I compulsively post from time to time
Posts: 1123 Joined: 27-Apr-2011 Last visit: 16-Jan-2024
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followed a voice in my head which said i need to go to bed getting increasingly agitated with voices which are turning negative on me more and more lately negative feelings overcome me it pisses me off went to sleep for an hour or so. maybe less. I lied in bed satisfied until i lost consciousness. had a very hard time waking up from this one. did not feel rested at all. only increasingly tired. can not remember the dreams until about the end where i woke myself up from very negative thought-patterns. insecure self-hatred. insecurity towards other people. a song played during this all: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHP4VbhtGJ4 . Some kind of power tripping by Disney's evil villain, Scar. as soon as i realized and felt bad for the negativity. decided demonic posession , tis song played; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BZp2dxpwF8it said : "I want to be.. Part of ur worldd... " .. I guess it made me smile a little bit when i thought about it. Certainly lessened my anger. Felt sympathy towards a demon. Absolutely convinced that anger will only worsen my problem. I plan on engaging in conversation with this 'demon' in my lucid dreams.Problem is that it excerts control over me in non-lucids and I usually fall unconscious during the night. How this started is that I let it enter my heart.. literally in a state of generosity. I saw it falling outside of the depths of hell. It went straight for my heart and forcefully dug a hole inside it and stole my "prana" / breathe as soon as it entered. It is small and not very strong. But yet, to me. It is much bigger than me spiritually. But deep down it fears me. It will not unattach from me. I know it sounds psychotic. And it kind of is. But it is a real experience to me and i need to deal with it. Certainly not going to talk to a shrink or anything. And to be honest. I am hesistant to take Ayahuasca. I tried to do chakra work today to cast out this demon. I guess that brought it back in reverse. Woke up from this dream doing chakra work. Felt energy travel through my spin into my third eye and back into my abdomen area. Loved it. Wish to learn more about it.. Woulden't mind of someone more knowledgable would chime in here and give me advise. Still, my goal is to converse with this 'demon. Each time I see it's presence I see it as benign in nature. Atleast I keep thinking this way. It is just increasingly difficult and is now influencing my life to the negative. Also.. I get the feeling that it is out to get me on smoked DMT. This thing is what is keeping me from letting go. I keep fearing that it will take me over and posess me of sorts. Help is appreciated. Also somethimes get some sort of tentacles on DMT that are sucking my energy or something. I do not like it when it happens because it is counterproductive, i just feel bad about myself afterwards just like in this dream. And i don't remember anything about the experience. So nothing instructional either. It is just feeding on my negativity. When i asked the tentacle thing to leave it replied with a blatant "no" .... ^This one might be much older than the small one i took home from DMT. Chakra work? Really interested in Chakra work but can't find valuable information, tbh. Might do some research then make another thread about chakras for everyone to enjoy.
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Posts: 6739 Joined: 13-Apr-2009 Last visit: 10-Apr-2022
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I hope you can find peace.
That does not sound ok.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 4733 Joined: 30-May-2008 Last visit: 13-Jan-2019 Location: inside moon caverns
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the Idea of Spirit Posession is very, VERY common among different cultures. I have researched this stuff a while ago while ago. First of all, i want to say that it is what it is: An IDEA, a concept. But then, this does not help at all, if you are living in a culture which does not really have a solution for this kind of situation. There are basically two overaching ways to deal with it. One is exorcism, casting out the bad spirit. The other one is what de Heusch called "Adorcism". It means that you can try to communicate with the spirit and potentially integrate it into your life in a meaningful way. From a anthropological standpoint, psychiatry is a form of excorcism. First, it reduces the spirit to a symbol of it's domain. It's no longer some kind of entity, but a syndrome, with potential biological cause which is treatable with some kind of substance. This drug is the "spell of medicine" to cast out the demon. If you do not suffer from extreme, life threatening delusions, i would try to ask your demon first what it wants. No really. You don't know if it is really a bad spirit or what's the deal with it. Does it have any demands? Does it want you to do things? It seems to me, that your situation is rather unclear at the moment. Perhaps it is willing to help you in exchange for being a part of your life?
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 232 Joined: 13-Apr-2009 Last visit: 19-Sep-2017
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Oh man, what did you get yourself into this time ? Hehe, first thing first. Relax....take a deep break... your going to be ok I've been through a similar situation, I'm still debating whether or not what I experienced was real, but I will share my insight. When I went through my experience with possession I spoke with a witch. Not in person mind you but it seemed like a much better alternative then a doctor. What she told me is that these things feed on your negative emotions and bad habits. Also that I needed to purify my living area. Look deep inside your self, do you have any mental weaknesses? Addictions, that sort of thing? I had many vices myself, and it was something I had to get rid of. You can "purify" your living area by changing its appearance. Fresh coat of paint/ect/ect/ect Some incense helps. “I am that gadfly which God has attached to the state, and all day long …arousing and persuading and reproaching…You will not easily find another like me.”-- Socrates
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member for the trees
Posts: 4003 Joined: 28-Jun-2011 Last visit: 27-May-2024
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..i think it can be partly belief system orientated..in that there are systems of thought/focus to look beyond all separate aspects (including parts of ourselves which can seem separate) ..it's all part of a larger reality..however, yes in many cultures this issue is taken very seriously..
in such a subjective area, and without being directly familiar with your situation, i can only make the briefest of general comments...from some of those culture's p.o.v.....yes, anger will make it worse, but so will generosity...it doesn't matter what 'it' wants, it should be asked without reservation to go!..but also, don't just clean up your house, clean up all aspects of your life (diet, substances, thoughts, and habits, as suggested above) ..and find a force that's stronger...whether that's love, light, ancestors, god, guides...and be very careful of set, setting, timing, and frequency of usage of DMT..
just don't fear..you have come to a challenge...a cleaning job...you'll get through it..
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1116 Joined: 11-Sep-2011 Last visit: 09-Aug-2020
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Whether or not these parasitic entities are part of us, separate, neither, or both- from what I understand one can rid oneself of them by focusing on and embodying their opposite: love and light, or finding a Light Being/Guide in hyperspace or Dreaming to assist. I sincerely wish you the best and know you can beat this thing. Have faith in yourself. Embody love and manifest it in every aspect of your life. You might find these threads insightful: Interdimensional parasites, (alien, demon, etc)How to "combat" malevolent entities in hyperspace?Hyperspace Fool seems to have a lot of experience/knowledge with this stuff; you might want to send him a PM. Good luck.
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I compulsively post from time to time
Posts: 1123 Joined: 27-Apr-2011 Last visit: 16-Jan-2024
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Thanks guys, House. I knew I could count on you folks. ۩ wrote:I hope you can find peace.
That does not sound ok. Thanks. I felt a relief the instant I made this thread. And I feel fine, really. Not weirder than normal. The following is just for information because I feel fine. I decided to adhere to it as a spirit and ask what it wants from me. African dream root has been very useful for night-time relaxation. I will try Kirkii as well. And do more mindfulness meditation. But again, I feel mostly fine.. Except only in moments of weakness i am overtaken by paranoia. For instance, Friday morning I had little sleep and had a hard time waking up. I almost skipped school and i am sure I would have felt guilt. What happened was that I felt a spider sit on top of my head in your typical rainbow-coloured mushroom visual sort of way. As if anticipating my guilt and ready to feed on me. It turns out that when I got out of bed that school was closed anyway. But had i lied in bed I would have certainly had nightmares and guilt for hours. This was the day after I tried visualizing Chakras. And a force in my heart chakra kept sucking back into my heart even though I forcefully tried to visualize for it to leave. It is a little frustrating because something is in control of my imagination. I should be able to imagine whatever the hell I want, no? In 2013 I had a dream when moving to a new place that a spider traveled with me in the Jar which I typically use to store my DMT. I had nightmares for weeks at that time. Sometimes involving a spider. So the spider seems to be a typical symbol. I commonly feel that a spider is sitting on the sides of my head when I smoke cannabis. Especially when feeling anxious. Higher dose of cannabis is even worse and it slightly puts me back in the mind-state and hallucinations I saw the first time I met it on DMT. Thanks again, guys. And sorry for the paranoid rant earlier. I wonder if anyone knowledgable can speak on the safety of high-dose Ketamine considering my state of mind? My dreams seemed to indicate an overcoming of fear by taking it.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 231 Joined: 20-Mar-2011 Last visit: 05-Mar-2023
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There is no demon, it's just illusions you made up. The voice in your own mind is just thoughts spit out that you can choose to listen to or not. Good luck
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I compulsively post from time to time
Posts: 1123 Joined: 27-Apr-2011 Last visit: 16-Jan-2024
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Thanks. It's like my thoughts are too demanding for myself. "Do not smoke" "Eat healthy 100% of the time" "Be perfect". All these commands are turning haywire at some point I just have to say to myself that I am in command and disobeying an order is not the end of the world.
I found that during the evening my mind is much more clear if i turn off all artificial lights. It's like there's two 'demons' in me. One that is in control during the day and one in the evening. It starts to go bad pretty quickly if I let the day-time demon spend enough time in me by messing up the Melatonin cycle. I wonder if one of them is my subconscious ego.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1288 Joined: 22-Feb-2014 Last visit: 16-Mar-2024
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Be it in your own mind, or not, do you have any spiritual allies that you can ask for help? I've encountered an entity that stays near me, watching for trouble. https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=53612I feel pretty confident that the Guardian had my back. Not much trouble since then. Sometimes it's good for a change. Other times it isn't.
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I compulsively post from time to time
Posts: 1123 Joined: 27-Apr-2011 Last visit: 16-Jan-2024
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Thanks for sharing, Acacia. How do you feel about White sage for protection purposes?
I have tried salt and everything. Which is an interesting experience when you put it under ur bed. I even cut out bad habits. Changed my diet. Ate whole pieces of garlic. Meditating daily.
I believe we all have a personal deity. A guardian of sorts and a keeper of our dreams. It is akin to the colour of our Aura which has been purple for me. When I saw a purple aura around myself I was instantly reminded of a DMT flashback and a purple face that guided the visions from behind the 'curtains' so to speak.
(un)fortunately, I Always get the same advice. Breathe. When I ask what it wants it tells me to Breathe. I suppose that is why these things are coming back since I picked up the habit of smoking again.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 28 Joined: 16-Jan-2010 Last visit: 29-Mar-2022
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When the mind is out of control, it means it is possessed. not that it is true, Im just saying that I believe praying can be a big help, I mean religiously. Getting closer to the God or whatever it is. It can bring serenity. I don't mean to follow religions out there, I mean in experience, these things are good.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 231 Joined: 20-Mar-2011 Last visit: 05-Mar-2023
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Infectedstyle wrote:Thanks. It's like my thoughts are too demanding for myself. "Do not smoke" "Eat healthy 100% of the time" "Be perfect". All these commands are turning haywire at some point I just have to say to myself that I am in command and disobeying an order is not the end of the world.
I found that during the evening my mind is much more clear if i turn off all artificial lights. It's like there's two 'demons' in me. One that is in control during the day and one in the evening. It starts to go bad pretty quickly if I let the day-time demon spend enough time in me by messing up the Melatonin cycle. I wonder if one of them is my subconscious ego. Remember, every single thought you have is not the totality of you. They're just thoughts, you are the consciousness observing it all. Even the thought that theres a demon attacking you, just another thought, if you choose to believe that thought and give it power thats when it seems real
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1760 Joined: 15-Apr-2008 Last visit: 06-Mar-2024 Location: in the Forest
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spacexplorer wrote:There is no demon, it's just illusions you made up. The voice in your own mind is just thoughts spit out that you can choose to listen to or not. Good luck We have more choices than we realize I believe nature is indifferent The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible. Arthur C. Clarke http://vimeo.com/32001208
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1288 Joined: 22-Feb-2014 Last visit: 16-Mar-2024
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I do use white sage, a lot! A buddy once told me that it is a great way to bless things. I took his word for it and have been using it since. I have become somewhat ritualistic about how I burn the sage - before, during, and after the extraction process; and before, during, and after a smoking session. I say a little prayer while blowing the sage smoke at whatever I want good energy flowing through: "to be aware is to be free, to be focused is to be here, to be strong we must love, we heal everything." Seems to work, for me. Now my friends are starting to add it to their journeys, too. Lol. I guess some things become contagious among pals. Sometimes it's good for a change. Other times it isn't.
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I compulsively post from time to time
Posts: 1123 Joined: 27-Apr-2011 Last visit: 16-Jan-2024
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migmag wrote:When the mind is out of control, it means it is possessed. not that it is true, Im just saying that I believe praying can be a big help, I mean religiously. Getting closer to the God or whatever it is. It can bring serenity. I don't mean to follow religions out there, I mean in experience, these things are good. I agree. I prefer not to pray too much. But on those occasions that I did. It has been an enormous help. I guess i am also inclined to believe in "the power of christ" I also think that I get what you mean by saying the mind if out of control is like it is posessed. Since my last post I have almost not forgotten to focus on breathe for a minute. and the type of grounding I feel is very peaceful. I don't feel like I am chasing anything anymore. I am just living from a peaceful Zen approach. Maybe i'll smoke one cigarette today and keep it that way. I think this is the way forward for me.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1116 Joined: 11-Sep-2011 Last visit: 09-Aug-2020
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Infectedstyle wrote: I guess i am also inclined to believe in "the power of christ" The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!The power of Christ compels you! Did that work? Quote:Maybe i'll smoke one cigarette today and keep it that way. I think this is the way forward for me. If you have the willpower to smoke just one cig a day, surely you have the willpower to quit?
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I compulsively post from time to time
Posts: 1123 Joined: 27-Apr-2011 Last visit: 16-Jan-2024
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Touché, SpartanII. Touché SpartanII wrote:If you have the willpower to smoke just one cig a day, surely you have the willpower to quit? It creeps in actually. I know that Tobacco has MAOI properties and enhances learning. That got me back in there and helped me lucid dream. I might just heed what you said and take it to zero again. I'll do my best not to stare at the chocolate for hours.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1116 Joined: 11-Sep-2011 Last visit: 09-Aug-2020
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Infectedstyle wrote:Touché, SpartanII. Touché SpartanII wrote:If you have the willpower to smoke just one cig a day, surely you have the willpower to quit? It creeps in actually. I know that Tobacco has MAOI properties and enhances learning. That got me back in there and helped me lucid dream. I might just heed what you said and take it to zero again. I'll do my best not to stare at the chocolate for hours. Smoke in the lungs has cancer properties and will enhance death. If it's acetylcholinesterase inhibition to enhance lucid dreaming you're after then wouldn't using a nicotine patch be more effective (longer lasting) for your purposes?
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I compulsively post from time to time
Posts: 1123 Joined: 27-Apr-2011 Last visit: 16-Jan-2024
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SpartanII wrote:enhance death Sounds good! I would opt to enhance my death with DMT . Or Changa! Nicotine patches. Sure. I've thought about it. It might. It might also just make me naseous. It is quite expensive. But the burst of Acetylcholinesterase from a cigarette was good enough to propell me right into a lucid dream. It was amazing! On a lighter note. I ate a lot of ice cream yesterday after my last cigarette (with hash). And chocolate and Yoghurt. Lol. You see how my addiction turns to other bad habits. Feel like smoking! But I Hope to find something else to do. Like smoke dmt >_< Growing a plant. Or lucid dreaming. That stuff touches me and gets me really high and satisfied.
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