One orange, kiwifruit, lemon and 5g of dried mushrooms. Blender time. Consumed a whole thing in one gulp.
Walked to the bedroom where sleeping bag and hiking matt where waiting for me...(gonna ride this one out while i lie on the floor alone in the darkness of the night)
30 min had gone by while i think about my self, others, life... and i notice the familliar sensation around my eyes. That so familiar electric tickle. I say to my self no turning back now my friend just relax, let go of everything and let it happen. For the next couple of minutes silence and darkness sourund me.
My heart reveals it's presence to me. It beats with thunderous and shaking power like i never felt before. Feals like the centre of me. I struggle to keep it down for a second but get riminded of my promise to my self to let go, so i did.
My heart becomes furnace. It burns with ferocius power. With each beat my body shakes and i merge with things around me. I'm expanding.
I'm jolted in to a sitting position and i raise my hand like E.T. reaching up in to the air...
"YOU ARE EVERYTHING.YOU ARE ONE, ONE WITH EVERYTHING" I laugh at my self while i still have some fading distant memory of who i am in this physical world. "Yes,yes you are one how could you forget it?...but it's nice to forget...makes the remmembering that much more unique."
Mantra keeps repeating while i lay back down and dissolve into everything.
I am sensing something, something...mechanical...but with SOUND and LIGHT.
It's working diligently such a strange and familiar sensation.
I suddenly know "who" or "what" it is. It reveales it self to me, there is no form to it but it's everything and nothing at the same time. Ultimate paradox.
"IT" slowly takes control over my body and lets me know that i can remain on some level myself(human part of me) and on other level I AM IT. My arms start to move on their own. They draw and make signs and symbols that i can't comprehend but deep down i know that this are sacred symbols.
Then it SPOKE to me.
I was told how and why universe was and is...how it came to be. Things told to me have long been forgotten by my pyshical self...like distand dream, still incomprehensible by human intelect and indescribable by human language.
Then conversation moved from this "general", which was still over my *uking head description of creation, to very intimate one.
IT IS ALL ALONE. Why is it all alone it kept asking? The loneliness and sadness was to much to bare. It all came to a point where it screamed in eternal agony of solitude. WHAY AM I ALL ALONE??!!!! my brain was getting fried and the whole creation rumbled.

I remember thinking at that moment "we" just woke up my naighburs living downstairs. Such a silly little thought. All of this was happening in one single moment and it was to much for human part of me and i released my bladder.
Eons pass as i lie in my body fluid sorunded by saddnes and loneliness. All alone.
I come to accept who or what i am. Guess that is me. I feel relief. Love.
I AM MOTHER AND FATHER OF EVERYTHING.˝What you are is this deep deep thing...and you love to play.˝ - ?