PREFACE:I know this area is labeled "DMT Experiences" but for lack of a better location, I'll share here.
When I started with DMT I went in blindly.
My first time was Caapi + Mimosa, I do not recall the dose.
After that I used a lot of Rue + Mimosa.
I'll admit that in the beginning I was going about things as I'd call "stupid" and not quite respectful/with the right intent.
Since then and a lot of sole DMT experiences later - of course in legal places which I fail to mention in a lot of my posts, I'd never break the law at home (which I'm adding because I dislike "SWIM"
.
Anyway I wanted to learn more about the vine. Smoked DMT doesn't cut it anymore. It's amazing yes but it's way too short. As soon as I get to start talking to "something" for lack of a better word, it fades away.
My curiosity stems from wanting to be able to differentiate the feeling of the vine and the DMT containing plants. I also wanted to see what the vine itself can do.
Now I understand the mentions of the power/the light/etc.
In the past with caapi many times someone would literally guide me. There's even been instances where the Ayahuasca would hold out a hand to me and walk with me through the way, so to say.
EXPERIENCE:So the vine I had was completely weak. As much as I "knew" it was Caapi, I was starting to wonder if it was real. My first few attempts were with 20-50g and I felt nothing. I didn't expect a DMT like experience but I was surely misfiring. My vine is tiny/young.
The experience I'll now speak of was made from 100g of this young yellow caapi.
When I make the tea I usually boil it 3 times a few hours each as a lot of others do.
This time I changed it up just a touch...
After the first boil/pour off (I use 3 pans, one big for the boiling, 2 small for slowly reducing) I ran the vine under cold water to cool it down. At this point it had softened up so with some strong twisting back and forth I was able to get the vine to separate into very skinny shreds. I shredded all 100 grams in this manner then proceeded to continue the boiling.
During the third boil it was still almost as dark as the first so I decided to do a 4th boil.
I slowly heated/reduced the liquid to about 1 a liter. I didn't reduce it completely at this point because I knew I likely wouldn't have the time to consume it for a few days and I'd be re-heating it. I stored it in the fridge in a very thoroughly cleansed wine bottle.
Come the day of reckoning I heated it more to make sure if any bacteria or fungi had started to grow it would die. I reduced it to 400ml.
On a note of "the diet". To be honest, I don't follow it completely.
I make sure I do not take any other substances for a week before except coffee and eat normally up until the day of. The day of, I have two eggs and a cup of coffee for breakfast then consume nothing but water for the rest of the day. I give myself 8 hours after breakfast before I even consider consuming the Ayahuasca.
Once I was prepared to consume the Ayahuasca I first drank 200ml (50g worth) to test it since it came out much darker than usual. After an amount of time I did not pay attention to I felt it just slightly. I really can't compare this part to anything. I gave it another 20 minutes and decided consuming the full 400ml/100g would be safe so I drank the remaining fluid.
Just when I started wondering once again what was wrong with my vine, it hit and it hit stronger than I was expecting, in a good way.
The feeling was very energetic. My hands felt like they had waves of energy about 3-4 inches long coming out of them. The rest of my body felt very similar with a hint of vibration.
Sound levels were amplified significantly.
On top of the "better hearing", anything that made a remotely buzzing like sound as in the fridge, air conditioner or fan would make me feel like I was vibrating.
My fiance had the washer machine running and I had to have her stop it because it made the feeling too intense to be comfortable.
At this point I was walking around like a robot. I felt sort of drunk... Not really like alcohol but that's the best way to explain it.
The feeling of the Caapi was very similar to Rue but way better and I don't mean like "oh I'm high dude" but rather, mentally. It was cleaner and led to some surprising psychoactive experience.
Unlike with DMT, visuals were nearly non-existent, not even the tracers I've read about in the few instances online where people do talk about using the vine alone. I didn't care though. Honestly I really didn't care what happened at all, this was more of an experiment than anything.
With eyes closed I would see vague white lines trying to form shapes of things. For a short amount of time if I would focus on them I would start seeing psychedelic patterns but nothing of any real form nor significance.
There was a bit of dialog though. Mostly it was in the form of deep thought. I'd like to add at this point that I believe Caapi alone would be awesome for aiding in meditation. I didn't care about my body nor anything else. It's like the vine made me want to focus on myself so to say, internally.
Aside from the "deep thought", there were three conversations it seemed. Much like on DMT when you talk to an entity, these weren't done via words but rather felt/thought/whatever you want to call it. During each I do remember thinking "I'm not going to be able to remember this when it wears off" which turned out to be true, except for one conversation.
I'm not a fan of "good" and "bad". Although I think we could all do better to live peacefully with each-other I simply don't believe things are that cut and dried.
Personally though how I used to be disgusts me. The one "conversation" was just about that. During the "talking" I had many visions of past moments in my life. Things I've done to people that since I've started DMT/Ayahuasca I would never consider.
While it was showing me all these things I'm questioning "is that really what I'm like, am I just fooling myself thinking I'm a 'better' person now?"... Surprisingly it says, "no". From there the experience proceeded to "tell me" that that's not how I am anymore but there is something from the past I should reclaim - caring more about myself and less about others.
What it meant by that wasn't to stop caring about everyone. It was re-enforcing something I already kind of knew but haven't been facing, that I've been too nice. I do anything I can to help people anymore and sometimes it simply makes me miserable. Some of the things I do also hold me back.
Here's a "For instance".. For instance I have a friend that is a junkie. I used to be a junkie too so I don't view junkies as trash, just lost. They tend to splurge their money of course. They also have kids. More frequently than I like they'll ask for money to help cover a bill for their water or electricity/etc. I give them the money because I know they have kids and nowadays I'm a believer in that we should all help each-other and we'd all get by better. The problem is, not many people think that way. I actually know exactly zero people personally that do so the favors do not get returned. This leads me to wind up in the hole financially myself and then I'm stressed and/or depressed during those periods.
So the lesson from the vine - be nice but not too nice - I suppose.
By this point (45 minutes in) I started to purge but um not puke, ya know? It seems lately Aya does not make me puke but instead chooses another exit. It's 3 days later now and it seems no matter what I eat, it does not remain in me for more than 30 minutes. I hope that stops soon.
I started feeling extremely exhausted mentally and physically. The pleasant vibrating feeling turned into "I can't even sit up will you please grab me some water, I can't wait for this to end, I feel so drained". Just another reason I always make sure to have someone with me I trust and that understands when I do these sorts of things.
The next hour was laying there feeling like crap waiting for the experience to be over. It's not like I regretted it or anything, I simply had enough.
Luckily (?) for me, Ayahuasca only lasts 1-2 hours.
I've made posts like this in the past other places and been told left and right that I must be doing something wrong. With or without a DMT plant of any variety, Caapi and Rue are both the same - at any dose. They only last 1-2 hours for me.
Once it wore off and my mind was free of the cloudy feeling I talked to my fiance about the experience and remained in bed for the rest of the night. Walking was hard, thinking was hard, everything was hard. I was truly drained.
It was worth it. As matter of fact I am now way more inclined to use Ayahuasca alone instead of with DMT for meditation. Of course I'll combine the two again but Caapi alone seems to have it's own benefits. It's also easier to maintain a thought process (or no thoughts) when you don't have crazy energetic entities running around in a landscape of fractals.
I wish I could explain how I felt better than I have. I feel like I'm missing something but I cannot put it into words.
I hope someone finds this useful.
Best wishes Nexians,
- VoidTJ