I've been reading about dmt for years, fascinated by the prospect of hidden worlds and the strangeness of it all. I was able to take the leap this summer...it showed me a reality (or lack there of) that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Holding my second lungful, the world as I knew it began to mirror on itself in a peculiar way. A rapidly approaching train horn-tidal wave of every audible frequency slowly pushed me backwards into my head, vision tunneled, I closed my eyes. I let my breath out as I closed my eyes... as I breathed out it felt as if my lungs expanded into nothing and everything at once... and I couldn't take another breath back in, I had no body.
I could feel every one of my teeth vibrating in my scull, and it felt the entire wiring of nerves in my body were on fire, buzzing with energy. If my consciousness could have physical sensation, it felt like i was somersaulting through my scull, back and forth sorta falling out and in. I can only describe it as falling through fluid warm sand. All in a slow sluggish spinning motion, slow but constant.
I kept questioning "Is this happening?" Yes... and its beyond what ANYONE can put into words. The experience puts every bit you can read about a trip to shame. It feels like I'm falling, falling, falling... forward? Backward? In? Out?
There was no physical world and I was no longer "in control" ...just on for the ride. I could barely see this faded vibrating rainbow silhouette of my scull from slightly behind it. The silhouette of my teeth comes back, vibrating with color. Neon sorta black-light colors. I think one of the big reasons people have a hard time putting these experiences into words is the fact that you can't perceive dimensionality or depth when you have no physicality to compare things to.
This deep, endless spiral checkerboard pattern arose from the vibrating chaos. Three audible tones began to repeat over and over as i slowly spun within this new dimension. Each square of the spiraling checkerboard whirlpool was flickering between different colors. I recall fractals of the initial spiral checkerboard also spinning beyond and around the large center spiral.
At the center of the biggest spiral was a silhouetted face glowing intense white and radiating color around the edges. It looked something like a garden gnome wearing a hat. I was pretty disturbed when this guy appeared and I deeply questioned its significance. I couldn't look away as I had no eyes to do so with. This thing just sorta sat there in the center of the spinning spiral grinning at me. All the while, these three notes played like a creepy sing-song lullaby or something.
After a few minutes of this, I had a sudden thought that perhaps I COULD control my experience and I put every ounce of effort into this idea. A bright blue light split across the "mind-scape" and I realized I was opening my eyes. The moment I realized I could, it was as if they were slammed open.
The world as I knew it was the same, but absolutely different with a new astonishing clarity. Everything that I could see was split up into very uniform triangular mirrored shapes. The tree in the center of the grass was perfectly symmetrical. It was mirrored on itself and fractal in an indescribably complex but symmetrical quality. As the wind blew through it, the dimensional fractal form would move with the wind...but remain uniform.
I glanced over at my friend who had blasted off after me, he was wide-eyed staring at the tree too. He said "its perfect" and I almost burst into tears. The strangest thing was he was not mirrored or fractal at all. He was perfectly normal, but everything around us was distorted and different. I looked up at the cloudy sky, the entire dome of the sky was split into hexagonal and triangular mirrored forms. As the clouds would move through the forms, I could distinctly see the breakup between the mirror shards. I created an image to imitate how it looked. Of course it doesn't do it justice. The sun broke through the clouds beyond the tree, god-rays blasting out towards me. I was back and the warm sun on my skin seemed to be a reminder how beautiful this life and physicality can be. I felt so blessed to have returned to be able to live this life and experience the unbelievably complex perfection all around me.
Has anyone else opened their eyes during a trip? I felt like I was seeing behind the curtains or something. I thought it was especially strange how my friend hadn't changed at all when I looked at him.
Also, I'm assuming I saw a "machine elf", I'll do a drawing of what it looked like. Anyone seen a similar image?
The gnome