Hello Nexius,
Like all of my deepest journeys this was the the second sitting. It was yesterday. I asked to meet God.
One hit, 35mg with a Vapour Genie, breath held until I disappear. This is my usual way.
Straight away a folding repeating chrysanthemum welcomes me in. Different than normal. I've been here or somewhere similar about three times perhaps. It peels away, layers folding back. I haven't broken through yet. I am welcomed in. Gentle. Wow this is quick. I try to take it all in, yet I'm fully aware that despite being utterly clear in this moment, everything will be hard to grasp afterwards, a vague memory of a distant dream.
Suddenly I'm there, no idea how I've arrived, and a powerful spirit starts showing me beautiful things.
It all makes soooo much sense and it is beautiful. Things fold in. And repeat. How could I have forgotten this? I remember this! It is obvious and beautiful. I have a vague sense that I can translate it into human thought. It's simple! People need to know this and I can explain!
I go about trying to retain it. To bring just a sentence of this back would be marvellous. There are 4. There has never been 4 before. It is everywhere all the time. Things are unfolding slowly and deliberately - as if demonstrated for my benefit, yet there is a sense that this is a recording, a presentation ready for those who want to see it. This is here and this is here and this is how it is everywhere. The spirit is on the sidelines beautiful, powerful and present.
My god it is beautiful.
Then I notice my breath. I forgot I had breath. Breathe. As I breathe deeply things shift and move with it.
A shift happens and I am amongst very different entities now. They are green. Blob like. The visual information that unfurls is green. They don't like me, or perhaps are wary of me. They are communicating, 'Look what is happening' they say. I try to communicate with them. Send some kind of friendly energy. They seem stern and accusing.
Things start to get darker. The beauty from before is being suffocated. I then realise this is a lesson, or a communication at least. 'Look what is happening' they say. I am reminded of oil. Suddenly the curandero's message from ayahausca - they believe that plant spirits are trying to communicate with humanity, telling them that enough is enough and time is running out - comes into my mind.
I feel an immense and profound sadness. The beauty that was is being destroyed. I almost weep. I do my best to communicate that I will do everything I can to change, to show the world, to stop this immense tragedy from taking place.
The light dips like a fading sunset never to return. I still hold their gaze, imploring them that I understand, I get what they are trying to communicate. This isn't about me, the little me, but about humanity as a whole.
But I don't understand. Not really. I know that humanity is fucking the world, but it has never really bothered me before. I mean - of course it is an immense tragedy - but my world view is that we, all of us, are a single and complete life force, including nature, and we are at a specific point in our cycle, and arguing with what is - is the highway to suffering. We will learn our lessons, or perhaps we won't. Either way time doesn't exist and life will always find it's way. Even if that is without humanity. If we kill ourselves the earth will recycle itself and in the mere blink of a few thousand years there will be no trace of us. And life will start another experiment.
Perhaps this was the lesson. And I was experiencing the sadness of it.
But I felt like I was being called into a battle very much routed in time. When more and more I feel true joy and potential exists outside of the boundaries of time.
So, is this nature's warning, perhaps from the spirit of the Brazilian mimosa that provided the DMT, or is something else, an unexplained lesson, interpreted by my brain?
I'd love to hear what you think.
I'm especially curious about the sense of communication. The experience of 'I have something to teach you, it is important, and you must listen.'
Much love
Much Love <3 xx