Date: 15 November 2014

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Anxious, not fearful, somewhat nervous
Setting (physical location): My bedroom (first indoor experience like this)
time of day: 3pm
last meal: 12:00--microwaved egg white and ham sandwich

PARTICIPANT
Gender: (male)
body weight: (175lb)

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): DMT
Dose(s): 25mg
Method of administration: GVG

EFFECTS
Administration time: Unknown
Duration: 20 minutes
First effects: 15 seconds (quicker than normal)
Peak: Unknown
Come down: 5-7 minutes
Baseline: 25-30 minutes

Intensity (overall): 6/10 (?)

Assessment
Pleasantness: (3/4)
Unplesantness: (2/4)
Visual Intensity: (?/4)


REPORT
This will be the report that I cannot speak of not for the reason that there are no words, but because I genuinely don't remember it. As soon as I was aware enough to speak I'd lost it, but I do want to report the little pieces that I can bring back as a means by which to document my first ten experiences.

I used the GVG and only 25mg of DMT, but this was the first time that I've done so indoors. I've used the D pen indoors on a few occasions, but I've never really taken a big hit of spice indoors prior to today. I would have done an outdoor session, but it was quite cold outside--every day the temperature has been dropping, and it was just too cold today for it to be reasonable. That, combined with the fact that I would be going up there alone, made me fairly copacetic to sitting at the edge of my bed and taking the hit.

I planned to sit up during the entire thing, but I did not do so. I have this tendency to fall back if the dose is high enough, and 40mg seems to normally be the rough threshold. This was almost a half of that, so I didn't suspect as much as I got.

The thing is though that I really don't remember this one. This is the first trip that I've come out of that I fully have lost almost all memory, but I want to document that that's not because of my lack of getting it on the page; its that I could not and did not live there at that time.

The first things I said on my post-trip recording was, "I barely remember what happened. This was my first time being inside." I started talking at about 10-13 minutes after taking the hit.

I had just a bit of trouble pulling the pipe--I believe that the screens needed to be replaced, which I did after the trip. This however did not prevent me from getting the full hit. I actually found it much easier to hit the pipe inside when I'm not having to deal with the wind and the November cold. So I partly wonder if this caused the trip to be more intense--the efficacy of using the pipe indoors causing me to get the full effects.

I don't remember how long I held the hit; this was the first of my memory to go. I know that I held it for quite awhile. I could have held it for just a bit longer, but it was getting up there in time. But it was like a blanket being laid over me, and then I was there.

I was still sitting up at this point. I had my eyes closed, but very quickly I became aware of "creatures" around me. It was like they were here in the "real world" with me, and if I'd only have opened my eyes, I would have seen these creatures slithering around the room. I wasn't necessarily afraid of these things, but it was alarming and it made me not want to open my eyes.

They were all striped and checkered--just like the walls of the chrysanthemum always are patterned.

At about that point it started to get a bit heavy, and I remember telling myself that if it gets to be too much I can just fall back, so I did. I noticed that even though I fell back to where the creatures were, I didn't feel them when I fell back.

I barely remember any of it.

I remember thinking that the visions behind my closed eyes were very clear, but I don't remember the content of the visions--only the internal dialogue that said, "wow… that's really clear." This makes absolutely no sense to me, but being that I've spent some time with the substance, it isn't a complete surprise.

The song that was playing changed at the 3 minute mark, and I remember thinking that, "well, that's three minutes… why am I still going so hard?" I ended up going pretty heavy for another 3-4 minutes after that. I ended up going and going and going through the entirety of the next song and into a third when I expected to be coming out on the start of the second song.

"It all just happened and then it's gone… what happened. I mean I knew what happened, but I didn't know what happened within it."

Unquestionably, this was the hardest of my DMT trips to date to recall.

Tomorrow will be my tenth.

I've had a bunch of trips where I had amnesia, and only remember pArts after going back into hyperspace the next day. I feel you on this - it happens.

One thing I'd offer is to imagine what happened, as if you could remember. You may spark a true memory, and even false memories can be learned from.