Yesterday marked the completion of my first extraction. It also marked my first steps into hyperspace. I've done some heavy doses of mushrooms (20+g) and acid (10hits), but never had the opportunity to venture into the realm of spice.
After finishing the scraping and gathering of the spice, I spent a few hours contemplating what was about to occur. I will readily admit that I was rather nervous. Certain things in life call for a measure of caution and personal evaluation before diving in. I tried to clear my head as much as possible and when I thought I was ready, I measured out the spice.
I quickly realized my scale just is not adequate. It goes to two decimal points, but seems woefully inaccurate at very low weights. A new scale will be making an appearance in my very near future. Anyway I think it was about 20-30mg that I loaded into my GVG. With some apprehension I sat on the edge of my bed, taking some deep breaths to not only stretch my lungs out a bit, but also to attempt to calm myself and get centered.
The lighter flared and I felt the vapor hit my throat like a metal rasp. Since I don't smoke anything, my virgin throat was not quite ready for this new sensation. I was able to hold the coughs at bay, filled my lungs for about 15 seconds and exhaled.
A wave of light-headedness ran through me, followed by a high-pitched whine like tinnitus which I'm quite accustomed to from my psilocybin journeys. I lay back on my bed, closed my eyes and let it unfold. I was in utter blackness then a kaleidoscopic wall of pastel colored stained glass field my entire field of view. The colors started to become more vivid and I could see that the wall was in a constant state of transformation. Pieces rearranged themselves into new configurations. Between waves of wonder I thought to myself that I should try to move past this, but couldn't. I could get closer, but not past. As I approached I could start to make out that the wall was fractal in nature, not only did it encompass all space and time, but it was also infinitely detailed as I could see evermore intricate panes of color in between the larger ones. Again I was dumbfounded by the beauty before me until the wall started to recede from view.
When I was back to the normal reddish blackness of my closed eyes I opened them, looking up at the ceiling my room for what felt like an eternity. I knew this had been but the first step down what could only be a very long road in my life. As I lay absorbing the experience I knew I had only seen a mere glimpse, a tantalizing preview of what was to come. I waited about an hour and loaded the GVG again, this time with 50-60mg.
As I drew in the vapor, my throat really let me know just how unprepared it was for this. I took the first hit and it burned. I couldn't hold the cough back this time and after a few seconds it happened. I waited a moment and took another hit, bigger this time and tried as hard as I could to hold it in as long as possible. My throat won the battle after another 15 seconds. With my throat feeling like it was flayed, the lightness of being started to creep up my body so I put the pipe down and lay back. Stifling small coughs as much as possible.
Almost immediately I was back at the kaleidoscopic wall. For a moment I was amazed. With no other drug experience have I been plunged black in exactly where I had last been. The implications of this started to roil in my mind, but then the wall changed. It started with the same pastel, washed out colors as before, but as the tinnitus whine got louder and louder, the colors became evermore saturated until they glowed with such intensity as to be small spotlights. Again: utter amazement. I lay immobilized by the beauty in front of me. Then the tears started to flow. The beauty and magnificence of what I was beholding was simply too much. I have been moved by artworks before. Paintings and sculptures have stopped me dead in my tracks and demanded my attention. They paled in comparison to what I was seeing. I approached the wall with the intention of moving past it, but as I got closer, I got lost in the intricacy of it's workings. The closer I got, the more it stretched out in front of me as the levels of detail just kept going on and on.
Something inside me said that now is not the time, just revel in what it here and now. I stopped trying to push past and lay there, tears streaming down my face, taking in as much of the scene as I could so that maybe next time I could bypass the wonder and amazement and move past this wall.
As the wall receded again I could feel the burning of my throat and felt somewhat ashamed. I should have taken it slower. Yes, I want to break through, but I should have listened to my body more. Given it more time between doses. Paid the substance at hand more respect and reverence. The dimensions beyond our earthly one aren't going anywhere, so I shouldn't be in such a rush. The kaleidoscopic wall will let me pass when the time is right.