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DMT is changing me and I don't mean mentally. Options
 
VoidTJ
#1 Posted : 6/1/2015 4:10:56 PM

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PREFACE:
I hope the title caught some attention because I'd like some dialog here.
You can think of this as a combination of multiple experiences.
"Not A DMT experience but THE DMT experience overall."

When I started with DMT I viewed it as just a drug. My first Ayahuasca experience was simply to get high. I don't mind admitting that because I'm not like that anymore.

My first 1/2 dozen experiences are pointless to mention.

The next dozen or so, it started to talk to me - a lot!
Every time I'd "come down" I would think to myself "wow what a weird trip!" and blow it off as just some pretty colors and weirdness my brain generated.

I'm sure a lot of us are familiar with the THEORY that DMT is produced in the pineal gland and that our bodies can have DMT experiences in a few conditions without smoking DMT. For the longest time I had one response to this... "Bullshit"

If you talked to me about God, I'd give you one million reasons you were a nut job.

I don't know anymore guys. I've always been a science man. I'm a programmer. I had debated between being a programmer, psychologist, physicist and lawyer after beginning to study each. I'm sharing that so I can describe my old mindset/way of looking at things - purely physical.

Nowadays I find myself wishing I could drop my company just to research DMT more and, I'm going to. I'm transitioning to a second company to line up residual income just to fund it.

View things how you will. I'm still not 100% "sure" of anything so don't think I'm nuts. I will however phrase things in my post here as they seemed while under the influence of DMT and the time not long after.

COMBINED EXPERIENCES:

For my first few dozen experiences, I was just like "hmm cool trip" and on with my day.
During these experiences hyperspace would always tell me "DO NOT QUESTION ME". I'd be like "huh, I just smoked you, show me some pretty colors!".

It started getting mad at me.
For my next couple dozen experiences, most would be hell. It would say "do not question me" (or similar) and if I did not give in, I would feel terror that no words, no movies, nothing could ever portray. True Terror.

So what did I do? I finally entertained it. I sat down with a pipe loaded with my normal amount and literally said "you say not to question you, show me why". This was when I was a junkie. This experience started like normal but then projected me through the veil. I wound up in a room with 3 nurses looking over me. Long story short they told me if I didn't quit shooting up that I'd die. So after it, I made the decision to stop shooting up. It took me 2 years of relapsing but eventually I got clean and remained that way.

At this point I didn't think of DMT as a simple drug any more. I thought of it as just a tool however. The biggest thing that came out of that experience was respect for DMT.

The next X dozen let's just fast forward through - dialog, I'm a piece of crap (I was), need to be nicer, need to take care of myself, etc. So we've just jumped through 3 years of time.

I had a breakthrough one day. I was in a large open area with a bunch of entities. One brought a bottle to me that was full of negativity. Oh the symbolism. Because of the symbolism I didn't think of it as anything except well, a trip. There was a very nagging feeling however. When I went that deep into it there was a strong sense of familiarity. I felt like I had arrived home, had been there before and always belonged there. No, I'm not saying "this reminded me of other DMT trips" I'm saying, I went home..

Let's fast forward to the past few months. By this point I'm still questioning DMT but not like before. By now I'm entertaining the idea that DMT could be more than just a drug.

Is it that we get high and trip?
Is it that DMT activated our brain/a sixth sense so to say?
Those two questions are what I want to solve.

One night I wanted to see what sex on DMT was like. I'm going to short-story this as I have a report on here. Anyway, we were just getting started, I was feeling great mentally and well .. It does feel amazing Pleased but then it happened, I was sucked out of my body and transported into another. This gentleman tripped and fell backwards in front of a bus. I experienced death. The confusion, the pain, the everything. In no way would I expect death to be anything different. I told DMT "you're fucked up for doing this to me. Why the fuck would you do this to me?".. I was relieved once I returned to my body. Talk about having your view shaken.

From that point I started questioning DMT in a new way. I really started to think about the fact that this reality cannot be simply physical. There's too many questions. Take physics for example. I can compute many things and where before I like others would say "that's physics, see - that's how things work" now I say "well there must be something that ALLOWS physics to be what they are".

Really to me it makes sense. The one/all/universal consciousness/whatever you want to call it. If you believe we're just physical there's way too many questions. One would think the U.C. theory/god/etc would imply many more but really it only leaves one - where did it come from? Once you look at things in a certain light you realize that question has no meaning. I don't believe it came from anywhere, that is impossible. If it is, it always had to have been. If it always had been then it probably wanted to experience. We are the experience. Nothing less, nothing more, nothing grand. We simply are.

The above "belief" is not firmly a belief yet.

It's been a lot of leading to this next point but here's where the whole post has been heading to ...

These points below:
One experience evil entities appeared. Another entity helped me get rid of them. It did so by moving my arms and hands in a way as to gather energy and expel it. Ya I know how that sounds.

Another experience it was going great. It was starting to fade though and me and this entity were not done talking. It was bummed out I was leaving so it had me re-perform the same sort of movements but slightly altered and to focus on the experience. This made it return roughly another 5 minutes.

20mg DMT will now take me where 50+ used to.

I can prolong my experiences with focus.

Even with 10mg of DMT and no visuals, I feel detached from my body every time now.
It reminds me of some of the paintings by various artists.
It starts as a feeling in my stomach like a warm energy. This energy seems to flow up through the middle of me. I then feel like I have a beam of energy coming out of my head that ties me to "it".

Wearing my glasses can make me have a bad experience. It feels like that energy is being skewed/captured by them. One time it actually hurt until I took them off. This only occurs when the energy is strong/flowing fast.

One time after DMT I was stuck with the out of body experience for about 10 minutes. We're talking no visuals, no sounds, no trip. I was unable to move my body though and was stuck a few inches foward. It was like I was half in it would maybe be a better explanation. I managed to get out a few words, telling my fiance to come grab my hand to ground me. Doing so did help. After a few minutes I could wiggle my fingers. After a few more, my hands. A little later I could stand up again and felt completely reattached.

This morning I smoked again. I accidentally pulled too soon and 1/2 came through. The experience was very short-lived and really there were no visuals. I did however have the same feeling of detachment except this time I was able to focus back in - somewhat. Once the DMT wore off I asked my fiance to keep quit (we usually discuss it after) and I wanted to see how long I could keep the energy flowing. By focusing on it I was able to maintain it for about 30 minutes until eventually the birds outside became too distracting. At this point I made the decision to give up and let it go. Once I did my body returned to normal.

CONCLUSION:
DMT seems to separate me from my body. I once again know how all of this sounds and I actually don't fully believe it. I entertain it but am as of yet unsure.

I do know however that when I used to try to practice OOBE, the feeling was damn near the same. I say "try" because often once I'd get to the point of floating above myself, I'd get awe-struck, over think it, and be sucked right back.

My words don't compare to my thoughts. I'm also forgetting some items I'm sure.

My next step is going to be using Ayahuasca (not with DMT) and meditation to hit the same state.
If that works I will then try only meditation to hit the same state.

Our brains may not be what we think.
Maybe there's many things scientists cannot explain because they do not exist in our brain.
Maybe it's just an antennae so to say.

As of now I'm at "who knows" but definitely leaning more and more in that direction.

Aside from DMT, I've had experiences in my life that are too long to continue with in this post but are also on a paranormal level (we're not talking some stupid ghost throwing books at me).

The trip-less experiences combined with the "trip" experiences really have me questioning all of this though.

Feel free to share your thoughts.
 

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travsha
#2 Posted : 6/1/2015 4:32:54 PM

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I was an atheist for a long time - I even gave speeches about how God could never exist and people would tell me afterwards that I made them question their faith....

Then I almost drowned in the ocean and was saved by a spirit who carried me out of a undertow. The experience was so shattering to my world view I tried to deny it for a few months... But I started having visions after that - no DMT needed. I couldnt ignore the visions, and soon after I started experimenting with psychedelics which kept reminding me of my drowning experience.... I couldnt ignore it any longer.

For me DMT was the least helpful substance in figuring this stuff out... I think different people work differently because I know other people love DMT (especially at this site). It was always fun but less insightful or healing for me personally... I also think that if some of these states are caused by endogenous DMT that there is more then one chemical involved because none of my mystical experiences have ever been DMT like (Rich Strassmans research also featured very few cases similar to classical mystical experiences and produced more alien like results, so I kinda think his theory is incomplete personally). So while I think DMT is likely involved I think it is only one small part of the equation.

But my body can naturally produce many psychedelic like states without ingesting psychedelics - just by breathwork, or meditation, or fasting or sometimes just intention. I've shared visions with others which featured the same exact details before. I have seen psychedelic plants cure physical disease. Crazy stuff.

Everything is energy though, and even if you look into science you find some pretty trippy sounding theories about energy.... Switch the word spirit with energy and I think most mystics and scientists would agree on many things....
 
DeltaSpice
#3 Posted : 6/1/2015 5:01:00 PM

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Great post, interesting read.
The Creator always being there and wanting to experience therefore we are the experience is an excellent theory.
We could just be a part of God, living hard drives collecting experiences .
At the least it means I'm not totally useless Smile
 
RAM
#4 Posted : 6/1/2015 9:21:36 PM

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Thanks for sharing this with us. I used to be a hardcore atheist/science-guy as well but then I realized that faith, when kept in rational-check, can be very, very useful and stimulating. Smile
"Think for yourself and question authority." - Leary

"To step out of ideology - it hurts. It's a painful experience. You must force yourself to do it." - Žižek
 
Doc Buxin
#5 Posted : 6/2/2015 12:29:36 AM

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Awesome post!

Having been on the psychedelic path for 30+ years now, I know that these substances are not just "drugs" by the most commonly used definition of the word.

They change you in ways that modern, Western science really can't explain & I aprreciate that.

After all, the best things in life ( or death for that matter ) seem to be the things that modern, Western science can't explain. Smile
Freedom's so hard
When we are all bound by laws
Etched in the scheme of nature's own hand
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In their pursuit of fate
 
DmnStr8
#6 Posted : 6/2/2015 12:53:49 AM

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I very much enjoyed reading your post OP! I am glad that you turned your life around and can relate to that very much. I hope you find the answers you seek. I enjoy knowing that people like you are out there thinking good things. Asking good questions. Good deal! Thumbs up

My problem with all religion is that it sets up division. They claim authority. They have no authority. As soon as you say, I am a Christian, I am an American, I am an atheist, I am this or that, you are separating yourself from everything else. I truly believe that any divisional thinking sets up suffering.

I don't know what is out there. I don't know what happens under the influence of DMT and other psychedelics. I don't really care. I know what information I have received and I go with that. It is my truth and my light. I have found that many have received the same message. This is very gratifying and reconfirming.

At this point in my life I believe that our brains cannot comprehend beyond our scope of thought and our three dimensional linear world. There is no point in trying to comprehend the uncomprehendable. I take the pieces I am given. I take the information received. I take it all in and make up my own mind and heart about it. No authority telling me how to think and feel about it. It is mine.

There may very well be magic in the universe. That is fun to think about but it solves nothing. The message I have received over and over is that we are all one. One with everything. It is all connected. There is no division. As soon as you attempt to divide, separate, compare and analyze there will be suffering. These are products of the mind and the mind will never have the answers. The answers are beyond words and thoughts.
"In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link." ~Carlos Castaneda
 
Global
#7 Posted : 6/2/2015 12:44:09 PM

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VoidTJ wrote:

One experience evil entities appeared. Another entity helped me get rid of them. It did so by moving my arms and hands in a way as to gather energy and expel it. Ya I know how that sounds.


Entities seem to be helpful in providing help in this regard. If you're lucky, they'll do the whole job for you. I've seen them expel the intruder from the premises, and handle them in a variety of ways. They taught me to throat sing in order to combat them. The hands method is intriguing to me because I know that indeed for myself, moving the hands on DMT can easily create energetic patterns, and that I often had the experience of having the energy move my hands in meaningful ways (but never to deal with negative entities). I would be curious if you remembered any of the specifics in regards to how your hands moved. Do you think you would be able to teach it to someone? Can you reenact them with/without DMT?
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
VoidTJ
#8 Posted : 6/2/2015 1:14:46 PM

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Global wrote:
VoidTJ wrote:

One experience evil entities appeared. Another entity helped me get rid of them. It did so by moving my arms and hands in a way as to gather energy and expel it. Ya I know how that sounds.


Entities seem to be helpful in providing help in this regard. If you're lucky, they'll do the whole job for you. I've seen them expel the intruder from the premises, and handle them in a variety of ways. They taught me to throat sing in order to combat them. The hands method is intriguing to me because I know that indeed for myself, moving the hands on DMT can easily create energetic patterns, and that I often had the experience of having the energy move my hands in meaningful ways (but never to deal with negative entities). I would be curious if you remembered any of the specifics in regards to how your hands moved. Do you think you would be able to teach it to someone? Can you reenact them with/without DMT?


I can definitely repeat the overall motions but it seemed that the two different times they were slightly altered for the different goals.

It uses both hands moving in aligned/symmetrical flowing patterns, rolling at different points (from say palms facing upward to downward). The whole time the arms are also moving between me stomach up to the top of my head.

I just repeated some and noticed that many time you can picture your hands forming a triangle so to say. All four fingers on each hand are straight with the pointer of each touching. The thumbs of each are also touching and almost perfectly straight except the very tips are somewhat bent down with the. This is just the basic configuration however.


I will repeat one set of motions here.

It begins with what's described above. My finger tips meet just below my belly button. My palms are facing inward. My thumbs are meeting just above my belly button.

My hands then move upward. As they do they fold into each-other but backwards. In the upward motion as they my pointers hit an area about 1-2 inches above my belly button the backs of my 4 main fingers are are against each-other, with the tips facing my stomach directly. Both of my thumbs are facing upward and still touching. The shape in the open areas between the pointers and thumb is that of a diamond.

This inward folding motion continues as the hands move up. Imagine cupping a set of breasts at this point. My palms are facing upwards with both of my thumbs facing directly away from my body but now on the outside and not touching. The other four fingers of each hand are all still touching on the back and the tips are facing upward.

As my hands move up to my head, they open. Imagine putting up both of your hands, side by side with your thumbs facing outwards towards your shoulders. It's like you're blocking your vision or playing peek-a-boo with a child. While your thumbs are facing outwards, your fingers are facing upwards. Both of your palms are directly in front of you face and as seems to be the theme, your hands are side-by-side touching.

Next the hands are moved forward in a twisting/rolling motion, all the time touching until the are once again forming the initially described triangle but right in front of your face, maybe 4-6 inches away at best with your palms facing outwards and fingers (while angled) upwards.

From there the whole process is repeated except in reverse. Each motion is undone as your hands move downwards.

Now that's just one set but they are all very similar to that. For the entity experience, there were probably 2 dozen sets of motions like these, not all exactly the same.

For the prolonged experience, it was under a dozen.
 
VoidTJ
#9 Posted : 6/2/2015 1:20:43 PM

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DmnStr8 wrote:
I very much enjoyed reading your post OP! I am glad that you turned your life around and can relate to that very much. I hope you find the answers you seek. I enjoy knowing that people like you are out there thinking good things. Asking good questions. Good deal! Thumbs up

My problem with all religion is that it sets up division. They claim authority. They have no authority. As soon as you say, I am a Christian, I am an American, I am an atheist, I am this or that, you are separating yourself from everything else. I truly believe that any divisional thinking sets up suffering.

I don't know what is out there. I don't know what happens under the influence of DMT and other psychedelics. I don't really care. I know what information I have received and I go with that. It is my truth and my light. I have found that many have received the same message. This is very gratifying and reconfirming.

At this point in my life I believe that our brains cannot comprehend beyond our scope of thought and our three dimensional linear world. There is no point in trying to comprehend the uncomprehendable. I take the pieces I am given. I take the information received. I take it all in and make up my own mind and heart about it. No authority telling me how to think and feel about it. It is mine.

There may very well be magic in the universe. That is fun to think about but it solves nothing. The message I have received over and over is that we are all one. One with everything. It is all connected. There is no division. As soon as you attempt to divide, separate, compare and analyze there will be suffering. These are products of the mind and the mind will never have the answers. The answers are beyond words and thoughts.


I agree with you mostly. I think division is a very simple term - as it should be - that easily describes everything wrong with our world.

I also however feel saying "There is no point" is once again creating division Smile. I'm somewhat joking and serious at the same time there but either way don't view it as an attack.

I can understand to an extent it's pointless because let's pretend one did learn the ultimate truth - then what .. The thing is there doesn't need to be a "then what".

You speak of division. You cannot reunite the people without a common reason/goal. They're all too far gone.

I'm not interested in DMT/these sorts of experiences for just myself. There's a much bigger goal in mind here.
 
arcologist
#10 Posted : 6/2/2015 5:27:04 PM

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VoidTJ wrote:
Really to me it makes sense. The one/all/universal consciousness/whatever you want to call it. If you believe we're just physical there's way too many questions. One would think the U.C. theory/god/etc would imply many more but really it only leaves one - where did it come from? Once you look at things in a certain light you realize that question has no meaning. I don't believe it came from anywhere, that is impossible. If it is, it always had to have been. If it always had been then it probably wanted to experience. We are the experience. Nothing less, nothing more, nothing grand. We simply are.

The above "belief" is not firmly a belief yet.
...
The trip-less experiences combined with the "trip" experiences really have me questioning all of this though.


Your journey has been very similar to mine in many ways, and we have come to the same conclusion. We are just different 'viewpoints' of the same universal consciousness experiencing itself from the inside-out.

Similar to you, It took me 3 years to finally seriously entertain that there may be something to it.
 
#11 Posted : 6/2/2015 6:21:48 PM
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arcologist wrote:
VoidTJ wrote:
Really to me it makes sense. The one/all/universal consciousness/whatever you want to call it. If you believe we're just physical there's way too many questions. One would think the U.C. theory/god/etc would imply many more but really it only leaves one - where did it come from? Once you look at things in a certain light you realize that question has no meaning. I don't believe it came from anywhere, that is impossible. If it is, it always had to have been. If it always had been then it probably wanted to experience. We are the experience. Nothing less, nothing more, nothing grand. We simply are.

The above "belief" is not firmly a belief yet.
...
The trip-less experiences combined with the "trip" experiences really have me questioning all of this though.


Your journey has been very similar to mine in many ways, and we have come to the same conclusion. We are just different 'viewpoints' of the same universal consciousness experiencing itself from the inside-out.

Similar to you, It took me 3 years to finally seriously entertain that there may be something to it.

 
Global
#12 Posted : 6/3/2015 1:11:10 AM

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That is astounding. The movements you describe are pretty much what happen to me when I focus the energy in meditation. I could practically predict what you were going to say next as I read each sentence!
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
DmnStr8
#13 Posted : 6/4/2015 1:24:01 AM

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VoidTJ wrote:
I'm not interested in DMT/these sorts of experiences for just myself. There's a much bigger goal in mind here.


IME it all starts with the self!
"In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link." ~Carlos Castaneda
 
 
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