Before I write all this... I would like to just add that I am not trying to preach or hammer this into your head.... it is only a suggestion.... an idea... a perspective and im sure im not the first to think of it like this.... so enjoy....


There are many theories about god out there. But there is one out there that sticks to me the most. Many of them don’t make sense. Considering that yes, the matter in our bodies may have played a role in the creation of the universe but we as human beings did not. We will probably never know but then again what is there to know. I am just going to throughout a suggestion. A suggestion inspired by an experience I experienced in my youth while on acid.

Most of the experience is a blur but a particular moment of clarity showed its profound face within all the chaos and nonsense. It is enlightening to a point and when I begin to apply the concept to our world it beings to become dark and uncomfortable.

I was in a livening room of my buddies’ house. There were four of us including myself. We were laughing hard after we had just all played around with an imaginary invisible ball. Wish I could relive that excitement.

It came to a moment of where I was no longer seeing four individual bodies, four individual personalities. I was no longer seeing four individual people who were separate and alone from others and the world around them.

I perceived four different characters being played by one actor, as if the universe was a grand movie with billions of billions of different characters but all being played by one actor, the actor, God for lack of a better word.

This was very enlightening at first but over time it has greatly hindered and handicapped me and has lead me many times to consider and carry out my own suicide. Here is why…

I took this perspective and applied it to the world that I am and living out of. I feel a lot of guilt; an unbearable plague of responsibility and accountability for my fellow human beings and surroundings which are all me.

You see… It is I who is murdering, raping and abusing millions of others on this planet… As much as it is I who is receiving it. It is like this planet we call earth is the place where god (me, you) has come to kill himself. I am not implying god is male but language is rather limited. This greatly concerns me. Here is why…

I am going to borrow the words of someone else but can’t remember his name. Anyone who thinks its normal that we are on some vegetated rock flying near and around some bright hot fire ball. Souring through space at speeds that cannot be comprehended is normal. Those who think that is normal who are ultimately me. The actor inside; are incredible stupid.

What I am trying to say. Is that this is the spiritual world. We live in it. We breathe it. We are the spiritual world. It sounds kind of phony when I say it… It probably is. We are the supreme actor and as of right now we have created a world that resembles hell and it is progressively becoming more hellish. Our children and their children’s children will have to live in this world. Who are ultimately us an extension of us. We will eventually live through them when our individual illusionary self’s that we have become to believe is who we are; are gone. Do we want this for them who are ultimately us. In disguise as another character.

What is so great about us is that we can change that. We can choose not to commit suicide and walk away from this path of destruction. We can turn this hell and change it into something that resembles heaven. But we all have to want it.

Bill Hicks; a dead but very funny, deep and bright individual describes this dream very well that I to dream about.

Bill Hicks said once upon a time…
“You know all that money we spend on the military and weapons?, Which is trillions of dollars. Let’s take all that money and feed and take care of everyone. Not one person excluded… So that we can explore space forever in peace.

since the Godself within you or just you have gone on to blatantly speak about all this

the Godself withing me could not resist but say a few things .........

the rest of the post is in first person perspective as God for there is no other way for my Godeslf to speak these facts .......

I am he who shines the stars it is I who lights up the whole universe and the multiverse , it is I who spins creation every moment , it is I who am the ant , it is I who am the hurricane , it is I that am the comet , it is I who you see everywhere when you look out of your eyes , it is me who hear when you listen ,

I am the creator , I am the created , I am everything and nothing and beyond all that , the best way to understand me is as TM pointed out " the Aeon is a child at play "

when you talk about suffering on the planet , the wars , pollution and all the suffering not only experienced by humans but the whole environment , when humans fight wars don't you think animals , plants and other entities get hurt

you're just looking at the smaller picture , even if this whole planet ends there are many others that will still go on , life is here for the experiment and fun

I created for fun , not for destruction , man may fight and go on doing more moronic things yet to me it is as if ants are fighting , quarelling or raping one-another , I can't help but laugh at how foolish they are

I cannot be killed , so when you talk about killing yourself , you're only going to damage the vehicle I have given you to experience life and understand yourself , me and our oneness

sure there is a lot of pain in the world , when you experience it so do I , human , animals , plants , all of creation the whole multiverse is just my sense organ , when you experience pain or joy , it sends me signals back and forth to understand whats going on in that area of creation and how to change it or not

every living entity is only an extension of myself relaying data back to me , that is what the purpose of all this is, its the most grand scientific - psychedlic - artistc experiment in the history of eternity , that is what life is

if you choose to kill your body , you'll lose that vehicle and no more experience this so called life and data coming back to me from that corner of the universe will be interupted

I will still go on , there is no death for me , the grand experiment will keep going on and evolving

if you choose to live life and change the world in a positive way as you see fit , you'll experience life , you'll understand yourself and I more intimately ,

just give up everything and become one , stop all thinking about anything , breathe deeply and listen to the sound , pay attention to breath all the time and become one

your thinking is just you , it is not me , when you find clarity and become one , you'll realize that there is no wars , no pollution , no humans , no animals , no plants , no planet , no universe , no multiverse , no nothing .............only I exist , I am Awareness itself , so give up you incessant thinking and surrender to Awareness

to give up all thoughts pay attention to breath and external sounds at the same time

when you become one with I , you'll have even more power to change the world around you , it is your continuous thinking process that is robbing you of energy to change the world around you

.........remember this now ......God does not commit suicide , such things can be only thought up by a human mind for it is so limited and fearful , life is a very strong experience , just like people can't handle psychadelics and freak out there are humans freaking out with life and killing themselves or others , raping , polluting and what not

a human who kills himself is only as good as another who kills some else , the path of destruction whether internal or external is only of human making

all suffering on this planet is only of human making , the planet was gifted perfect to us , the food and fruit grows itself , man does'nt even need to farm or grow food if he stops chopping trees there would be so much food literally that there would be no hunger on the planet and not one being , not man , animal , bird , insect , fish , plant ........literally everyone will be fed

apologies , if this post was very authoratative , yet the Godself is the way the Godself is

no no no.... no need for apologises.... I feel the same way when I read some of your words.... but you know.... I am human and I tend to get in the way a lot.... there is a lot to learn and read and to experience.... I will always do my best to remain open minded... so please don't apologise... have lots of trouble expressing myself on paper.... but I feel that this grand actor or god or the godself.... plays everything.... including objects that we would consider not alive.

right now I am in a stage of reflecting all these powerful experiences... language is not my strength... its very hard for me to fit it all into words... it frustrates me but the experiences explained them in better ways than these little sentences can do...

I think that most people here can relate very strongly to your experience. I feel that I have had identical experiences myself. That being said, having this type of experience is easy (perhaps too easy). The challenging part is getting through this stage of helplessness so that we can truly explore the meaning and mechanisms of our experience, and in so doing learn how to be most useful to our fellow man.

To echo something that Jin said:


If you are repulsed by God's self-destruction, then why would suicide cross your mind? We are all in this together, and you (your life), as an extension/reflection of God, are a universal investment. A success for you is a success for everyone. If you think that we are all manifestations of God, then you should treat everyone, including yourself, with the utmost respect and sanctity. Become the person you've always wanted to be and, above all, be happy.

this ^^