I’ve been curious about DMT since I first heard about it in high school. Back then I had lots of experiences with mushrooms, the crap high schoolers would call LSD and was lucky enough to score some genuine mescaline once. DMT became to me the mythic trip that I would never be able to experience because I had no idea how to obtain it. This was the early days of the internet. AOL and BBSes were where it was at. So since that time and up to the present, I read what I could find about this substance.
Then nearly two decades later, it finally happened. This slightly yellowish powder, smelling like a pair of new sneakers came into my possession. Now, I’m not the idiot I was in high school. I’ve gone through a couple of bad trips to give me some respect for psychedelics. So, I started doing research on how best to go on this journey, and it lead me to this fine community here. I learned that you’re all fans of the Glass Vapor Genie, I need to get a good torch lighter and have a good bed to lay the stuff onto. I went with cutting the Volcano Liquid Pad to fit. Well, you guys were right. Boy, you guys were right.
I wanted to ease into it because I didn’t really know what to expect. I mean really expect. You can read about the experience from thousands of different people, but I knew that nothing I read would matter after I’ve finished inhaling. I measured 15 mg and placed it into the vaporizer. I lit my lighter and started. I inhaled until the fog disappeared from the GVG and held my breath. I don’t remember ever exhaling or putting the pipe down, but my toe was undeniably dipped.
6 minutes had passed. I only loss my sense of time and physical being briefly. I had my eyes closed and saw trillions of colorful dots. Each dot was twirling in sharp geometric patterns. The dots moved so fast that it would sometimes blur and become solid colors. I had the sense that each shape was a blade of some cosmic blender trying to rip me apart. Trillions of blades in this ego grinder. Sometimes I could feel fear starting to creep in and the colors would change, but I reassured myself and the colors would turn to bright white. It was warm like the sun; the warmth made me wanted to melt into the earth and decay. It was so peaceful. This whole time, I could hear a sound. Sometimes it was a low frequency pulsing. Sometimes it was the sound aum.
It wasn’t scary, but I could see how if I let my negative emotions seep through (and they were trying to seep through) I would’ve had a bad experience. Now, when I say bad experience, I don’t mean like a bad hit of LSD. No, I mean the complete obliteration of every fiber of me being.
Everything happened so fast that there was little time for introspection. What I did manage to take away from it was that I’m not quite ready for a breakthrough. I think it was trying to tell me to just die already. I was trying to tell myself I'm ok, just die. I got the sense that it didn't care whether or not I was ok. It was almost like it was saying, come on die already so we can get this train moving. I also realize I could just be projecting motives where there are none. My dosage wasn’t large enough for it to drag me kicking and screaming into the blender. I still have too much fear about letting go.
Thank you all for reading!