Basic info:
Set: Calm and clear headed
Setting: My bedroom, as usual
Dosage: 40 milligrams
Administration method: vaporization, via The Machine
Experience duration: ~15 minutes (come up: 1 minute, peak 7-8 minutes, comedown: 6+ minutes, baseline: after an hour).
Overall experience intensity (0-10): 8
Intro:
It was the beautiful fresh night, like one of those typical summer nights. I couldn't get any sleep, because before that, I did sleep quite a lot, I went to sleep around 2 PM, and woke up around 8 PM. So, the sleep was out of question.
I thought it would be a nice idea to vape some spice. I was alone, and I felt like time couldn't be better. But what followed the afterwards was something that I just couldn't have expected. Never.
The experience:
I switched of the light in my bedroom, and just lit one small candle. It was just the right ambient, not too dark, nor too bright. Just according to my preference. I took my old Machine, and put ~ 40 milligrams in it, tried to relax, and then lit up.
After the 2 very large tokes, I was totally disoriented. I tried to take the third, but it was extremely difficult. I maybe took very small amount. On one occasion, I completely forgot that I took that third small hit, I proceeded to vape again, but then was like "no, wait, I took it". My room turned into unrecognizable mess, and feeling of fear and darkness overcame me in one strong wave. I closed my eyes.
Almost immediately, I found myself in a dome shaped room, which was very bright red colored. At the center of the dome roof, there was a yellow rectangle, with a black rectangle layers inside it. Around the edges of the rectangles, there were letters, symbols circling around, which I did and did not understand. I just knew they had negative meanings, something like insults or similar.
It felt like I was lying on my back, and watching all that. Out of nowhere, the imps have appeared, which very circling around me. Their appearance was like some cave painting. They were flying around me, kicking drums, sticking their tongues out, making crazy sick facial expressions, and it seemed that they were doing all of that just to make me uncomfortable and scared. But they weren't successful in that.
(EDIT: As in my previous voyages, I've noticed that objects, rooms in a hyperspace seem very brightly lit, but light is nowhere to be found, which is a very interesting phenomenon. Looks like some kind of indirect lighting).
After I stayed in that room for some amount of time, I've opened my eyes. And that's where I had the most difficult experience of my life.
I felt extremely sick. I felt like I'm running out of breath. In front of me, the goddess Kali has appeared. The feeling I had when I saw her, the energy I felt when I saw her can only be experienced to be understood. But then again, I wouldn't wish to my greatest enemy to experience this what I have experienced.
She slowly moved to my peripheral vision, where I could barely see her. Then she proceeded to take my mind and my soul, and wreak havoc on them in worst possible way. The pain, not physical but mental was unbearable. It felt like my mind is a rubber band, or chewed up bubble gum, and she's stretching it away in every possible direction. How can I describe that? There's no way.
She asked me: "why, why did you come here again?" I said, I don't know. I had to. But I'm ready to accept my punishment. I know that I'm guilty.
This continued for what seemed like an eternity. When it passed, I felt so drained, like she drained every atom of my life energy from me. And it was the first time I felt nausea from DMT.
I couldn't believe what happened to me. But in the end, I was even thankful that she was "merciful", in a way that she did only so much to teach me some respect. And that her true power is way greater.
Concluding thoughts: this seemed like an experience which was nothing except pure evil, but later, I realize it is like parental spank. It might seem malicious and evil, but it is for our own good. When parent spanks the child, it is not because she/he hates them, but because they love them. Same is with the spice. Every experience nice or not nice is for our own good.