PRE-CONDITIONSMindset: Relaxed, what a magickian might call non-attachment/non-disinterest.
Physical condition Set: Mostly well; a cold I've had has mostly passed and in its due course has made me sleep more to be rid of it. More rested than normal, not hyper attentive, not tired.
Setting: Lying back in a bean bag chair in my guest bedroom - which not to sound like a hippy, has a much gentler energy to it as proven by the variance in dmt trip expereinces. Again, I have Delirium's Music Box Opera playing.
Time of day: 22:10
Recent drug use: A dmt trip earlier in the week; earlier in the day I had some dayquil cold medicine - it effects had worn off long before trip time.
last meal: 14:30 Large lunch at a pub; 17:30 I had two bites of a chicken sandwich, as sort of a snack.
PARTICIPANTBody weight: 72 kg.
known sensitivities: None.
history of use: I have done DMT approximately 60-70. Have attempted ayahusca analogs a few times and all other times have been vaped DMT spice.
BIOASSAYSubstance(s): A light tan coloured snowy crystal dmt; a bit of the red/brown wax that is scraped from the evap dishes. From freeze precipitated ACRB using Cyb's salt tek. ALSO: powdered rue extract, light gray/tan coloured.
Dose(s): 42 mg spice, 27 of extracted rue freebase
Method of administration: rectal/plugged/anal MOAI and vaped DMT. Spice was covered by a few parsley leaves, between 6 screens. This was from a .75 litre bong w/ "the key" attachment. Rue extract was dissolved in 5ml water.
EFFECTSAdministration time:
T=0, Plugged the MOAI.
T=45 Vaped spice
T=75 Vaped remaining residue on the screens (no need to be wasteful!)
Duration: 18-20 minutes of open/closed eye hyperspace, 30 mins of blended waiting-room/closed-eye-hyperspace, 30 minutes of slow, philisophical glow.
First effects: T = 30, I didn't think the MOAI was working, I couldn't feel any buzz or anything. At T=47, 2 minutes post bong hits, I started to slide off into hyperspace.
Peak: T = 6 minutes.
Come down:1h
Baseline: 1h20 minutes.
Intensity (overall): 2. Intensity is a weird word to describe it; full flavored yes. But intense? No.
Evaluation / notes: The trip was slow to come up and down. Like falling asleep without knowing it and waking up but still thinking you're in a dream.
OPTIONALPleasantness: 2
Unpleasantness: 0
Visual Intensity: 1
AFTER-EFFECTSHangover: none
Afterglow: Relaxed, very introspective. Soft and open. All beliefs and feelings were open to challenge without guile.
REPORTI slid into hyperspace the way one finds themselves unconsciously daydreaming or scratching an itch you didn't know you had. The MOAI did it's trick - my consciousness was slowly pulled like taffy instead of being burst by bombs.
For a time, I was in the visual cortex, swimming inside the worlds without end. Orange coins and stones were an ocean that I scuba-dived into.
Then it got weird.
I started having thoughts of my own sexuality, of god, and if what happened in hyperspace really mattered. In my fantasies, I've always been a sort of sexual gastronomist, primarily hetero but able understand a spectrum of tastes. A wire frame godess-god-man (see drawing), desired to "enter" me. I was unsure, due to its implications. You see, at the time it was the only reality I knew - I had already forgotten my name or where I was. All my memories had been packed up and left somewhere else. Would I let him/her in? The desire of the goddess wasn't sexual as we'd know it, but a union of psychic bodies - pleasure secondary.
When this scene faded, I became a fairy, a dragonfly. Part of my conscious mind came back - awakened, I could physically talk if I wanted. As this spirit, I gently flew through fields of flowers - each petal was a silken banner that stretched to heaven. Each colour and texture as delicate as spun sugar. It was like being in a hyperspace kelp forest, the air dense like water and sensations otherworldly.
So fragile was the universe, and so beautiful, that even a breath, a conscious thought, would break it ... and so I endeavored to blank myself from all chatter and bathe in drowning light and essence.
It occurred to me that I had never so fully submitted to anything; any god, person, feeling or reality more than I had submitted to this experience. I allowed myself to simply ... be.
Honestly, I felt something ... ineffable - which was boggling. Before, I felt as if all my DMT experiences could be described given enough time and definitions. Not anymore.
That vision then faded from view and I was back in my bean bag, but quite high. I spoke to myself and had a long session of talk therapy. I probed many beliefs and habits, asking myself about the discrepancy of my actions and thoughts. Noting the double-think, I didn't let myself off the hook for non-integrated, mindless actions. Mental reorganization occurred.
The meta lesson, if there needed to be one, was that I could awaken at any time during regular life. The world is filled with wonder, choices, opportunity, sensations, pleasures, heartaches - all for the lavishing. Also, that pretending is belief; and if God exists, why am I so duplicitous? I made a deeper commitment to be myself, throughout. Allow my private life merge with my public; to either rid myself of false belief or to live like I believed it. The comedown was extremely psycho-analytic.
- FF
The two great commandments: to love god and love thy neighbor as thyself. How do we love god? By serving our neighbor in equal pleasure to ourselves.
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