I just tried enhanced leaf (i made electric sheep blend) for the second time and i'm not sure if i've broken through or not. My first attempt with it ended with me just feeling surrounded by warmth, I kept my eyes closed for the most part. I know I didn't break through with through with this attempt since I barely packed any in there, but I felt like something was coccooning me into wherever I would end up. Each hit I felt the warmth was growing, so I wanted to keep going but couldn't since I didn't pack enough. The glimpses of my room when I opened my eyes made it look like everything was dancing and full of warmth and love.

My second try I just decided to keep smoking it and smoking it (changed pieces from spoon pipe to small bubbler). I took about two hits and when I was going to start my third I flicked my bic and the next thing I knew my room was 2D and cel-shaded and a lot of it reminded me of one of those Mondrian paintings. I was so scared and alone. Everything looked like it was suctioned, and my posters were flat against my wall (normally they're hanging) and the poster prints lost their form, but had the colors arranged (i can't even make words to describe this). My entire room felt like it lost it's life (like how most rooms have a certain "air" about them, this time the air was gone) and I wasn't welcome there. My legs were covered with blankets when I smoked, and it looked like it was vacuum sealed to me, but still had this...shape to it, like polygons for 3d imaging, and the things in my room within reach (a pencil, my phone, and an mp3 player) seemed like they were just plastic molds of their former selves. Anyway, everything was just so void and empty, but I still felt a presence of sorts but my only way to describe it is as an embodiment of loneliness which I couldn't see but could feel. The entire time I was worried something would open my door, which was just a blank slab of tan against my wall at this point.

I decided to stop smoking after that because I was just horrified and felt like it didn't want me to be there. Being stuck in a world like that for a short time seemed like one thing, but the isolation made me feel empty and want to leave. So I closed my eyes and told myself it's just a drug and then I felt a bit better, but I still didn't open them until the CEVs were gone completely.

Was that a breakthrough? One on hand I feel like it wasn't since I'm still asking if it was, but on the other, I just can't wrap my brain around it. My biggest question is why it felt like my hand was being held the entire time the first time smoking, but the second time there was just nothing. I felt so comfortable the first time and want to go back to that space, I don't want to go back to where I just was.

This is experience made me feel a bit ambivalent towards breaking through for some reason. I really want to face/experience that warmth again, but at the same time I'm terrified of feeling isolated.

To me it sounds like a dose that could've lead do a breakthrough, had you let go. I know me saying that doesn't help much but I spent around 2 months thinking I was letting go before I really realised there's lots of small little things you can do which keep you anchored such as thinking about the things you're seeing. As soon as you've hit that changa just lay back, smile and try and just focus on the moment, focus on your breathing. Just let everything cease to exist, You will come back!

Maybe try experimenting with a lower more comfortable dose for a while and figure out how you can work your way deeper into the experience without upping the dose. (for me this involves keeping my eyes peeled for entrances to portals and focusing on them when I find them among other things)

hey

sounds like you almost broke through. you stood at the doormat with the knob in your hand but did not turn it.

the discomfort maximises at this point, but completely vanishes when you opened the door.

take some time, think about what you experienced, try again.

good luck

I'll say from experience not all breakthroughs are not "good" or "nice". Make sure you can play nice with the universe at lower doses before you try again. It can get really nasty out there. Thats the cold hard truth my friend.

Keep experimenting - I've now smoked DMT ~30 times, from 15-80 mgs and I feel like I'm still a novice at it. For me, I'm still working on the balance between breaking through and going so far out that when I return I cannot remember where I was and what happened. It takes time to stabilize your experience and depth of your dive into hyperspace. Don't be frustrated that you cannot dial it in after 4 or even 10 tries.

Pile of Cats has advised you really well, IMO. Try to make the most out of the least DMT. Stabilize your smoking technique. No joke, I am practicing a DMT-kata, combing my breath, my bong, and my lighter in the correct dance. I've made big strides - 32 mg I just did today felt like 55 mg I did last month.

As mentioned above, there are levels to the experience. This is why changa is recommended for many people...because you can gradually work up to the breakthrough instead of having it hit your head all at once.

For me personally, I have broken through a good number of times, and have noticed that the room begins to change right before the breakthrough happens (if I'm slowly working into it). Of course, if it's all in one big hit it's like a rocket launches you into the experience.

To me, my phone and pipe begin to look like toys. That's the best way I can describe it. Above that, the room is gone. Now, working into it slowly is probably best for beginners because you will reach a lower breakthrough experience where you breakthrough for a few minutes then come back down.

With regard to the sources of irritation which prevented further dosing. When you're first starting out, you want to control your environment. It's very important. Because you don't want to freak out over potential scenarios during all this. My plan of attack is to go in my room and deep breathe until I feel relaxed and ready for it. My calm environment is my bedroom, where I feel safest. Once you have explored hyperspace some more, you'll feel more at ease with branching out into other places.

I'm guessing you didn't break through, by the fact that you said you decided not to take another hit. Once you have broken through, you will no longer be able to, because you can't move. I think that's a good litmus test when trying to figure out if you've broken through. Ask yourself, 'can I physically lift my arm to take another hit?' And if the answer is yes, you haven't broken through yet.