out of the lower level.
I said something but stuttered gibberishly I was taken back by an
inability to speak coherently and it became amusing listening to each
other gibbering away. My thoughts were clear but my speech was far
from it!
I laid back and witnessed hyperspacial visuals flowing past with a
flirtacious feminine presence, all colours took on a pure pastel shade
and morphed slowly and smoothly, like I was in a psycedelic playpen I
felt like I had been taken back to my birth witnessing the world for
the first time and this time without the influence of my depressed
mother, it was glorious peaceful and joyful, pure. The introspection
had begun. From here on I'm not sure on the exact sequence of events
but it happened roughly as described below.
The restelssness returned and I started pacing through the house
examining anything that caught my eye the passiflora was wearing off
and had left me more restless than I was before. I relaxed a bit and
went to sit down, I stood up sat down walked around , sat down went to
have a piss I didnt need, tried to puke, repeat. This went on for some
time, both us interchanging rooms and seats and sitting positions. I
ended up in the sun room looking out the window in awe at the trees
and night sky but I couldnt shake this restlessness off for long.
I looked at the jar of sweets in the kitchen and the jelly snake was
moving slowly up the side of the jar, this was getting a bit freaky
now, everything was ultra-3D more 3D than 3D haha.
Looking into the mirror I saw myself and concentrated on my face, it
slowly morphed and changed as if it was displaying all my moods one
after the other and the combination of each. Focussing on my pupils
they widened and I felt like I was getting sucked into them, the shock
of this dilated them even more and I began to jump out of my body into
the reflection of my ever widening pupils as if my conciousness was
confused as to which representation of my phsyical self to be in.
Snapping myself out of it I went to lay down in the living room
listening to some music. I thought woooaaahh and felt like I had got
on a woaaahh train! Following the woaaah through space and time. The
bass rippled through me and relaxed me into a nodding trance. G
started using his different tibetan singing bowls some sounded harsh
and painful others calming and trance inducing, sound is such a
powerful medium.
He placed one on my stomach and I closed my eyes as the sound
reverberated, I could clearly see streams of energy swirling out of my
stomach and G next to these swirls as they swirled away into the air ,
my nausea and restlessness vanished instantly it was amazing.
The relaxing effects lasted a little while but the knot in my stomache
returned , there was some deep work that needed doing but I wasnt up
for it yet I was still distracted by the increasing changes in
perception and vivid open eye visuals. Outside was also getting
busier, my ego wanted to dissolve but a part of me wouldnt let it. So
what to do? Go for a crap of course! Once there it was evident that a
crap clearly wasnt the answer! I sat there my higher self trying to
reconcile my monkey needs , one that was misjudged this time so pants
up and back to the living room.
After some time I did relax and we passed a volcano bag around. Good
idea or bad idea I still cant decide, interesting for sure and it was
to change the next few hours significantly.
The introspection went deep I started to recall painful or poignant
memories from the past and realised the effects they were having on me
now. I also realised how the people we know contribute to what makes
us, we are part of them and they part of us.
I ping-ponged from deep introspection to goofy joyous euphoria getting
lost in the CEV. The visuals seemed to take me deeper into thought and
closer to the source of this knot in my stomach region. Ive since been
reading about the Naval Chakra, I dont know if it has any scientific
relevance, it need not have but thats where the knot seemed to be
located.
to be continued..