Background info:
As the title says, I will be sharing my first experience on this mind blowing substance. I'd call it a drug, but that seems almost degrading towards it. The following is my very first experience with DMT, or (Again, as the title says) any hallucinogen at all. I am also lacking in experience with many other drugs, the only major three I've tried prior to this being marijuana, various amphetamines (I hope it isn't against the rules to post that, I don't recall anything prohibiting it but if it's a problem please let me know and I'll change it right away), and DXM (The same disclaimer after the previous drug applies to this as well). I don't know how well I'll actually describe it, but here goes nothin'...
First, the pre-experience details:
I had a sitter, kind of -- he wasn't there to be a sitter but rather to observe my reaction to it and remove the smoking tool from me as soon as I was finished taking the hit. This sitter was my brother, who has had the same (Although slightly less in the first two substances I mentioned) experience with things I have.
The method I used to smoke the DMT was a variant of a 'test tube' vaporizer I had seen several places, and everyone that had used it praised it highly. My version of this was a water pipe (I don't actually want to call it a bong because it really isn't a full-fledged bong at all) that consisted of a test tube, a whip similar to a vape whip, and a bowl with a stem going almost totally to the bottom of the tube. The whip and bowl/stem are in the holes of a black rubber plug that goes over the test tube. Since I didn't have access to a chemistry store or anything like that, I remembered seeing this at my local headshop and thought it would be perfect for DMT. I did unscrew the bowl from the stem, although it wasn't necessary. The stem acts as the air inlet, the whip as the mouth piece, and the tube as the main vaporizing area or whatever you want to call it.
I had read quite a bit about this substance, and got myself more into a positive mindset beforehand. I don't recall whether or not your mindset/subconscious affects a DMT trip but I know it plays a large roll in experiences with other hallucinogens so I figured it wouldn't hurt. This wasn't difficult, as I have been excited to try DMT for a very long time.
I had smoked a very, very potent sativa prior to taking the DMT, but I had done some research and was relatively confident the DMT trip would totally overpower the marijuana high.
Now, the main event:
1) Getting ready -> The guy I got the DMT from gave me a larger amount and a baggie with a relatively typical 40mg dose in it. I opened the larger amount and took out what looked to be the same size as the 40mg dose. I know, not very accurate, but I already waited forever to get my hands on some DMT and I wasn't going to wait even longer until I could afford a good mg scale. So I scraped the DMT into the test tube and replaced the rubber stopper with the stem and whip. Next I gathered all the white crystally powder into a 'corner' at the bottom of the tube (Corner isn't the proper word but my head is still reeling from the experience and I'm anxious to write the rest of the experience down) and held a torch about two inches away from it. After a short while the DMT liquified. I could see no vapor, and then recalled that it was supposed to be boiling when releasing vapor. I put the flame much closer and it began bubbling. I was high so I wasn't paying attention and held it very close for too long, and after a bit it started turning brown/black, and I'm pretty sure that means I began burning it at the very end (If I'm wrong and that normally happens someone let me know). I let it cool for around 30 seconds because I heard the vapor can be harsh, and afterwards beckoned my brother over and told him to get ready to take the pipe from me as soon as I inhaled all the way. I began inhaling. I didn't feel it as a burn, but rather as a feeling similar to that which you would feel if you were to smoke a very, very strong menthol cigarette. Don't worry, I'm certain there was not any menthol in the substance. After holding it in for as long as I could (Around 10-15 seconds) I exhaled.
2) The come-up -> About five seconds after I began inhaling I noticed an intense buzz developing. By the time I exhaled, this buzz was very intense and still increasing. It was very uncomfortable, and felt almost like if you smoke so much you get completely fried at first, but soon changed. The feeling that was developing as the buzz grew more intense is hard to describe, but I'll do my best. Basically, try imagining a thick tube in every area of my body (Like one thick tube in your torso that branched out to all your limbs, and was centered in the middle of said torso and limbs) I don't know...). It felt as if that imaginary tube was vibrating, tingling, and creating other odd feelings within my entire body. This got so progressively intense that at one point I recall starting to worry about the duration of this effect, and the thought of the possibility that I was dying crossed my mind, but I quickly talked myself down from it by assuring myself it was just a drug and nothing more. About midway through the progression of this feeling everything in the room was covered in elaborate fractal patterns that seemed to be pulsating and glowing. My vision was sort of going hazy, almost like I was asleep with my eyes open but still able to see to an extent. Again, not a good description but these aren't common feelings lol.
3) The real trip -> I don't recall ever noticing it, but soon I forgot about that feeling in my body. I am not sure if it stopped. At first I thought it definitely stopped, but as I kept thinking about it after the trip I realized I almost completely forgot about my body at certain points in the trip (It would have been the entire trip, but I'll explain why it wasn't later). I was able to think somewhat clearly, but certain things had began to leave my mind. For instance, the ability to think of it as 'just a drug' was pretty much out the window. It was so real at that moment that I couldn't even think of it as a drug. Let me take a moment to mention that, if at any point in time I refer to the state we normally exist in as 'reality,' I am not implying what I experienced was not. 'Reality' is just the easiest way for me to describe the norm. That being said, all aspects of reality ceased to exist, minus sound. Well, I shouldn't actually be saying any of this indefinitely. Let me explain: My brother is worried about the idea of drugs that affect your mind/consciousness (Primarily hallucinogens), though he does really want to try it, and he was also worried about my reaction to it. Because of this, throughout the trip I never allowed myself to completely leave my body so I could get back into reality as quickly as possible to reassure him everything was fine. I know the 'leave my body' part might need clarification, but that'll come soon. Anyways, on to more in-depth details of the trip.
4) Higher beings -> I thought I was prepared for this. I was not, and you will not be. I can guarantee the first time you experience this it will not be what you expected. Never in my life did I imagine things that had no physical prevalence in our world could be so vivid and existent, and it still astounds me. The room I am in is relatively small and rectangular, but almost cubic. Behind me is a pair of double doors, and in front of me is a closed door with mini windows in rows of three and in five columns. This means you can see through the door, but there are the skinny frames of the 15 windows there as well. It was light in the room, and dark on the other side of the windowed door, but there was just enough light to see the chair we have in our entryway waiting to be picked up by someone. The chair I was in was in one of two corners furthest away from the door, and the chair my brother was in resided in the other corner, so that we could see each other's reflection in the window. This is where it began. All of the sudden, in place of my brother's reflection was what looked to be a being made of some black goo, but looked solid. It was featureless and had a more roundish head with a sleek body. I believe it was male, as it had no outstanding female characteristics. This figure was just looking at me, with no expression or anything. I felt myself almost being pulled further and further into this -- I'll call it a dimension for ease of explanation -- dimension that consisted of only pitch-blackness and this being. It almost felt like I was being lulled to sleep at the same time. Soon, there were five beings total, four more randomly appearing (I don't remember them appearing, I just remember there suddenly being five instead of one) around the first one, so that there were five side to side. I did feel fear, but I didn't really freak out about anything, and felt like I was in control. This entire time, periodically, my brother would say things (Mainly statements expressing shock or awe at my statue-like state) that I used to make pulling myself back to reality easier. I say easier, because it was already relatively easy, but at the same time it was almost like I was being lulled into the beings' dimension and at times I didn't even realize the room I was in existed. I kept periodically bringing myself back to reality and attempting to assure my brother everything was alright. At one point I considered surrendering my conscious and -- what I personally felt was on the verge of happening -- allowing my conscious to leave my physical body. I have read random things about astral projection, including some theories that it is possible for someone experienced in astral projection to ascend into a higher astral plane when outside of their body, and this feeling of getting lulled in is similar to how I think it would feel if someone was astral projecting and started being coaxed into a higher astral plane by something. Anyways, about four and a half minutes after I began heavily tripping, I pulled myself back to reality for the last time, although at this point it was less for the sake of my brother and more because I was ecstatic to share my borderline insane experience with him. I know this was the definitive end of the heavy trip because at earlier times when I would temporarily kick myself into reality I could still see the being (Or beings, later on) in the door's windows, instead of my brother's reflection. This last mental kick into reality cut the beings' presence from my experience. For a couple seconds after the kick they were still there, but after looking hard I mentally 'deciphered' what I was seeing and it reverted back to my brother's reflection. For a few minutes following that I was talking to my brother and still very much feeling a small buzz from the DMT -- the body buzz mentioned earlier. Only this time it was a familiar feeling, and didn't bother me at all. This is most likely partially because it was less intense and partially because I stopped regarding it as a bad feeling, and instead one representing a total shift in consciousness. I also find it interesting how -- when astral projecting -- one is supposed to feel intense vibrating before the mind leaves the body, and that sounds like a less intense version of what happened at the beginning and end of the trip. Towards the end, when the buzz was still relatively strong but after I had considered myself back to reality, for a couple minutes I felt like I could bring the beings back, if I tried, but I didn't attempt it and kept talking with my brother. I also should mention that during the intense part of the trip it was almost as if time was nonexistent. The first chunk of the trip went by very slowly, but began to speed by quicker and quicker as the trip got more and more intense, to a point where periods of a minute would feel like a second or two (Later found out upon watching the video my brother recorded).
5) Afterthoughts -> As the buzz reduced to nothing so did my connection with the other plane/dimension, and is somewhat leading me to suspect that the buzz is a physical indication of how 'tethered' to your body your mind is at that moment, and is so intense because it is the drug pushing your mind out of your body instead of the mind leaving the body through sheer thought/mind power (Yeah, mind power sounds lame, whatever). I noticed the very strong marijuana high I had going into the trip was nothing but a light buzz by the end of it, and at no point during the trip did I ever feel 'high' minus coming up and coming down (But that was all the DMT feelings, and not the marijuana). Shortly after the experience I then smoked a very potent indica (We received three very, very high quality strains today and wanted to try them all in one day, especially since we hadn't previously had access to such high quality bud). Now I'm sitting here at 3:30 AM long after my brother has gone to sleep, lightly paranoid because of my DMT experience and the weed's paranoia-invoking effects that rarely affect me but up until a little while ago were heavily affecting me (Again, because of my DMT experience), deep in thought and total awe at what I just experienced. On more technical notes, I believe I did and didn't breakthrough. I did in the sense that I had achieved that level of DMT influence, but didn't in the sense that I never completely let myself get swept up in the experience. I guess I could use an analogy to describe it: If you imagine breaking through as going through a door. This door is normally closed, but at a high enough dosage of DMT you gain the ability to see the door, and this door opens. Inside are the beings, beckoning you through the doorway. I chose not to go through the door (And I want to stress that it was very much my choice), but if I had I would have experienced breaking through.
Outro:
Part of me is afraid (Most likely primarily induced by low sleep and being high), because these beings were so real and felt so present, and yet right now I can't see them. The problem is, now that I have seen them I feel like they can be anywhere, and particularly reflections in things are tweaking me out. I will post again in the morning and say whether or not this is still affecting me. I hope not, but even if it is I feel like it's not all that bad and just requires some sinking-in/getting used to as this didn't even seem possible earlier today. Advice on combating this partial fear would be helpful provided it is a known effect of DMT and is not just a product of exhaustion and marijuana.
Well, there is so much more I wanted to say, but it was a struggle to even quickly ram all that into this thread, and I need to just sit back and think now. My thoughts are still racing, however maybe I'll recall things I didn't mention a little later after I have more time to contemplate. Anyone have any comments? Similar experiences? I know beings are very common (If not guaranteed) at breakthrough levels of DMT, and many people have mentioned having to 'surrender.'
This was a life-changing experience, and it's criminal that the legality of this substance will prevent the majority of the world from ever experiencing its deep effects on the way you think about everything. I am going to do it again soon, but am waiting until I can get some people over as I want to share the experience.