A little while back, I wrote about how I had lost my fear of salvia. A gram of "5x" leaf fell into my lap, and one night while smoking some ACRB extract-enhanced mullien with my tripping buddy, pulled it out and tried it for the first time as I re-entered this reality from hyperspace. It was very enjoyable,.but now after having a fully immersive experience with it, I see how powerful of a substance this is. The fear of it that I owned prior to that trip was borne of ignorance. I had watched,a long time ago, some YouTube videos that showed inexperienced users doing very strange things under it's influence that illustrated a danger that I was pretty sure I didn't want to mess with. In one,a guy and a girl are on a couch,.each holding individual bongs loaded with salvia, being filmed by a stationary camera. After taking their hits the girl appears paralyzed, and the guy throws himself out of the top portion of his multi pane window! I couldn't comprehend how someone could do that.
First, let me say that nothing that horrible or even bad happened with me, but now I can see how something like that could occur, in the wrong set and setting. Prior to this latest experiment, I read up on here regarding dosage levels ( thank something that I found good info! Thanks again, nexus!) And stumbled across a post where the poster, to paraphrase, felt like he'd been mind-raped and was suffering from a mild form of PTSD after smoking salvia. I can empathize.
My partner, more experienced than I with salvia-and a firm believer in fully experiencing a substance in order to know it, and what it can do for you-loaded a penny-sized bowl, and I held the flame to it the entire time I took in my hit. After I took the hit he come over trying to take the pipe from me and I was a little put off, I started to protest, that I felt no effect, when he started to fall away from me, and I lost control of my body completely.
Then, I was somewhere else. I had no recollection of anything, just an awareness that I was a three-dimensional entity,a human being, and that now I was suddenly in a two-dimensional reality, unable to move in any way. I had a perception of my body, but that it was folded as if conforming to a set of stairs, like a long piece of paper. All I could perceive was a roaring, metallic monotone sound that overwhelmed me, it was telepathically screaming at me "you are here in this reality now, you will never leave". I was starting to go insane with terror.
My field of vision, I'm told my eyes were wide open the whole time, was filled by a giant sunflower like object, whose petals, I knew, were my old reality. Each petal was striated in various colors, and I realized those striations.were distorted images of my most recent reality-the room I had been in, my friend,etc. Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, it started to come back to me. Yes, I was a person, yes I was in a room, or my body was, I just had to get back into it, and yes, I had taken a drug. The petals began to get larger and sort of unfold as I realized more and more where and what I was.
I felt an overwhelming need to move. I desperately wanted my friend to do something, to release from this somehow. I think I thought "he put me here he can get me out". Probably real time-wise, the largest portion of the trip consisted of.me performing the movements necessary to sit up on the edge of the bed. My friend was looking at me excitedly and with great expectation, his expression told me that he wanted badly to know what I thought. As soon as I was able to speak, I struggled out the words "I...will...NEVER...do...that...again!", to which he gave a hearty laugh.
The alien environments I find myself in on DMT are, while fully immersive involving all my senses (and then some) interactive to some extent, but in Salvia-World I'm completely helpless. I felt like I not only weighed thousands of pounds, but that I was strapped down with steel bands in some kind of restraints against my will. I've never been so deep into some substance to where I forgot completely who and what I am, let alone forgetting the ingestion of something. I felt mind raped, not trying to make light, and even actually feel a little traumatized.
I can see now how someone not knowing about salvia, or God forbid about psychedelic visionary states, could take too much salvia, be in a similar space and have the panic-reaction to move and end up doing something harmful to themselves. This is a powerful tool, not to be used lightly. Whereas before, I had your good ol ignorance based fear of salvia, now it has my trepidacious respect, and I will explore it's space with great respect and preparation. Later that night, I smoked a little more, not quite as much as the first time. It was exponentially lighter and far more enjoyable in it's effects. While I had loss of body control, it came on slow and I never forgot what I was. Actually, that time, I began performing very slow mudras that I had no control over, my hands and and just sort of rolling around-'turtle-yoga'?
Peace and light everyone!
I just read this in the
memorable quotes thread, and I think SpaceSeek knows of what I speak, though they have a greater sense of humor around it...
SpaceSeek wrote:Salvia is like being a crayon in a little kid's pre-school. So much color and fun. But how did you get here? And why are you a crayon?
Sine experientia nihil sufficienter sciri potest -Roger Bacon
*γνῶθι σεαυτόν*