Hello my fellow nexians I do believe this has been a long time coming.
I have wrote previously of my experiences with DMT and my thoughts and feelings which many of you share.
So heres what sucked me into DMT.
A close friend of mine told me about it and I was totally clueless to it at the time, i was not a drug user (smoked the odd cannabis joint) but this was fascinating to me and one day he told me he was able to get some.
So we ordered a vaporiser of ebay a small cheap one. clueless were given some changa no more than 500mg on a brown leaf. (we were told this was DMT not changa)
that evening we set the mood with some shamanistic meditation music and split up the changa into four doses and my friend went first, he had a mild gentle sub-breakthrough yet still an enjoyable experience I followed ten minutes later.
I did not breakthrough but the experience remain with me until this day, as I had a sub breakthrough seeing some pyramids and ancient technology and geometrics.(at this point i would point out my friend had had one previous experience and had broken through!)
We both tried again holding in longer taking bigger tokes but nothing we did not experience what we had hoped. Amazing I thought this little introduction gave me all I need to set me on an adventure to breakthrough and this is when I found the Nexus.
I got materials needed some weeks later MHRB was used an Nomans Tek to yielding amazing results. I watched documentaries read books and post after post about DMT here on the nexus. I had about a gram to play with. Sadly this gram was part wasted. I say part wasted because no breakthrough was given to me although the experience I gained was massive.
3 weeks passed by and I got myself 500g of MHRB again went ahead and got myself some lovely white crystals after not much luck with many experimental smoking devices I got myself a small one man bong and loaded up my first hit with some peppermint leaves from a tea bag, I puffed and I puffed away on my journey. sometimes looking at the room disappearing before my eyes many times I would stumble across the room whilst extremely "high" of DMT trying to refill the bowl so I could get the dose administered before the effect wore off. Many many times I tried but failed.
I figured either my technique was off or I needed a higher dose than your average person.
after a day of deep thought, I had worked my way up to 100mg dose in the bowl (note this would never have been smoked in one hit I could not tell you due to loses how much of an exact dose I required. I sat down in my room and I couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to light bong, I put on some shamanistic tribal music with some bongos and chanting I took 3 big full breaths and forced myself to light the bong and ripped it hard, the peppermint is so soothing it made it so easy, first big drag let out after ten seconds, second drag same, when taking the third drag like usual had to fight confusion and not being able to see my hands, geometrics patterns waving around and seeing with OEV geometrics ripples, (which I now know is ripples between dimensions and observing them). I focused myself and ripped the bong with every intention my body had, strong and hard pull but done with a smooth build up to prevent coughing, I was holding in my breath for as long as I could. And that's when it happened....
I could see arms , in blackness spinning around making triangles weird I thought this was strange.. I notice it is no longer hard or difficult to hold my breath, Im not short of breath or in need of a breath of air. Time seemed to stop then my focus shot to a buzzing sensation in my head... my elbows, shoulders knees and feet felt an amazing powerful vibrational feeling, this feeling progressed to above my groin area, almost sexual in feeling as it rose the high pitch frequency in my head intensified.. I still haven't breathed out I don't know how long its been the feeling in my groin is so powerful (yet so nice, so right) I bend over as I am sat in the lotus position my breath releases and a geometric butterfly greets me as I turn into a ball of energy and rocket out of the top of my head, (at this point I have no idea what my body is doing). I am staring at this butterfly pattern which is blue in colour and against a black background, I notice jolts of what appear to be electricity shooting across what appear to be tiny cells and it hits me I am looking at my brain I was literally watching the cells in my brain exchange information. Travelling over pathways which I can not in anyway shape or form describe to you how it looked, but I imagine I was travelling through my body backwards because when I got to the end I literally popped out of my body and I was floating bodily-less in nothingness.
I think at this point I was experiencing an ego loss, it was very short lived, as out of the nothingness came a bright spherical light surrounded by a purple haze like cloud, like something the Hubble telescope would have captured, its beauty was beyond measure. There was nothing else I did not not exist, it was just as if I was being shown the beginning of time, to me this light and purple haze is the source, everything was there and I was there I had no questions only answers. as quick as it appeared the purple haze around the orb gathered into a purple orb and collided with the white orb spinning to resemble ying and yang it span into a single orb and then exploded in a fierce and very terrifying explosion.. after the fierceness and brightness calmed a bright light was all I could see it was flickering and then dimmed, stars, galaxies, milky ways, were all visible to me. I felt overcome by the sheer size of what I was in. I opened my eyes it felt like it had been an eternity but maybe 15 minutes had passed, I could still see the effects of DMT in my room but they were wearing thin, I closed my eyes to enjoy the remaining CEV's.
This was my first breakthrough experiences and it was incredible, From what I gathered I got what I asked for I always asked DMT before smoking it, mentally begging it to show me the universe and origins and answers. I believe I watched something similar to "the big bang" incredible.
This was not enough for me and I continued to experiment with DMT and have had many breakthrough and sub breakthrough experiences since. Bad and terrifying trips have ensued and its unpredictability and strangeness has always kept me interested.
Over Christmas holidays something amazing happened to me, through my countless attempts at meditating using methods including frequencies etc I found my practise to pay off. I have since I went to my first guided meditation group felt a pressure located where my pineal gland would be (at a guess) but have never experienced anything with this I have tried and tried to lock on to it mentally and control it.
Over Christmas holidays I sat alone meditating headphones on in an empty house, (the street I live in is occupied by students and all had gone home to families so it was extremely quiet). I had been meditating in lotus position for approx 1hr 30mins concentrating on this pressure, I then felt a pulse then a double throbbing feeling. I concentrated on this again as the high pitched frequency I was listening to increased the pulsing/throbbing got more intense I held my breath as this happened then from the darkness of my meditation (eyes were shut in a dark room) an extremely white bright light started flickering and then completely filled my vision, through the flickering I started to make out some figures in the distance I'm not sure but my breath dropped and it slowly went away.
I played around with this and have done so a few times after this, through my practise I am now able to activate this pressure and a high pitched noise and crackling noises similar to when I breakthrough.
I'm not sure what I can do beyond this and if anyone could help guide me I would be grateful, DMT is very special to me but I no longer feel the need for it, it has achieved what it can although im sure if the opportunity arises again I will travel using DMT.