Date: December 30, 2014

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Relaxed. Calm. Prepared. Slightly nervous.
Setting (physical location): In front of my alter, at the foot of my bed, my bedroom window right above the alter. With my friend (sitter).
time of day: Afternoon
last meal: 3 days of eating clean, and during this day, I drank whey protein and milk after my workout in the morning. Fasted beyond that. Was very hungry going into the experience.

PARTICIPANT
Gender: (male)
body weight: (175lb)

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Dried Mushroom (PES Hawaiian)
Dose(s): 6.02 grams
Method of administration: Ground into a powder, mixed into 12 oz orange juice.

EFFECTS
Administration time: 4:20pm (By coincidence--I wasn't trying to be cute with that)
Duration: 5 hours (ingestion to "baseline"
First effects: 12 minutes!
Peak: 1.5 hours
Come down: 3 hours
Baseline: 5 hours

Intensity (overall): 9/10

Assessment
Pleasantness: (4/4)
Unplesantness: (1/4)
Visual Intensity: (1/4)


REPORT
Yesterday was the largest dose of mushroom that I have taken to date. I had decided to take this dose about five days in advance. I do not know why I decided for six grams over five (five being my largest dose prior to yesterday), other than possibly the difficulty I had on my last 5g dose in not being able to really break through.

I had planned to take the journey an hour before sunset on Sunday (three days ago), but decided not to at the very last minute because of some minor anxiety that I was having over my little brother coming home late from his camping trip. He hadn't arrived at the time that I was planning to dose, I waited, and when he arrived, it just didn't feel right, so I put it off to Monday. When Monday came a similar thing happened. Nothing serious, but I just wan't feeling 100% about it, so based on the advice of a friend (who would be there sitting for me), I went ahead and pushed it off another day.

This brought me to yesterday. I decided that I needed to spend the day in peace, so I went to the gym first thing in the morning, had a great workout, and then came home to meditate. I probably spent an hour meditating that day prior to the trip. I had also set up a 90 minute massage, again based on the recommendation of my sitter-friend. So I meditated for about a half hour at the foot of my alter, then went to the massage. I was somewhat anxious about the massage for reasons that I won't get into for lack of relevance, but it was nothing short of amazing. It really was one of the best massages I've had in my life, and I thought to myself during it how wonderful it could be if I could get this lady to do this while I'm tripping. My friend later told me that she's the kind of chick who'd absolutely be down, but I digress.

After the massage I felt awesome! My only concern was that I had to get from the massage place to my house which meant going through traffic and downtown--an experience that always seems to produce some anxiety, but I ended up being fine. Before heading home, I went to the crystal shop on the corner and bought a "crystal" ball and some other jeweled things for my alter. I'd been wanting a crystal ball for a long time, but couldn't justify buying one for myself until now. This was different because I had a christmas visa gift card from a family member, so I didn't mind buying something that I wouldn't normally spend money on.

Anyways, I got home, walked dog, and then my sitter arrived. I meditated very briefly after walking the dog and then mixed the mushroom powder into the orange juice. I shook it vigorously and drank it down. It actually was quite good after not eating anything all day, although the grainy texture was a bit off, and it was foamy, which was kind of gross. Otherwise they went down fine.

I started feeling my first effects literally 12 minutes later. I wasn't 100% sure of this until the 15 minute mark, but by that point I could confirm with absolute certainty that it was coming up. It struck me as slightly concerning that I was hit so quickly--I was worried that this one might knock me to the ground and then some. I also started yawning at about 25 minutes in and had visuals at under 30 minutes.

The come up was absolutely perfect! I was worried about that part, but what helped was having someone else there who I could talk to. It kept me occupied, as did cleaning up my alter right after taking the mushroom. I was hit by them very hard and very fast, but I didn't get the anxiety that I often do, because I had someone to keep me distracted. I highly recommend this approach on future trips of this type. Have someone there to keep you occupied on the way up, at least for the first hour.

I have to report at this point that I really do not remember as much of the experience as I would like to. I have a lot and I grew from it in ways that I could never put words to, but 60% of it is either already faded from memory (writing this less than a day after) or unenglishable.

One of my first occurrences during the journey was that I operate so differently than others, or I suppose I could turn that around and say that everyone operates on their own very unique wavelength. This was the first time that I had hung out with this sitter-friend in such a state or for such a duration of time, and it became clear to me very quickly that my life is so different than his. He takes mushrooms and other substances so vastly different than I do that I couldn't even compare what we got out of the medicine. I even came to wonder if he'd ever taken mushrooms on their own without alcohol, ketamine, MDA, or MDMA. It's not that I really judge him for that, because what he gets out of it seems like a lot of fun. But it's vastly different than what I get from mushrooms.

The fact that the sitter-friend and I were so different also became highlighted when I reached my peak and was desperate to connect to a human on the same wavelength. I'll get to that shortly though.

At the 1 hour mark I was definitely close to my peak, but I hadn't "broken through" yet. My friend had concerned me a bit about tolerance to mushrooms after having taken DMT. I have started using DMT quite regularly since my last big mushroom dose, and he mentioned that he felt that DMT had more affect on his tolerance than any other tryptamine. I question this, and really need to do more research into it, but at the 1 hour mark I decided that I wanted to go take a dab and hoped that this would push me right over the edge and into full hyperspace.

I think that it did--either that or soon after the 1 hour mark, the mushroom reached its full peak and I was within "Christ-Consciousness." I have only been there on three occasions, but yesterday night was absolutely one of them. It was really incredible. This, right now, being the first time that I've really looked back over it, it's quite overwhelming just writing about it.

I should mention a couple of things about the come up to that one hour point: First, I almost puked. I'd say that I was probably 70% there. It was between 10-30 minutes of eating/drinking the mushroom brew. I wasn't extremely nauseated or anything like that, but I did feel like my stomach might not be up for that dose. I ended up getting the trashcan ready just in case. I also got some toilet paper out for when cry-time started (which I knew it would, and sure as hell, it did).

Very quickly on the come up I also had a rapid temperature fluctuation. I started in a t-shirt, then at about 15 minutes I put on my hoodie, then I was still getting cold, then about five minutes later, I took the hood off, then unzipped, then took the entire hoodie off. I thought that I'd have these temperature fluctuations all the way up on the trip, but that didn't happen. It was just for about 10 minutes there in the very beginning.

And the last effect I want to mention about the come up is nothing new to me, but it was new to my sitter (so I'm grateful that I told him in advance that it would happen). It was the tremors that I so often get from mushrooms. They started at about 20-30 minutes in and continued at least to the one hour mark. During most of that time I was laying at the foot of the shrine, facing towards my sitter and talking to him. Most of it was moving my feet around and spasms in my legs. I could control them, but I took this to be a sign that the mushroom was indeed coming on strong.

Now, back to that breakthrough point of 1 hour and 15 minutes. I can only bring back so little of it. It was on par of the most powerful experience of my life. I was not afraid of it, but I was overwhelmed by it. That said, I had experienced something similarly as profound on one (possibly two) prior high-dose trips.

The heavy stuff happened when my mind started to wander to a killing that recently happened in a very nearby neighborhood. I live in a quiet town where that stuff doesn't really happen, but it did about four days ago. That was the day prior to when I had planned this trip. In short, there was a young cop (24 years old) who was talking to a guy about a domestic dispute, there wasn't any arguing or anything like that, but then when the officer asked to frisk the guy, he pulled out a gun and shot the cop over and over and over. The cop died, and the guy walked away and shot himself in the head. This all happened four days ago right near where I live, and it's affected me more than I would like to admit.

I was worried that the thoughts of that killing would come to mind during the trip, and they did at that breakthrough mark. I started crying really heavily. I couldn't make sense of it. I didn't understand why it happened like that. Why would that guy kill the cop if he was going to just kill himself right after? Ugh! It was really heavy. Also, I was on 6 grams of mushroom dust, so it was REALLY heavy. I cried really hard. I asked my sitter why it happened and he said he didn't know. I was really upset.

Then, this thing happened that's happened to me before on my first high dose trip (almost exactly a year ago from this one). I realized that I am and have always been every human being and every consciousness that has ever existed. I AM that guy who killed the cop, and I AM the cop who got killed. I sat before my alter, tears rolled down my face, and I closed my eyes. I watched the entire thing happen from both of their perspectives simultaneously. I could feel the emotion that they both felt, I could feel the desperation in that guy's mind after he'd killed the cop. Jesus… It was really heavy. I was crying heavily.

I looked over to my sitter who was lost in the glow of his laptop monitor. "Turn your fucking computer off. And turn off your god damn phone. Just look at me." He did. I looked in his eyes and it was more real than anything that I'd ever seen. I remembered why I tattooed an eye in my sleeve. You can see to the soul when you look into an eye. "Was the thing that happened to that cop fucked up?" I asked. My sitter nodded and said that it was. "Do you feel really upset about it?" He said he does--mentioned something about some people shouldn't have guns. "Do you know why it happened?" He didn't.

I told him then that he could go back to his laptop. This was around the time that my sitter lost his utility. He was worth 100% of the effort to arrange to have him there for the first 60 minutes of the trip. After that however, I realized that I could not connect to him in a way that I needed. I started asking him what time it is over and over. I felt like I was asking every 20 minutes, but every time he'd say that only about 3 or 5 minutes had past, which really didn't make sense to me, but I understood that I was tripping. I was obsessed with time because I wanted my little brother to get here. Even though little brother and I are vastly different, he's probably the person in my life right now who connect the most closely. As I waited, I also went through my mind of all the people who I could maybe call and talk to to talk about the cop and how upset I was about it and how I couldn't make any sense out of why it happened. I knew, all that time, that I realistically couldn't call anyone in the state of weeping that I was in, but it made me feel good to think about them all the same.

Between 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours was when the full epiphany breakthrough happened. I realized the things that I've seen before only on high-dose experiences. I saw how I am god in an undeniable way. I saw how everything in my life led up to this moment and that I was now a new being, that I'd never be the same, and that it was now my task to go forth into the world and live my life. I understood how as well as why I differ from others. I saw that this was the most important moment in the history of my life or possibly ever. It was only less overwhelming than before because I had seen it before. This is not to say that it was a been-there-done-that experience at all, but I almost could expect this, or I had something--some sort of frame work--to compare it to. I wish that more of it could be put into words, but it cannot.

I came down very quickly, and it was probably at the 2.5-3 hour mark. I stopped my clock at 5 hours and 5 minutes, but I'd felt relatively "sane" for about an hour leading up to that. I don't know if I would have wanted to drive anywhere during that time, but I wasn't "tripping" really.

The visuals that I experienced during the trip are hard to describe. When I would look at my friend's eyes, his eyes were always normal (though a lot more intense) but his hair and face and the rest of him was changed, although I can't really explain how. My little brother was similarly different, but I couldn't 100% say how. This also applied to my surroundings and my dog during the trip--it was all changed, or I could see it differently, but I cannot put words to how it was changed.

I asked several times toward the come down what date it was and how old I was. It seemed that this was the most important day of my entire life--everything had been leading up to now, and I needed to remember this somehow. I kind of wish that it could have been on the new year for that reason, but that's okay. It was still magical in ways that even I can't understand.

What I would like to take away from this trip in terms of application to my next journeys of high dose is the following: Try to clean your diet the day prior to the trip; you don't need to fast, but do eat clean and light. Be sure to stay active and busy the day prior. I think the day prior may be almost as important as the day of. On the day of, do exercise heavily in the morning, do meditate right after, do avoid breakfast more than liquid or a very light bowl of oats. Have a massage booked too--they're a bit expensive, but worth every penny if they put you in a good mind-space right before the trip. I would like to take them just a little bit later if possible (no more than 1 hour before sunset) so that it's dark for the actual breakthrough. I do want to have someone there or some means of staying occupied for the first 45-60 minutes. After that, if I'm going to have someone there, then it needs to be someone close who understands me well. I had Xanax sitting out on my night stand too in case I needed it; that may have helped calm me, just knowing that it was there.

That is about all that I would like to bring back from my experience last night. I hope to reach such a state of enlightenment again soon. It was almost 6 months between my last two large-dose trips. I can see a great deal of utility in having these once a month.

This has always fascinated me. so can relate to this. That feeling of being " all " and " everything and everyone " It really is an amazing feeling.

Thanks for the report, I enjoyed the read.

Happy new year.

Yes! As ultimately, there is only one of us existent. I state this with the caveat that in relative terms, there are obviously countless beings manifested inside of this physical paradigm we cohabitate within, collectively so, on myriad levels of vibrational frequencies of mortal sentience and vastly diverse degrees of human consciousness. But on higher planes of consciousness... we instinctively know that each and every epicenter, of every form of life (not just mankind), is fundamentally the same force and the same essence. I feel that our entire lives enacted upon this material plane are like unto tiny fibers woven within an immeasurable tapestry of conscious-awareness, all of us symbiotic threads seamlessly united in the grand scheme of things.

The Omniself (Brahman or The Supreme Being) generates an infinity of existential parameters and so, while appearances perceived by way of said generation, create stratification, division and diversity... but in quintessence, we are all still one. Our deepest core is Divine principle in nature. Existentially, we actually ARE each other. We are the same indivisible Spirit Dancer, the same Christ consciousness incarnated dimensionally into an infinity of realms, born of dichotomy and multiple of shades of seeming polarity. Oh the sheer paradox!!! And yet, despite how the duality of Maya makes such insistent demands upon our quite uniquely personal mind-sets and very individuated dreamscapes (themselves, bubbling out of nothingness)... we are Buddhas awakening to our natural state. Touching the face of God, only to find that it is our own. It has been all along!

It could be said that the Absolute truth remains, that in purely spiritual terms, there is really only one of us here, after all. No self and no other. Just the same I Am awakening from a kind of dream/mesmerism, that defiantly pulses within all that appears "real"... and so, freely dances throughout this vast cosmos, itself a miracle in the making. We shimmer and glow luminously, exploding anew as blindingly bright points of awareness, sparkling symmetrically within the Unified Field of Being. Our interconnection is a truly magnificent symphony to perceive of and one to heartily celebrate!


Nope, you are most correct, my friend. Sooooooo much of the transcendental merging of oneself into Godself, defies any quantifiable descriptives, whatsoever. But what we can remember and bring back to ponder over and discuss, is sadly diluted when put into dualistic human linguistics. The bulk of the insights are non-verbal and oddly inexplicable to the rational mind. For the isolated individual stands in a sort of mirrored juxtaposition to the immeasurable Oneness. Only when the mind stops and the soul interphases within the Omniversal, can any inkling dawn. And I wholeheartedly share your enthusiasm and dedication to your spiritual path. May your realization endlessly bloom and exponentially so at that!


My humble advise is to NOT put any formula to planning your further Sacred Journeys. Do, however, listen intently and unwaveringly to your own inner voice. One simply cannot put such immersions in accordance with any schedule or for that matter, anticipate with any fixed expectation of any repeat performances of this magnitude. The other side of the coin is that if we do not seek... we will not discover or grow.

IMO, we each receive the teachings needed when we are ready for them. And that's never subject to the compression of the separated, ego-self's limited realm of humanoid understanding. I've learned to trust my mind's heart and accept it's prompting without reservation. From my small understanding, it seems that within each of us is a vortexial fulcrum of the Spiritus, echoed and reflected from beyond the impermanence of one's ego and from way deep down inside, gloriously blooming effulgently. Just let your love-light shine!

Ours is a process of remembrance and re-discovery. Ironically, there is nothing to achieve or attain. We only need to shift our attention, bring to focus and wholly embrace a clarity of vision; come to understand that we are already free, already at home. Arriving where we've always been, right here & now. And where exactly are we, here & now? I believe that the present is the perfection of this living moment. Ergo, this is on a profound level, the only moment. When seen it it's most genuine guise, as a formless and limitless pause in eternity (one which is free of the constraints of the sequential mirage of the time-space-continuum).

Sure, so much we experience is unreal and yeah, illusion abounds all about our senses. But this too, is the ineffable presence of the Godhead, looking out through our transient eyes at itself. We are the cause of our own being and our only purpose, is to simply be. And inarguably, this requires an immense personal surrender and an unfaltering devotion to one's ecstasies and epiphanies.

I've always believed that such Spirit Flights are ones that need to be embarked upon with the deepest of respect for the Sacred Plant Teachers and an almost reverential degree of faithfulness to the lessons imparted therein. You might find yourself undergoing further psychedelic voyages once a week, once a month, twice a year, once a year, every five years or even every few decades. Time has absolutely nothing to do with these magikal, mysterious things. In other words, when the timing is right, you'll know it from the very core of your infinite soul. Thanx sooooooo very much for sharing your profound experience with us all, here at the Nexus. I guess I am saying, in other words, that you totally rock!!!
Namaste, ScientificMethod.

Great report my friend, I really enjoyed it, wish you the best in the future.

^Thank you, good sir.

I'm planning my next one this weekend out in nature (only 2.5 grams) but I do intend to report back

The feedback's much appreciated!

I'm curious, have you ever tried psilocybe semilanceata? i consumed 80 of those and got a common experience as you, I want to know how much 6 grams dried hawaiian is compared to that dose, because I had waves of healing, like getting lifted out of your body transferred into a frequency that only gives you love, it was outstanding..

I could feel a sense of telepathy with my friend and a understanding of myself and the world in a hole new way, it would be absurd to understand the experience true an sober state of mind i think,, any thoughts?

I've only ever worked with cubenses, but I've worked with a vast variety of them--about 8 varieties so far. I mainly only consume Hawaiians now though because I like to control as many variables as possible. I've tried growing zapatacorum, but they wouldn't fruit. I'd heard that those are supposedly "more spiritual," but to be honest I don't know. I get plenty out if cubenses and do not feel the need to expand beyond there any time soon. And as far as different varieties of cubes go, I'm a believer that " a cube is a cube is a cube."

Yes! This is it! Always was and always will be...
There is only ONE.
This ONE is the ultimate paradox of uncomprehending proportions. You can only experience this and as you do you know the real LOVE. You are pure love since ˝you˝ EXCEPT everything and that allows it to come into existence for you to experience your self from perspective that gives illusion that there is out there when in reality it is all IT. Mushrooms will always be in my heart as the first and most powerful tool that has helped me to see trough my illusion of separation and ego existence.
It is all a beautiful game of exploration...forgetting and remembering how ineffable your true nature really is.

If you're looking for something else to try, that is easy to be successful with, why not try sclerotia? Aka "philosopher's stones" or "magic truffles".

Side benefits:

1. It is possible to take a portion of each grow, or the remainder of each grow, and practice fruiting it until you are successful. Thus you will experience minimal losses due to failure, while still achieving results each time.

2. It is the easiest stealth grow.

If you have room for some mason jars out of sight somewhere, like a drawer or a chest, you're good to go. No misting, fanning, light arrangement, or fruiting chambers required. (Still need PC and SAB though.) I don't know why people are recommended to start with this first, honestly. The process seems easier and even more foolproof than PF Tek cubes.

If interested, research "Mexicana A" and "Mexicana ATL #7".

Hello there, I'm checking in as you just to confirm that this is the truth, I am you

^At least I'm not the only one who knows