Wow, that was the hardest thing swim ever had to go through but sweim feels he had to for a reason. Firstly swim just rocketed off from hitting 25mg through a home made machine bong made from a glass 270 mm bottle with a plastic pen through the bottom, sealed with tape. Used a stainless steel wire wool ball with spice on it stuffed in the neck of the bottle spice facing inside and heated with a plumbers blow torch...... It worked!!!!!!!!
Zoomed off in to hyperspace, drifted in eternal nothingness, then had the sense swim was in eternal hell for the mind. Swims deepest fear is to die and (although logically , hell makes no sense to swim) experience swims concept of hell, which is basically going from one torment to the next, , experiencing your worst fears, like, drowning, burning, suffocating etc but just continually looping through these experiences. Firstly swim had the sense of being Underwater couldnt breath or reach an end, then back in nothingness but darkness and fear began physically wrapping itself around swim, literally suffocating swim in to a little ball. Swim reached out in desperation just as swim felt he could take no more mental punishment, he turned and looked up. Swim then had the sense that he had in fact gone insane and that although in his my mind was out in hyperspace, suffering, in reality there was a room full of people just watching him roll around on the floor, crying out. As swim looked up in desperation, two esoteric lights were above, swim had the feeling that it was his last words to god before Ihe fell into eternal madness and insanity. Swim felt as he looked up towards these two rectangular lights above it was God and although giving swim some respite from his suffering, wasn't making it easy for swim to feed him his desperation, he was comforting swim, but just not making it straightforward if you know what i mean. Swim remembers finding this amusing and thinking to himself, bastard, even at the most desperate time, the pinnacle of swims suffering, after everything swim has just suffered he still won make it obvious or straightforward. Swim then felt the hard floor beneath him and wondered why the floor was so solid when swim was originally on his bed. Disorientated swim slowly came round on the floor, feeling like he was awakening from a very intense, vivid, challenging dream, still very much in swims mind. A sense of overwhelming relief that swim was able to feel like swim, open his eyes and be present in reality, not insane, or in hell or being suffocated. Swim layer there for about 3 minutes crying before finally getting up.
Swim wonders if anyone else has been through a similar experience and would be very interested to hear about them and also any interpretations. Swim feels like it was necessary to experience swims deepest fears, although not a pleasent thing to have to endure, swim is wondering if this is going to have some sort of positive effect on swims mental state or consciousness. Swim does feel extremely relieved at the mo and will be reflecting on this experience. Swim also wonders if now swim has faced his deepest fears, whether that will make room for more enjoyable spice breakthroughs in the future. Swim has plenty of spice left and is debating whether to wait for next experience or just to throw self back in, swim gets the feeling it would be better to reflect, wait a few days and then go back.
Swim would appreciate any comments or feedback on any of the above. For now, wow. look forward to sharing more with you all soon.