Ive been fascinated with all things spiritual since my astral travels as a young child.
Recent chaotic events in my life sent me down the rabbit hole and awakened latent abilities to sense that were dormant for years.
Back in May,2012 i had a nervous breakdown and was turned on to LSD. The trips kindled some inner passion in me, and I started having strange sensations in my body,electrical pulses, my forehead vibrating. Suddenly I was able to astral travel again, though not voluntarily yet. I started attending a yoga class and during one I had a 'freakout' where i felt hot lava shooting up and down my body and I was catatonic for awhile. None of the staff knew what to do and i was brought to a psyche ward. By the time I was seen i was 'normal' ...sorta...but the psychiatrist who saw me believed I was bipolar and put me on all sorts of drugs. I refused to take them and when I was released I continued to do yoga alone,afraid to be in public.
Things began to come alive ,my visions seemed super high def, just like the lsd...reality popped...and for about three months I was in a manic state of bliss:
I could not work or do anything except be in awe...fits of laughing,crying..intense visions of God, feelings of reverence for everyone and everything. I packed my bags and went into the mountains to fast and meditate. During this time i was in the medicine state fully...i did not sleep nor eat much...everything was flowing with patterns, my body was morphing , covered in
Shifting and fast moving symbols and images of gods,demons, and things that don't even fit into my current vocabulary.
Somehow i came down the mountain after some locals had seen me and brought me food. I was near death when they found me. I ended up in the psyche ward again, but this time I actually met a doctor who knew something about mystical revelations.
He did not discount my story fully, and asked me that I start journalling my experiences and he gave me some grounding exercises to do. I began biofeedback therapy and learned how to control the surges and racing thoughts.
Ever since the mountain experience, i was unable to reproduce the same intensity of perceptual changes without using LSD.
But life ,in general, was quite more enhanced....very magical.
But my hectic life could not allow for these 10 hour excursions all the time.
Somehow at a summer festival, i was introduced to DMT in extracted form. It blew me away, sending me off into that place on the mountain, where reality was no longer a fixed notion about space or existence, but a morphing entity that breathed and emanated light energy. I was given a gram of nice yellow fluff to smoke by myself during my meditation sessions.
Every sunday night I would prepare the room with burning cedar and sage and then light a candle and dim the lights.
Then I would blast off into this place...that I still cannot put words to...and everytime the trip is different. No matter how far i go, or how visual the trip is....its like i am aware, fully...a level of knowing that is unshakable.
Recently I've become friends with a ferdado in a Santo Daime church and We have done 'works' together, although I have not actually had Daime yet.
My recent experiences- the mountain trip, the lsd trips, the dmt ....has left me feeling isolated and disconnected from everything
Yet so connected at the same time. I come hear with more questions than anything...to be a part of a community where I can
Share and not be ridiculed. I don't know where to go with this now...a part of me feels like i just opened pandoras box and should have left it alone. In many ways I feel like I should have never played with yoga or taken lsd nor dmt, that i shud have got on some xanax and
Went about normal life, like what most normal people do when they breakdown.
Okay folks, thanks for reading all this!
Sorry if it got abit long.
Have a great day
