So here's the thing, I'm not entirely sure if I've had a psychedelic experience or not, which may sound odd but really isn't. You be the judge:
I've tried Harmalas once, and though I don't remember exactly how many grams of ground Syrian Rue seeds I consumed, I am absolutely positive that it was a HUGE dose. Like, half a cup.
After downing the nasty gunk with some water, I sat down to read a book assuring myself that I wasn't gonna be sick. How downright naïve of me to think so...
Sure enough, in about 20 minutes (give or take), with the most intense wave of nausea I've endured in my existence, I rushed to the bathroom; to which I barely made it and threw up all over the floor.
I felt so sick the first few minutes that I don't remember much of what was going on in my head, but after that, as I was sitting in the bathroom waiting for the next wave that was sure to come, I remember feeling “foggy”, like I was standing right on the border between wakefulness and dreaming. I felt strangely calm, so calm and motionless that I could feel my heatrbeat slowly rocking my body back and forth. I remember finding the whole vibe, of a humorous nature. Stuff like the fact that I was “pretty likely to die right there” and that “people were gonna wonder just what the fuck it was I did to myself” seemed amusing to me. But it wasn't just that; it was like I finally understood the true nature of reality and was like “that's what's going on and we've been stirring such bullshit all along?! Oh you sneaky bastard...!
)”
In between episodes of hurling what I was worth, I just sat there with my eyes closed kinda drifting into thought... I noticed whatever I started thinking about reached the same conclusion that “nothing really matters!”, and so quickly ! As if all the thought processes were taking place ten times faster. Which looking back now, I think had to do with the altered perception of time.
Every now and then I'd snap back feeling like I was falling to find that I wasn't. One of these times before drifting back to thought, I heard some sort of music. It wasn't music though, I knew for a fact that there was no music being played in that place at that time, still do. It was more like all the ordinary sounds of the night, like insects, humming of the AC, the wind etc. were in such harmony that made the whole thing sound like music. Good music. I was struggling to stay alert so I could listen. And yes, I already knew it had to be the famous auditory hallucinations of Harmalas.
At some point I heard my mom calling me, and though she wasn't that far away I was too weak to answer. She came and saw the whole mess and assumed it was just food poisoning (which it was, in a sense...
) and took a load off my mind by cleaning the place; the interesting part though was that I couldn't even say a single word to her! The second I opened my mouth whatever I was gonna say would turn into a big “hurrrrrrrrlllll...!” and a dive for the toilet. Somehow I managed to assure her I was gonna be ok and she left.
By this time the periods of semi-conscious racing thoughts seemed to get longer and more sleep-like. I didn't really feel much better or any less likely to wanna throw up, but I was really tired; the thought of crawling under covers and going to a peaceful sleep was enough for me to convince myself there really was nothing left in my stomach to throw up and I could go to bed.
The dreams I had that night were quite unusual. They were vivid and detailed; and it was much more difficult to not think they came into my head from “out there somewhere”. The same daily stuff were arranged and processed in a way completely unlike how my mind normally operates.
So there you have it, the experience I'm sure was somewhere down the “off” road, just not quite sure how far.