Hi Nexus

I already did a search on this topic, and despite of a thread with a guy introducing DMT to his girlfriend, I have my own dilemma, so I thought it was okay to create a new topic regarding this matter.

At the moment I am unemployed and basicly trying to make it as a full time poker pro. I finished my education before I began to chase my long time dream, and also being my own boss. My girlfriend supports me in what I do, but I can feel that she would appreciate the situation more if I found a "regular" job instead. She is intelligent and at the moment she is about to finish her education in law. She is always active and she always do something all the time. She just can't sit back and do nothing, where I am the more laid back kind of type. This is hard to explain, but I will try anyhow. I only say this because, in her mind I shouldn't "waste" my time doing "nothing"(Poker 8 hours a day), sports and sometimes smoking cannabis once in awhile. This is very raw details. Not saying that my dream is to do nothing and smoke cannabis. I just don't know another way to describe it.

She has smoked cannabis several times, but she only does it with me when we are relaxing and enjoying each other. This is very rare, now she's studying hard, but just to give you an idea of what is accepted in her head. I also think it's a ethic and morale matter when you have an education in law, and sometimes still do some illegal activities like cannabis.

We have never done any other drugs than cannabis, and I know that she doesn't want to either. I myself don't want to try any other drugs than DMT, and hopefully it will only be a onetime experience. I told her earlier that one of my friends tried LSD, and she said right away that she didn't wanted me to do it. I never wanted to try LSD anyway, so no problem.

That was a very long intro, I know, but how am I telling here that there is this kind of "Crazy" drug that I want to try one time? How can I introduce it properly to her? Everyone that is against these substances is very quick to find the negative sides of it, and think only negative about it.
I want to tell her it, instead of saying nothing douchebagstyle and do it anyway. I expect it to be a powerfull experience, and of course I want to be able to talk with my better half about it. I just don't want her to think that is a gateway for me and im continuing further into the universe of different drugs.

Earlier this year we acutally talked about the drug, and I had seen a documentary about this drug(The spirit molecule), how it worked and what it did, but I could feel that she was very much against it, and couldn't see the positive side of expanding your own conciousness in various methods.

We both meditate, and she is also interested in the spiritual world aswell, so that is perhaps an opening? To be clear, I don't want her to try this, just because I might want to.

I hope that I have given you a clear image of what I want to achiev with this thread, or else just ask me if something is unclear.

Thank you in advance guys!

I don't no man but I think you are trying to justify playing poker and smoking pot more then anything else !!

But you also sound like you're scared to tell her you're wanting to try dmt , for fear of being cut off and told to get a job !

Hi DMTme,

This can be a tricky subject. You can ask her to have a sit down with you, but come prepared (facts, research and youtube videos) - Start with your intention "I would like you to hear me out" and continue to explain from a 'Why I want to do this' point of view to 'what I believe can be accomplished' and just talk calmly about it. aslo ask her why she is against it and then possibly debate this and give a counter-fact, but not in a 'I told you I am right' kinda way.

If she is not into these things then you are going to have a pretty difficult time, but that does not mean that she wont let you use it.
You can also try to first ask her to be your sitter in this, make her part of your experience instead of asking her to do it with you. She might go for that and once she sees what you have accomplished she might be curious enough to try it herself.

Hope this helps?

After reading your entire post, I've decided (perhaps against better judgement) to reply.

1. I'd direct her to Law Enforcement Against Prohibition.

2. [Does she know you have a nexus account], If I was comfortable being honest with her, no matter the consequences, I'd be like: I just ran across this thread: Scientific Articles on DMT/Ayahuasca/Psychedelics and it reminded me of when I watched that documentary (Cosmic Spore hasn't seen The Spirit Molecule), and after thinking about all the information in that thread, the info on the nexus in general, (including: most ppl only use DMT once, IME), and DMT is from plant origin, you think you are interested in trying it at least once, to satisfy your curiosity about it.

3. About the Cannabis: look at this - Cannabinoid & Cannabis Studies, Documentaries & the like.

4. Do what makes you happy and get by to the best of your capacity; either be good, or be good at it.

the misses and the Magic, an interesting problem.

it may not be the most popular idea but if she doesn't mind you trying it, then I would try it. If she does mind, I would still do it and just not tell her (which may be difficult if it leads to a shift in how you perceive existence ).

The Magic isn't meth, its not going to ruin your life, its not going to throw you into an addiction spiral, in fact it may well make your existence much better. it did for me.

failing all else you could send her here for a chat.

This made me but if all else does fail, it is worth a try.

[quote=3rdI]the misses and the Magic, an interesting problem.


The Magic isn't meth


Hahaha made me laugh !!!!!

Hello DMTme,

wow I can't believe how similar our stories are.
or at least I can say I have been exactly in your shoes, but that was a longer time ago.

From what you describe your girlfriends sounds more like she is tolerating the whole "poker aspect" of your life since I don't think she really accepts it fully as your job and passion.
Support is when you encourage someone to play more and you try to cherish them when they aren't doing well. If she just accepts this but would rather see your work than...I smell simple tolerance.

Mine was also studying law and in her mind she couldnt grasp the concept of me playing cards for a living for full time basically ...and even on days when she went to the office and I was making about 3-4 times her daily wage ...she would still look at me like I've just been sitting and smoking pot all day at home.

If any discution about jobs in groups ever came ...she would be like ...almost beligerant ...saying I was unemployed and shit...


Now all that changed and I am glad the I don't see her anymore.

DONT TELL HER ABOUT DMT !!!!
she might seem open or ok but she will not understand. !! even you dont understand DMT fully and your have interest in it but for her it will be totally bad.

you said "She has smoked cannabis several times, but she only does it with me when we are relaxing and enjoying each other. This is very rare, now she's studying hard, but just to give you an idea of what is accepted in her head. I also think it's a ethic and morale matter when you have an education in law, and sometimes still do some illegal activities like cannabis.

We have never done any other drugs than cannabis, and I know that she doesn't want to either. I myself don't want to try any other drugs than DMT, and hopefully it will only be a onetime experience. I told her earlier that one of my friends tried LSD, and she said right away that she didn't wanted me to do it. I never wanted to try LSD anyway, so no problem. "

She sees life as a serious important thingy that cant be dont while taking cannabis in her mind ...or any other drugs for the matter and she has most likely had a bad view on substances ever since her parents started filling her head with BS. Just like they did to you ...but you didn't listen now ...did you ? She did ...and she might even say its ok to smoke DMT but she will not like it at all and see it as your drug consumption pallette is just growing ....and she will think " whats the next one he will try ? MDMA ? LSD ??" ...

I am sure you had the "Im only smoking weed" discution at some point ...well that changes if the knows you are doing dmt too ...

just dont tell her !!!

@Earthwalker

I think you have misunderstood what I was writing. Im not justifying one thing over the other.
In my world you have to do what make you happy. My hobby that makes me happy is playing poker, im just fortunate that I also can make money doing what I love. It would have been exactly the same if I said that I wanted to work at MCdonalds more than everything in the world. Im not afraid of getting cut by my girlfriend. We have known each other for a long time, and are pretty functional adults that can talk about anything without consequences.

I just like that I can manage my own "working hours" and do what I want when I want. As I clearly wrote regarding the cannabis, im not smoking every day or every week, but just once in awhile. Im not playing poker to have all the time in the world to smoke cannabis. I hope you understand that. Where im coming from, people are oldschool society minded. If you have a regular job, who are economical safe, and people will get off your back, but when you do something "different" than anyone else in the society all the sudden something is wrong. I don't like how people get affected that way because of what they are seeing in the TV and listening to in the media. That's why I don't look at what the media have to say all the time.

@Arc

I wouldn't mind if she was my sitter for the experience, but I also think that can have a negative effect, when she sees me being "all gone". I have done very much research on the subject, and I want to show her the how and whys.

@Cosmic

She doesn't know that I have this account, but that's not because im hiding it. I just wanted to do my own research first, before I say "Honey, im chatting in this forum with some guys about drugs" thing.

I think your 2. answer is awesome. I think that would be a perfect thing to do it that way. As said earlier, we can talk just about anything, and by telling her that im want to satisfy my curiousity I looked at this community, thread etc.

She has a more laid back relationship to the Ayahuasca method, because it's not this white powder/crystal and it's more spritual in the shamanism amazon way. Just instead of some people talking about what they saw in a documentary.

@3rdI

This is exactly what I want to tell her. It will not ruin my life and send my into a addiction, but change my life for the better.

@Everyone else

Would it be easier to have the experience first, and talk to her about it afterwords?

Really appreciate your answers, and I already is a bit more enlighten in the area. Much easier when you have others perspective too.

I think that your best bet on helping her accept you wanting to use DMT is explaining to her why you want to use it. how it might help you grow, and what your intentions are. Do you want to address specific things from your past/present or maybe seek out answers about what direction you might take in the future?

That being said, I am not the person to judge whether or not you are making a smart choice asking this of her. It's your girlfriend and you should know her stance on drugs.

Also, if by some chance she says you should and also wants to try it herself, you may want to be aware of how powerful a psychedelic DMT is. It might ruin her perspective on psychedelics in general if she has too powerful or a scary experience. It may be best if she does have mutual interest in psychedelics to suggest she try something more gentle on a first timer.

Others might argue otherwise. DMT can be beautiful and a powerful catalyst for great life and perspective changes. But there is that chance if could ruin her on the thought of trying psychedelics which would be a shame for her, and then probably for you too since obviously you don't want to use substances without her knowing and/or her approval.

@Dark

OMFG, you are so spot on as one can be. I love my GF to death, but she's has been raised and effected by her parents in a very "funny" way. She is Catholic. (Not meaning it's bad, just info).

I also think it doesn't matter how much I earn, I don't tell her anyway. We don't share our economy, but I don't think she could grasp if I told her how much I earned/lost from the one day to the other.

After reading what you wrote to me, im thinking of not telling her at all. I never looked at it that way, of how you are affected by other people in a negative way more than a positive way, and her way of making it in the life is in these simple strict steps:

1. Grow up healthy
2. Finish school
3. Get a job
4. Get a family
5. Enjoy your old days with you grandchildren

I have had a pretty strict childhood. Loving family. Nothing wrong there, but my mother have always worked for the police, so even the smallest illegal stuff was looked upon negatively. I even had to wait 2 months turning 16 before riding my moped because of insurance issues and it would be illegal to drive it before I got the papers. Just to give you an idea

@Virus

The only way I see my GF trying anything like this, is if she sees how it help me to grow as a person.

I don't want to try DMT for the trips and psychedelig part, but the way it can help you grow as a person and expand your conciousness. The first reason that I began to research and learn about DMT, was because of what I heard had helped other people in growing as a person.

Im in a place right now, where I really don't what to do in the future and I think that DMT can help me on that part. Not in answers, but another guidence that I have never experienced before. As said earlier, I just know I want to play poker and I love doing it. This can also help me to get the money to travel and learn which is one of the highest priorities in my head right now. I think I want to start a family and so on later in life, but for now I want to find out what I AM, and what I want to do. (25 years old btw).

I think I get we're you're coming from sorry if I missed judge ! but am I write in saying you don't no how to quite go about it as you're missus is a square head ??

Just talk it over she can only say no she's not into it !!

But just don't bomb her with it ease into it ! It'll happen if it's meant to !

Dmt has a way of working like that !!

Mine was also Catholic/religious ... and even though we didn't get to discussing DMT I dont imagine her being open to me seeing a godlike entity while hyperspace cruising

Such people have different priorities than we have.

I assume yours would be:

1. Make a lot of money
2. Be your own boss
3. Be able to smoke weed when you want
2. Have free time for your hobbies and having crazy fun
3. Hanging out with friends

.... at least those were mine ..and still are
you see a small conflict between what she and you want and pursue?

My GF was almost the same...law student, with full-time job, catholic, came from a close united family.
She thought I was just a lazy mofo who just wanted to sit at home all day and mostly surf the internet while playing some poker and smoking a ton of weed. If I would have got a full-time job with avg wage doing a stupid office clerk with stress, limited money and respect she would have still been more happier than knowing I was at home being relaxed and making a decent sum of "uncertain" money every day... we eventually broke up (mutual and I moved out and this ended up being the best decision of my life)

as you said ...its about education and values. Such people dont get the idea that a person can live without a full time job. Others dont think one can function while smoking weed daily and others dont think poker can be a job but only a dangerous vice ...



Now I'm not saying admitting to her or letting her know would ruin your relationship, no it wont do that.
But it will make it harder. You can't undo the fact that she will know you took a powerful psychedelic. And god forbid that you ever want to take again after the first time because then ...well you know what people start thinking/saying.

I think that as long as you arn"t injecting it into your eyeball all day, everyday and don"t develop some deluded messiah complex then you should keep it to yourself. If she finds out and goes ballistic and wants to leave you then maybe your relationship is not supposed to last. Loved ones can be quite forgiving after they have found out about clandestine drug taking activities. Obviously there might be an interim bollocking phase but that is part and parcel of a long term relationship.

Having said that if she asks you whether you have done DMT, bite the bullet and tell her the truth. Some people may disagree but not telling a partner about a secret vape and outright lying are two different sides of the coin of inter-marital deception. Bare faced lies are bad news for all parties involved IME.

I don't know you, or your relationship, but I feel what I feel and know what I know. What i know is I've had 2 marriages. One where I was very compatible with the other but their past caught up and seized them for another round. Thankfully she removed herself from my life as she didn't want to harm me. It hurt, but not as much as if she stayed.

The second was someone I was completely crazy about for a long long time, but they were closed minded and controlling. I used to tiptoe around HER all the time. Trying to uphold myself to HER ideals, morals, and whatever she wanted or thought I should be. What she wanted isn't bad, it just wasn't me. I was not having a good time for a long time! I ended up having to leave cause she got off her bipolar meds, got on her alcohol meds, and became very abusive. That doesn't relate to you, but it forced a change in me for my well being. I'm a loyalist and unconditional lover, but I wasn't enforcing my personal value system, or perhaps it was too eroded. So I had to remove myself. It was hard, but the best thing I ever did. It taught me that I love what I love, and I'm worth having/seeking whatever that may be.

Now I have a girlfriend who is amazing. Most of our interests are in tune. She is open minded and even became interested into this path I seem to be pulled along. Before, I knew I couldn't even try to start telling the ex that I was interested in DMT. Now I can be open. The support is like my first marriage, but even BETTER! I can't begin to explain the contrast. I'm also at a point where the last relationship got so bad that it forced a backbone to grow.

So that is what I know, and the following is what I feel; a pang on my spine upon reading that your girlfriend's reply was that she didn't want you to try LSD ever. It's hard for me, NOW, to feel that I'd be comfortable in a relationship where I was being held back or, as a grown adult, told what someone ELSE didn't want ME to do. In fact, from past experience, I lived just that and what a horrible experience it was. How can anyone tell another that THEY don't want YOU to try anything again or ever. Girlfriends are not parents, nor do they have the commitment chops to impose their will on someone else. If they don't like the activities and interests of their partner, sounds like they shouldn't be partners, and vise versa, ad nauseum.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting a break up. Just keep in mind you gave yourself the answer with "In my world you have to do what make you happy." I agree to this whole heartily as long as you don't hurt anyone else. If you know trying a substance will hurt someone else (mentally or otherwise), you have the choice to determine if you'd be happier staying with them and NOT trying it, or break up and try it if they won't be ok with it. Either way, I'd be completely honest. No point in living a lie, or in hiding, or walking on eggshells. Of course if they can be led to see things from your perspective, truly, then there's a possibility for growth and more acceptance. If, sadly, not, then I guarantee you there is someone out there who does. Including your career aspirations. Being single to do what one wants is also always a valid option.

Again, I don't know all the details, back history, interactions, etc. I do know one should be happy and free to do with their life what they want and makes them happy. I now would not let anyone come between me and happiness. I actually had planned to be single for a year or two after the last marriage, but perhaps that in itself signaled the universe I was mature, ready, and strong enough now for a REAL and honest lasting relationship. I am ever so grateful for the lessons
I had to learn the hard way.

I'm just saying, being 100% honest 100% of the time with someone you share life with (including and especially yourself) is the only way to live as I see it. To me, all decisions should be based on this.

1: Do it.
2: Do not tell her.

Quite a few people here are for not being truthful with your lover? Hmm...

And as far as ayahuasca being more spiritual because your in the amazon and some guys that call themselves shamans... bah.

Dmt freebase is just as spiritual imo and either way its just a 5min or so experience. Tell her what you feel. Tell her that you are doing research on dmt and might decide to try it. See what shes says and I doubt she can come up with any negatives that cant be shot down easily.

Dont lie to her be truthful. She should respect your wishes just as you should respect hers.

@dark

Can't write in PM, since im a new member, so I can only write to mods. Don't know when I can write regular PMs.

@Fan

I aggree that it's always the best way to tell the truth, but it's not always the most easiest way. I still don't know what I am going to do, but thinking of doing it first and tell her after.

But I still think I will introduce my thoughts about it to her, and see how she react. Perhaps I should show her some articles, this site etc. instead of just telling her about what I have researched and read about.

Withholding information is not lying. I don't understand your need to "ask her for permission". To me, that wouldn't be "douchebaggerystyle" but "minding ones own business". If she does not want you to try LSD, chances are, she wouldn't be ok with DMT. Yeah, too bad for her.

I also don't understand why you would want this to be a one time thing from the start.