Everytime I have broken through on DMT I have had the same experience. This experience is a kind of loop that I feel I get stuck in. The first time was the craziest because I thought I had messed up and doomed to spend eternity in this field of negativity. The second time was the same exact thing. I have broken through 6 times now and 2 of them was when I was drunk but I don't remember anything from them other then something about the end of the world. Yesterday, I decided to pick up the DMT pipe once again and go for it. I loaded approximately 20mg and hit it while sitting in my car. Coming up was different, it wasn't as intense as before but more of a calm shift into hyperspace. Once again, I get stuck in this "void" where I am telepathically told that I cannot go back now. I had my 5 senses, or at least my hearing of the outside world and each time I would open my eye I was back in my car but closing my eyes propelled me back. I wasn't scared for the first ~5 minutes because I still knew I had smoked DMT but this time I got this feeling that I shouldn't have done it this time, I am pretty sure similar to my previous experiences. After 5 minutes I became worried, I opened my eyes but life didn't look the same. I was convinced a part of my soul had been snatched and I was a now going to walk the earth as a soulless human being. This feeling lasted for 20 minutes while I just sat in my car emotionless just thinking, "wow I shouldn't have done this." Each time I would close my eyes I would get a flashback/forward of a man walking from my very right to about where my nose would be and also a weird presence of something right out of sight in my left eye. I only got it when I closed both of them, not one. I even squinted but didn't get this feeling.

What worries me a little more is that I have had this flashback before. It started when I was coming down off of 2ce and it kept repeating every time I would close my eyes. It eventually stopped after about 30 minutes of it repeating in my head. I also randomly got this same flashback once when I was really high on cannabis laying in bed in a somewhat hyperbolic state. I Do not know what this could be and wish I knew, is it a psychological? HPPD? A sign that I need to change my life? Or am I going to hell when I die?

I am not afraid to smoke DMT again and am really tempted but I just want to break past this repeated experience of being stuck in such a complex world with a presence taunting and scaring me. I literally thought for 20 minutes after I came out of it that I just had some of my soul taken from me. It only stopped after I got to the library of my school and slowly squinted my eye and closed them when it stopped.

Read my previous trip reports for more info on experiences I had before.

I have two suggestions for you. First, stop doing it when you're drunk. Secondly the "loops" can be commonplace, but what I would do to remedy that would be to journey with music. Music (vibration in general) has a humongous impact on hyperspace. Often along with the visual looping is an audio looping. You can think of the two "signals" (audio and visual) being interconnected. If you mask the audio loop with music, it may prevent the visuals from looping as well.

As far as the emotions go, hyperspace can leave you off on "either side of the bed". If you manage to finish on a positive note, you should have positive emotions. If you finish in a bad space, or on the wrong note, what you experienced in terms of a void of emotions is somewhat to be expected unfortunately. The first step is correcting the loop. If you start feeling threatened by ominous presences start singing, make a commotion, just experiment with what may work for you.

This last time I did have music, it was a radio station playing on the lowest level which seemed to keep me aware that I am still human. I understand smoking dmt drunk is stupid but I was scared of it more than before until I experienced it drunk. I felt a sense of relief that it isn't as scary as I perceive it to be and came out of it in complete euphoria, even though I think it wasn't positive experiences. Do you think being drunk affects the breakthrough in any way? I do not see how my soul would even be drunk, it was only when I came back when I started forgetting it.

Two suggestions:

1) Don't smoke DMT when you're drunk.
2) Don't smoke DMT in your car on the way to school.

What do you really expect? If you take a knucklehead posture with DMT, you are going to have more than your share of unpleasant or difficult experiences. Don't come at it so skeevily, and you may find them to be more positive.

You're being told you can't come back because, in my view, you are doing DMT in a highly irresponsible manner. Put down the bottle, as others have said, at least on the days you want to puff, and, really, dude, doing it in your car? Come on. Wouldn't it be funny if a cop knocked on your window while you were smoking? No, I didn't think so either.

You might want to try changa for a gentler ride, or make a brew of some kind and develop your relationship with this molecule so many of us consider sacred.

set and setting my friend set and setting
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...&m=482668#post482668

Thanks for the advice guys I didn't think before I did it and I do realize it is highly irresponsible. So it isn't anything evil that attacks me but more of my lack of responsibility and respect for the substance? How should I improve the next time I smoke? Should I wait a while? Would it be wise to do it with a small group of friends while camping one night? Should I learn to meditate? I have been trying to start meditation and using positive energies to improve my life recently but I am only in the earliest stages of that phase.

Also, I haven't been to happy with my life recently because I feel like I am unmotivated, do things without thinking and just live to live. I feel like this has to do a great deal with how my journeys are affected. Do you guys think a person that isn't motivated and irresponsible but does not realize this one bit can have a positive experience because they aren't aware of it?

Anyone can have both positive and negative experiences. You simply throw off the odds when you introduce certain elements into your set/setting.

I have a friend who is negative most the time, unmotivated, ect ect.

He hasnt once had a rough ride. He also goes into it with zero ideas, thoughts, anything. He says he just takes the hit and waits to see what dmt shows him.

How experienced is he with the substance?

hey there

try smoking dmt near or close to water, it has an amazing effect on me, lots of people claim that the effects on dmt are enhanced when taken close to water.

http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=1845

^^^ this guy goes into detail why he believes DMT is a water spirit, worth a read

Fasting, eating light vibration food for a few days before (raw fruit and veg, no spicey food, no meat or dairy) might help, try doing some body work, detoxing, making your body cleaner, it helps me with my shroom trips, could work with dmt too

Peace

...and he also died tripping in his bathtub.

I'm just sayin...

Here's my two cents, keep in mind I have pretty much the same experience level as you, but I haven't had a bad experience yet and my day to day life seems to have a similar feeling to yours.

I too have been unmotivated and "in the moment" in the worst kind of way sometimes, but I've found that this just provides more area to possibly integrate your experiences into. It gives you more room to apply what you have learned than a person who feels completely happy and enlightened. That's not to say being completely happy is a bad thing of course . My experiences have actually helped to change my outlook, and improve those issues. It's not a cure-all of course, but given proper integration and the good grace of the spice, improvements can definitely occur.

I agree with most of what's been said before, set and setting is EVERYTHING, especially if your mind feels like a dark place regularly. Do this with a clear head, in private, somewhere you feel completely safe. I've found my bed works best and I'm sure many would agree with that. IME music hasn't done much other than distract, but I do agree with Global, if you're stuck in a loop then that distraction may be just what you need, though I'd be careful about song choice. Many people recommend something without a beat, I'd say at least leave out lyrics. First thing that comes to mind for me is post-rock groups like Mogwai. Tool, Pink Floyd, ICP, all that type of stuff is great with weed, not so much DMT.

Meditation sounds like a great idea as well, even if it clears your mind only a little bit, it's still helping, and meditating is a great practice for just everyday life as well.

I do have to disagree with the suggestions to smoalk near water though, I've read a few stories of that ending badly, and given the experiences you've been having, I'd call blacking out a real threat. Of course, if you're in your room at home, that's absolutely fine and you really shouldn't worry about it, near hazards, well, that's another story...

Take a break if you feel you need it, integrate what you've seen as best you can, and when the time and set and setting are right, go for it, it's all a learning experience

yeah from ketamine... damn that must of been horrible!

Still his writings on the issue do ring true with me, I find being close to or even just looking at water on DMT is very grounding ... worth a try, it cannot do any harm

And I believe there was a user on her a couple of years ago (Olympus Mons maybe?) who lost a friend, who woke up one morning while they were camping, went out on the dock with his pipe and dmt and drowned. Smoking dmt near a body of water or in a bathtub full of water is a bad idea. If you really must, smoke near a glass of water.