This trip happened a few weeks ago. I feel compelled to talk about it now, perhaps because it was of a different order.
It was the second 35mg vaped session, of an evening. The first was very plesant, and before I went to sleep I wanted to blast off again. A double (or more) journey is something that I do a lot, mainly because the fear the first time round is crippling. And I have often got more profound lessons in multiple journeys, when it has been easier to look beyond the light show.
After vaping and laying back, the usual crescendoing whiz transported me to my familiar festival of visual language under a fluorescent sky. A lot of the detail is now lost because of the time passed since that night, but something very strange happened.
I was lying on my back (in hyperspace) and was being manipulated, probed or squashed by what felt like a very powerful entity. I can't remember what he looked like. He literally had his hands inside me and seemed to be playing with my insides. Other entities looked on from a distance nonchalantly. They seemed to respect or perhaps fear this gargantuan. I wasn't afraid, I didn't feel shock, I didn't feel joy, I felt neutral, perhaps a little wonder at the absurdity of what was happening, but then I wasn't me anymore.
I suddenly became aware of my 'real' body, the one that I had just left behind. My leg must have involuntarily twitched. It felt like my bed had broken and my legs merged with the fabric of my mattress. I felt squashed. But it wasn't unpleasant.
I suddenly felt an urge to open my eyes, which i did, for a split second. I saw my room, and the usual melting of flourecent information breaking through everything, then I became concerned that I might have just broken connection to something special. So I closed them again. And I was back there again.
And so this went on. It felt like a long time. Probing, prodding and squashing. And neutrality. After a while the distantly observing entities seemed to take more of an interest. They almost found it funny. And were surprised. Some grabbed the attention of others and seemed to say 'Wow. They usually can't handle it for that long.'
Then I became a pig.
Not physically. And I don't mean to say pig in a judgemental way. But the only way I can explain the way that I felt at that moment is 'pig like'. Wide eyed, squashed, neutral, a little vacant.
I carried this feeling with me on the way up, and somewhere along the way it dawned on me that this is what a pig feels like. The modus operandi, if you like.
Looking back on it it was extremely weird. And almost a joke.
About a week later, I had a very vivid dream about a couple of pigs. There was a big one, and a baby one. I loved the big one instantly. He was so special to me. He felt like a child of mine. And we could communicate. I somehow ended up adopting the pig and saving him from death. Upon waking I was left with the impression that the pig was me.
I suppose I could analyse and rationalise the hell out of this experience. But whenever I do I feel like laughing.
I love to hear your thoughts.
Much Love <3 xx