Preface to the experience
Adam and Eve is a story of you and I, as well as everyone else. We were all born from the garden; Earth, and guided by a voice outside of ourselves, that of which separates us from the Garden, Mother Nature, into a system of thought that controls our actions. That voice inhabits the mind of everyone. Eating the fruit is a metaphor for buying into what others believe as how we should behave toward our environment. With this understanding, which is expanded in Nag Hammadi scriptures (Lost Gospels Of Jesus Christ, and more), I am able to understand esoteric meanings in a much more conventional perspective.
The Experience Simplified:
"This is it. You are now dead. Everything you knew is gone for eternity." From this point forward, I was faced with my traumas, to feel, to know, to understand those who hurt me, to only see they were hurt as well; passing on the wheel. The dad who abused me. The mother who abandoned me. The man who made me take off my clothes, touch me in ways I had never imagined, frozen as an empty vessel: Why am I here again? "Because you aren't just you, you are also him." I AM NOT HIM! - Suddenly, through the pain and misery, I understood him. He was a victim, of many situations that took away his innocence. Was it his fault for this? Was it my fault? No. We are as we are, and without understanding this stream of life that flows through us, we are oblivious to each other and feel loathing sensations, feel loving sensations. My spirit is of his spirit, entwined as reality. His pain is my pain: "I love you." "I forgive you." Why? "I am you." Who are you? "You are I." Well then, who am I?
The Vision:
An Inkly Black takes over me, no more James, no more Earth. Out of nothing: Tiny universes explode! These Tiny Universes: Particles in our perspectives, combined together in rotation, opposing each other's movement, creating shape as an effect. These Universes came through the fabric of life: Space. Space as a hyper-dimension invisible to our eyes, but fully fluid. I became witness as the fabric. These particles are being born out of implosions of other existences. They come through, mix with this space, creating multiple versions of movement, of signatures. Before I can even think about it, I have infinite shapes of rocks, rolling through my body, infinite sizes of energy, exploding from vast amounts of space to tiny minute amounts of space, creating and destroying itself simultaneously, in yoctoseconds, all the way to lightyears.
All of this Chaos, compacted together, parallel universes; parallel particles, colliding as solid objects, into one, of many: Earth. The sun being a mega particle. Attracting these objects in different signatures of solar waves; electromagnetic radiation. The galactic center being an atomic center, and it's solar systems as giant-particles. Our galactic center being an ultra-particle, rotating around a much larger field with parallel galactic centers. Etc. onward: I went from nothing to everything to nothing to everything to nothing, only to reveal, "This is it! It's It!" Nothing is everything; Everything is nothing! I lived, I died, I lived, I died, endlessly, as me, only to be myself again, as you, as them, as all. The big bang and big crunch happened over and over again, beginningless, endingless. As I come back, I realize, we are all God, zoomed into his self as a self, to change even the smallest movement, orchestrated by the greatest.
The Conclusion:
Every choice is the choice of a much larger fluidity beyond anything we can ever comprehend, yet do as it corresponds directly together: interrelated; interconnected. As I learn to be human again, I see geometry and colors interloping my perception, in all directions. This is what I am; You. This is what you are; I. We are here, as it is all now. So no longer did I see God as a Man in the sky watching me, instead, the all encompassing space that surrounds us, in every location, in every thought, in every movement, in every sense that takes place. Mother: Nature. Father: Space. Child: Perspective. As one: The Holy Trinity; the infinite journey of what is.
The Summary:
Chaos, the natural beauty of existence. As we are led to believe this is order, it's far from it, thus allowing for us to be as random as we are in behavior: The Illusion Of Freewill.