Hey there, interesting that this was bumped now. I've decided to retry harmala dosing to combat a severe situational depression.

After the first experiment, that i more or less documented in this thread, i laid off them for awhile, well up until yesterday. Armed with the knowledge from the last round, I'll try to be more responsible and educated this time.

Just finished another extraction and have a quantity of high quality acacia extract to mix with it. There has been a family crisis, effectively, my mother is at the very end of her life and I'm trying to deal with ALL that. Not the arrangements etc but the emotional load. It's been extremely difficult for me, but this is where the rubber meets the road so to speak.

I ingested a little yesterday in concert with some cannabis, i love that combo and it's to early, but it seems to have had some efficacy. I didn't wake up crying today, as i have the last four days in a row and here i am fully through my first cup of coffee and still tear -free. But I'm thinking about it and my mind feels clear.

When the coast is clear, i plan to do a full immersion with the extract and Rue, possible today as the sun has been drying the mud for a few days and my forest retreat may be dry. I'll let y'all know how it goes with a report.

Things are getting better.. ..

Update: well, haven't gotten the nerve for full immersion yet,, but have been doing the crude whole seed administration for several days now. Paying closer attention to my mind and body, i may be more successful this time.

Instead of encountering the symptoms i was before, I'm finding more peace. I read a post recently, again can't recall by whom, that likened taking Rue to exposing oneself to and embracing the sadness and bitterness of life. Maybe that's what's happening, but I'm finding it easier to make it day by day. Will keep y'all updated, just to add to the anecdotes.

That was me! Thanks for the update. I'm in the same boat. Looking forward to a full immersion soon, too, to address feelings of irritability and disconnection.

I want to be outside myself--expand my sense of self. I want to be a giver and open my heart.

If you open your heart in order to stop the pain, it will close back up again, because in comes pain! But if you open your heart to open your heart, and be there for people, it will open more healthfully.

Yes, hey! I have really appreciated your succinct, well worded insights lately, as the path i an undertaking resonates with them. Thanks!

A rambling thought: depression, as it goes on, might mask out underlying stuff too.
Release the depression, and the underlying stuff boils to the surface, e.g. a nasty attitude.

In that case, the nasty-ness is no result of the depression countering materials (aka don't shoot at the messenger), but something in your Operating System that benefits from an upgrade somehow. Taming stallions?

Jees, yes you have a point. Luckily, the messenger lives and has been given another chance. This time around, even with more significant stressors in place, it seems to be working much better.

I'm at about the same mark as far as dosage over time that the aggressive symptoms appeared last time. I actually have had a couple ' flashes' butt nothing i can't control. I am learning the ropes with this stuff, it's pretty amazing actually. It seems to be pulling out and somehow shining a light on the very things i need to work on.

RS, how goes your experiment?