Dear friends
Here is my most recent (3 months old) inner journey that i will try my best to describe since english is not my native language.

Dose: 5g of mushrooms with lemon tech.

Mood & setting: restless with some hints of fear and discomfort but in safe and domestic environment.


I have to say right from the beginning that it was a hard one, but i knew that it was going to be a grinder this time around, since i was going through rough month of deep self inquiry that was triggered by one of previous trips. I realized i will get my ass kicked... but i was willing to go deep and face whatever was there waiting for me. Cant allways bee in ˝right˝ mood. I did get my ass kicked. Wouldn't change it for anything.

I drink my shroom potion and the fear kicks in. I was scared. My mind was racing back to last trip and how completely obliterating it was and how i am not in the ¨right˝ mood to be doing this...like there is such a thing as right mood for these experiences.
You are idiot...you are crazy for doing this. Brace yourself

Experience unfolded as two sides of the same coin. One side was ˝negative˝ and other ˝positive˝.
Negative side was me having very intimate conversation/interrogation with some very deep part of me who knew waaaay more about my true self than i do
As soon as i would have any thought i would switch to this other me (still human part of me) -surprised me to say at least and the conversation would unfold. This other me would make faces and he would question every thought word etc. that i would have.
He would make a grinning face and say:

Other me:
˝You really think this is it?˝
˝This is how it is?˝
˝Are you sure?˝
˝Hmmmm. Do you really want to know the truth?˝
˝Thuth about yourself. The REAL you.˝

I said yes since some human part of me still thinks that i can grasp and handle with grace what that is, since being exposed to some of it in previous experiences.
Wrong.

I am being blasted with so much information, emotions, visions at exact same time that it all becomes so overwhelmingly unbearable i start loosing ˝my mind˝. i begg my self/other me to stop this ˝insanity¨. All i get in response is:

Other me:
˝You wanted to know didn't you?˝
˝Now deal with it!˝

I get blasted over and over again. I try to hold to my...whatever i tried to hold on to ...there was nothing left to hold on to. I was waking up to my/our real self.
Endless stream of ˝information˝...something indescribable.

I am begging: ˝No way! NO WAY! This is impossible! This just can't be!!!˝

Other me:
˝DEAL WITH IT! YOU THINK YOU KNOW. LET ME SHOW YOU THE REAL YOU!!!˝

I loose all sense of physical realty. Everything became infinite fractal.

Other me:
˝YOU are everything. Let me show you what EVERYTHING means!˝

Visions, feelings, knowing was coming in/out at such staggering rate i was loosing my mind. Only one way mildly describes this part of the trip. PURE ******G INSANITY.
I was begging my other self to end this. Kill me! KILL ME!

Other me:
˝What!? Really? You think you can die? You can't die you are EVERYTHING! YOU ARE ETERNAL! DEAL WITH IT!!!˝

Swimming in it. Sucking it in. Positive and negative. Can't hide from your self.
Other me calls me by my human name and asks.

Other me:
˝***R! Why do you cling to this life?˝

Perhaps you can learn more from the ˝negative˝ side than it's polar opposite. I was taken to school.
Eons pass and finally it stops. I am confronted.
It's the Creator, Consciousness, God whatever you wanna call it...pfffff ˝IT˝ was there to balance things out. I will never forget when ˝it˝ called me by my name and told me.

˝IT˝:
˝Why all these questions ***R?˝
˝Do you really want to know everything?˝
˝You are experiencing it.˝
˝How does it feel?˝
˝You are part of me.˝
˝You are little spark of me, an aspect of me.˝
˝I created this life for you so you can experience this incredible miracle of experience.˝
˝In your human form you will never be able to understand the meaning, motivation and processes that happen on the level of ONE. The Creator.˝

It showed me a glimpse of it...
There is no way to describe what it is. This is so complex it's not even complex anymore. It's something else. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
The whole time i could feel this parent love toward my self.
This is extreme experience when you are having conversation but at the same time you are IT.

˝IT˝:
˝Enjoy life!˝
˝This is a game.˝
˝Who you are or what you are is this deep deep thing.˝
˝You like to play.˝
˝This is a game.˝
¨Enjoy life since this is so spectacular and miraculous beyond anything that humans can comprehend.¨
˝You are fractal.˝
˝Infinite fractal.˝

All of this is ˝IT˝ experiencing it self. All is love. This creation is nothing but love.

Beautiful.

Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading your journey.

Hey,

i read this and it feels strangely similar to what the wizard in my dmt journeys is trying to communicate to me. Although i don't perceive it as 'speakable' language...or 'spoken'..It feels more like he is GESTURING it to me with his hand.. Like just shaking his 'index finger' and i get the telepathic sense of knowing what you describe in your report( "Don't forget it! You are eternity! Your being can not cease!"...

And this thing gets really dense at the end of the trip's peak. As if it is supposed to be something i really should remember as most important 'advice' from that entity.

Beautifully described!

Best regards!

I am glad that you enjoyed it. I certainly find more and more respect and intrigue with each experience.

Hehehe how fun is that that each of us has his own unique experience but the message can be almost if not the same. Sounds like this wizard is reoccurring thing in your trips. That is very interesting. Why wizard? But then again why not.
Thank you and good luck to you to brother!

I just have the feeling It is one. But we all know all the terms we come up to describe what happens to us in hyperspace are rather means of communicating it between us, humans, rather than what is is. It's just that psychological instinct or habit of antropomorphically conceptualizing these strange realms!

When I'm breaking through the first thing always is that i find myself (my sense of awareness) that i'm present no longer in the everyday life, but in other dimension, that i am 'hearing' that wizard's flow of thoughts. But it isn't heard as sound. Rather his flow of thoughts is constructing my senses, my beingness, my right of beingness, and the geometrical glowing patterns of that purple-greenish pyramid that i'm into. For some tiniest fractions of 'time' i could see that he is observing me through the pixels of this crystal construction. I could sense that the shape of the small geometrical bricks that the pyramid is made from correspond to the shape (and content) of his 'head' or mind. As soon as i have 'comprehended' that he is the creator of this reality, of all the universe, and that i could see his flow of thoughts shapes those crystal geometrics (which are in fact me), i sense that he is somehow sneaking out, he plays tricks withme, and now he is constructing it with some gestures of his 'hands'. As if magician is doing a magical trick in front of a audience, or as if some mystic figure is gesturing around his crystal globe, his fingers wiggling and tweaking. And me and the universe (everyday reality and the dmt-dimensions) are this crystal globe. Or as if he is some sort of demiurge or cosmic alchemist, whose opus is the tangible reality. Few of the trips i could sense that he is 'talking' to the Mother Goddess, as she was present there with him, to have a look at me.

A really uncanny thing is the way he smiles at me, when he communicates all those things you describe. I guess this might have something to do with the descriptions and impressions of the Jester entity.

But it is really weird that i start to 'see' him with that uncanny smile at the end of the peak-trip. Then he is like " This is where you came from. You've been here many times. You're always here and we're always there with you, though you can't sense it. You are this. We are you. You are playing this game with us." And he starts waving in this creepy way, but i could sense he is not threathing me, he is not malevolent, but this is just my reaction to how weird all of this is. "You are eternity. You will be always present. Go play this game! Go play this game". And then an emotional fluctuation of fear (of sensing spiritual freedom) and being loved comes up and full all my body just as the trip ends.

I think this is what they always tell me. That the driving force of all the cosmos is love.


Wish you all the best!

That is really interesting slugware. Thanks for elaborating it a bit further.
Yes love is the driving force for all of this. As human i do have strange or downright wrong understanding of what love really is. Kinda hard for me to ˝know˝ or ˝feel˝ this on any given day but ever since i started my explorations i am sensing noticeable changes in my awareness.
Hard to describe but i am the same ˝person˝ but i know/sense little bit more about what/who i really am.
Don't know where this will take me and that is part of the fun, intrigue, mystique that makes life so fun and challenging.
Guess the ¨one¨ has incredible fun while playing this game of hide and seek.
Hard to find yourself when your everything but pretending not to be.
Crazy game.

Take care

I am an infinite fractal. Cool. It is true that I love to play and experience; I feel it deeply. Also, that life is to be enjoyed corresponds to my life philosophy.

Anyway, I want to ask you did you get any information about how we create our life experience?

And, what was the mood of IT -- playful?

The only thing that my ape brain is able to put in words is that we/IT create this life experience with light and sound...and infinite amounts of LOVE.

The mood was ˝child˝ like, loving tranquility...