When I focus, I get the distinct sensation that various body parts are made of tissue that belongs somewhere else. What's unusual about it is that the tissue eventually starts shifting and, what I initially thought to be distorted perception turned out to be, in fact accurate. It's the everyday perception of my body that's distorted.

So I'm finally about to see a neurologist, but I'm not quite sure how to describe what's happening. As you may imagine, the primary care doctor had no idea whatsoever what I was talking about. Worse still, I couldn't find any condition that clearly matches the symptoms through google search.

*forgot to mention that my baseline mental states have also been noticeably affected by this

Fascinating concept. Elaborate more. How do you even begin to describe the sensation to a health professional? By 'belongs somewhere else' what exactly do you mean?

Well if you really think about it your body is a makeup of 3.8 billion years of evolution. Everything changes into something else.. Who really knows where that tissue of yours originated from?

It's not a theory, but really happening. As soon as I settle and focus on the body, the spot with the most tension makes itself known, then the tension keeps moving around like a wave. While this is happening, I get something that I would not call visuals, but it's more like a diagram of what's happening in the body, like those 3d models used in animation.

The wave is nerve impulses, but while I long believed the sensation to be just my perception of muscles relaxing, the tissue is in fact rearranging on a micro and macro scale. Like what used to be the top of my nose is now part of the right cheek, tongue is merging with the top of the mouth and a new tongue is forming from the esophagus etc. The base of what used to by my **** is now part of my inner thigh, no kidding. Everything is mostly pulled up, but the merges and separations happen in all directions, by themselves. When it's happening in the face, after the wave moves within for a while, it starts moving the face muscles into expressions that I've never been capable of forming, accompanied by emotions I've never before felt, all coming and going in quick succession while I'm half watching, half participating.

I have no idea how to explain it to a doctor, and that's why I'm looking for something similar that's documented and makes sense to people.

Just noticed your avatar: that's exactly the kind of shifting I'm trying to describe, except it's happening in 3D, and there's a trace left behind that basically rearranges everything.

I did not take it for theory. But as this is not of my own subjective knowledge, it manifests itself conceptually in my mind..

and adding to subtle thoughts here and there I've picked up from different places and people I have spoken with. It is specifically reminiscent of my experiences on mescaline. I did not hallucinate, rather the world around seemed to be composed of diamonds, or sand, shifting dust. I saw everything broken up into microscopic patterns - on my face in the mirror, the wallpaper, even the air seemed to rifle in slight pulsation, a tissue of it's own mesophyl and genera. The sensual world is like an infinitely dense fabric that is in constant flux, constant succession of inhale exhale in out coalescing.

It also reminds me of what I learned about the fascial membrane through intensive cranio-sacral // massage therapy. It is fascinating to me that you are able to feel the energy flow. I cannot, but my therapist - very experienced in her practice and spiritually advanced teacher - could feel, and manipulate that flow.

Do you meditate a lot?

you should see an acupuncturist or other TCM practitioner and consult them with this issue.

@ thymamai: I only emphasized that my "transformation" is something actually happening because of the nature of this site, and the many subjective experiences posted here. I honestly believe that the process would be very interesting to some medical researcher somewhere, but it's a hassle for the primary care doctor.

I'm starting to get an intuitive understanding of how emotions are physically stored inside the entire body, and how to release them. For a long time I've been very bothered by certain sounds -just getting supper annoyed for no reason. Then, one day I started feeling a shock in the stomach area when the trigger was present. Now I'm at a stage in the process where when the sound hits me, I feel the inside of my ear go into a spasm that pulls my eyes, ears and middle of throat towards a spot behind the nose creating tension in the face, which then propagates down the esophagus until it reaches the stomach area, constricting everything along the way. On the bright side, there seems to be an alternate pathway that I can use to reverse these changes.

If I'm standing and the waves start flowing, it seems like everything is being pulled towards a spot right below the top segment of the 6-pack, as into a vortex. I have this vortex pattern imprinted all over.

@magikalex: I would be curious if some alternative medicine practitioner could shed some light, but it's hard to find a good one and the sessions aren't covered by insurance. I used to meditated, but then I stopped and couldn't get back into it because as soon as I stand still things start moving inside the body and my attention just follows that flow.

I have a hard time imagining what you are perceiving. did this happen after you took dmt?

Whilist in the dmt trance i thought about what you are experiencing. You do know cells regenerate from time to time? This might be a possible explanation but it doesn't explain the whole deal i am sure.

While in the dmt trance at first i saw a vortex of little blobs and a teaching spirit and then i saw these constantly fluxing patterns, like little lego blocks constantly moving in and out of position. Then i was pushed back into my body and had the peculiar sensation of being a cell or tissue in my own brain. Might possibly be confusion because after 5 minutes or so i realized i was looking at my own ceiling and hair covering my face. I thought they where regions of my brain i was looking at at first.

According to some eastern philosophies or so i've heared alan watts state that in eastern religions consciousness is in the solar plexus area. The vortex is supposed to be a structure that facillitates out of body travel and mimics the state of a black hole.

Very interesting though, and i'm sure some biologist will have a field day trying to figure out what is going on. Again, i have a real hard time imagining what it feels like for you.

It has nothing to do with DMT or any other drug, and it's not spiritual either (unless you consider connecting emotions/moods to the physical body as spiritual). Something is really wrong with my wiring, and just went through another frustrating attempt at explaining it to a doctor that kept telling me by blood test results are good.

Basically, as a result of some quite rare circumstances, my body reached its limits as far as autonomic adaptation goes. From that rock bottom place, I managed, through experimentation, to understand some of the automatic patterns in the body, and also gain some control (using different pathways that normal ones, unfortunately).

The problem is that the deeper I go, the more complex the puzzle seems to get, and as I'm moving from the skeletal muscles inwards, towards the center of the body, it seems like every little change has an effect on everything. Also, a few days ago,after spending some time just sitting in a chair, focusing on my facial muscles shifting around, I suddenly felt this warm sensation inside my nose, which turned out to be massive bleeding from both nostrils.

Got a referral to see a neurologist, hopefully I'll find someone interested in whatever is going on with me. I've also been looking into volunteering for brain scans.

It's a strange case you're offering tango. From what you say I gather it's bothering you... Now I read in your last post you've been bleeding? Well that is a sign something needs atttention and maybe some kind of fix or treatment, but wait a minute and take some breath...

Usually things that occur in the body and are consciousness related, that aren't directly affected by others through any way, those aren't neccessarely what they appear to be. Let's take the stance that these things present a kind of teaching, yeah not to go on the whole tour with that, but you can be assured the body and unconscious have a way to bring issues to your attention.

I know what it's like to be affected by something you can't wrap your mind around, that disturbs the foundation of being here and now in a state that is comfortable. You're talking about neurologists blood tests, etc, but suggest nothing shows up. Basically I learned that you only need the hospital and people who studied medicine when it's already too late. So if there's an urgent issue that needs help, follow your hunches.

You see, when something isn't some hard-knocked damage to your body in ways that are readily visible to others, especially hard-headed medicine post-graduates, then there's a likely chance life present the solution and insights through other means. Now be delicate in this, cause I am not in a position to assess your situation.

But hey, what do you expect? Something like this isn't readily to be advised upon...

See, i knew my understanding was faulty. I guess what i said isn't quite relatable to you. Sorry for that. I wasn't aware.

It's not like you have been in a pressurized environment or something? My first guess would be something to do with red blood cells not behaving as they should. But you say blood test seemed okay. And even if it is something to do with blood circulation.. Just knowing that won't help either. You could try different breathing patterns. But i'm sure you have focused your attention on many things.

I hope you will figure it out soon. And if you do, i think we would all be interested to hear the results. The important thing is that you get well though. I'm sure you will find someone that can help you further on with that.

There's plenty of obvious damage, but no one bothered to look at the big picture when it mattered. Also, I know what's happening from the perspective of a guy watching it unfold (both in the mind and in the mirror).

Today I discovered that I need to hum, as there is some tightness in my body that starts releasing only if I create vibrations using my vocal cords and various sources on noise in the environment. I also discovered how a certain "tzzz' noise that I tend to make when I'm very annoyed is physically generated and there whether I choose to voice it or not.

whatever i am going to say might sound ridiculous ...........yet

you need to immediately stop focusing on your body

your mind is manifesting , and not in a positive way

start focusing your attention on something else in life like music,art,movies,dancing ........there are a lot of things

until you stop focusing on your body these problems will only continue to get worse

check out some threads about concentration techniques to control your mind or with enough negative manifestation you might end up really bad ( as in dead )

edit : i am not joking , i have experience of causing pain in my body and healing it aswell just with the mind , the healing requires us to stop focusing on our body and pain and put up our attention somewhere else (check out sound and breath technique i've mentioned in many threads )

to cause pain to your body you can try a trick start focusing on a body part and keep fousing , ultimately youll have a problem

@jin: not applicable, but thank you for taking the time to think about my problems.
The process feeds on my attention and to stop it now would leave me in the worst limbo. Again, there is nothing mysterious about it; it's just mysterious because there is no standard fix.

Hi Tango,

I'd say that the first route is to try to rule out something serious physical.
Yet, as I understand you, you describe that it are mainly sensations and some very subtle muscle contractions etc?

I guess the conclusion you might get from a western diagnoses might be something in the range of a distorted body image.

From the point of view from an acupuncturist (as which i happen to be trained) i'd say, from what you tell here, that you suffer from a condition that is diagnosed as 'wind'. There are some variations in that, and the connections with certain emotions can give further clues.

It is actually treatable with acupuncture or herbs, that is, if it is wind. Furthermore, diagnosing it as wind, doesnt say that there can't be any serious physical problem as well (causing wind), but it might be an entrance for treatment...

PS; to make a better diagnosis, i'd have to ask you a lot of (maybe strange) questions to pinpoint the exact pattern. In TCM a diagnosis is always a pattern. So the nosebleeding is one clue, but it's interesting to know then, do you have nosebleeding more often, or temporal headaches, tremors, do you sleep wel, nightmares, etc. etc., to pinpoint the exact pattern...

@cheiron: Good to hear from an acupuncturist, as I'm considering looking for someone who knows about alternative stuff. So far, my progress was purely based on pushing something so far that the body responds with some sort of clue regarding what to do next, until I eventually get it.

I'm bad at describing what's happening, and from the feedback I can see I made it sound vague and somewhat new agey. But it's none of that. It's the spiral. As for the symptoms, they have been extremely debilitating in every possible way. After much googling of "twist imprinted in the body " and similar constructions with no relevant results, it finally dawned on me: the most natural way to grow without changing shape is a spiral pattern extending from the center. Nature doing its thing, without much concern about fucking up one individual.

Any suggestions on how to deal with logarithmic growth?

* recent development I just noticed: I get these waves of goose bumps, which result in body hair splitting at the root. So I'm becoming increasingly hairy

I'd say you will have to deal with both the physical, emotional and mental aspects or your condition. It is obviously affecting you on all areas. In the TCM, things like worry or fear can both be connected to or caused by disease patterns. I guess it goes beyond what we can do here to help you... Good luck with finding someone that can guide your healing!

Woah, Tango! I never could have imagined anyone describing it so well. I realize that most everyone in this thread is bewildered, but I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. God damn is it a trip to hear that come from another person. What are the odds, huh? Right down to those two-and-three pronged body hairs, and how it's just so damn much work to get the base of my dick untangled from my thigh.

I was reading this thread, thinking how damn similar my own experience was to such a peculiar relation, and then I noticed that it was You who posted! We traded a good many PM's a while back on the subject of our similar adventures in strange, torturous ailments! I'm sitting here giggling in wonder at this whole damn thing. I hope you've been well, brother. It's been some time. It would be great to catch up and bounce some ideas back and forth again; I'll send you a PM if you don't mind?

---

Let me just say, if only because there's not a damn soul on the planet I've met other than you who can relate:
Keep on keepin on, man. I know every day is so much more exhausting than the last, and it seems like it'll only ever get harder, deeper and more confounding. But it's all we can to just to keep a shoulder to the wheel, right? That's the only way out of this godforsaken catch 22.
You are a goddamn hero for making it this far, I mean it. And really, thank you for sticking around. I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face at knowing that there's at least one other person in the world going through this. It means the world. <3

@quicksilver: hey man, good to hear from you - I do remember exchanging messages a while back. I guess I've made a whole lot of progress since then, but it only got me deeper in the hole; if at the time I saw it as an issue affecting the skeletal muscles (which is bad enough), I now realize that it's imprinted in everything that has to do with my body, my senses, and my mind.

I could write many pages about the sheer oddity of it all, but I do understand that not many people relate. The medical establishment sees it as new agey and bad, while the alternative crowd sees it as new agey and good, but in the same category as eccentric theories about elves and what not. Meanwhile the damn hair is dividing like crazy, sometimes in two, sometimes in three, with the resulting follicles spreading out a bit and continuing to grow on their own like nothing's wrong there.

Back when I saw it as a skeletal issue, it was still not that bad. Where I am now, I need to bring more and more into play for the process to continue on the right path. It actually feels like a game where you can only move to the next step if you can solve a puzzle. But when the pieces of your puzzles are the very things that keep you alive, accessing them via pathways you know you're not supposed to feels more like attempting suicide than getting in shape at the gym. Every time I interfere with something that normally goes on unattended, the system hands over more control, but I increasingly get the feeling that something can go wrong there. It's tight rope.

Something I've been struggling with lately is sound. While I can do any contortions I want and massage my body all I want, I can't really make weird loud sounds because of my current living situation. So today I went to see someone in a small town, and since I had some time to kill before meeting them, I went for a walk, by myself. The snow and cold kept everyone else in, so I figured I'd try humming a little. Before long, I was howling like an Indian chief. Weird, scary noises that just came out on their own, louder and louder. While I did realize it would have been a bit strange for a passer-by to witness that, when I removed my headphones to get a more accurate idea, it was a 'holy fuck!' moment. Scary!

It's also interesting that, while the plan was to walk around for a few minutes as it was really cold, and windy, and wet, I ended up being outside for over 3 hours. The wind and the melted snow in my shoes suddenly hit me when I passed by some guy loading his car and and to stop making noises reminiscent of the loony house.

This is getting too long so yeah, it's good to hear someone, somewhere can relate ))