I have seen what I perceive to be flashes of impossible beauty, more art than has been or will ever be created by mere men. I've used vapes and machines with freebase and bongs with changa, and yet my experience has not been as described by Terence Mckenna or by anyone else.

Whilst melted to my bed in sweet bliss, groping my thick hot skin, I have bonded with this drug that is different to the crazy interdimentional vehicle, DMT, as defined by most others. No breakthroughs leading through tunnels. No self dribbling jeweled basketballs. Just feelings of absolute content and happiness.

I would spend all of eternity in the sweet embrace of the spice and it's colours but what I really want is to break though to the other side. I've loaded with up to 50mg of spice at a time and worked my technique so that I don't cough and I get as much as I can take. When I get to a point where I can't inhale anymore, I take the mouthpiece out and hold it in as long as physically possible. I usually take 3 or more hits and have even taken upwards to 10 with changa. There's no crumbling geometry with eyes open, no ringing noise or pressure building. I just feel dislocated from my physical being, as if I'm pure consciousness floating above me and then am flooded with closed eyes-only visuals. Am I somehow resistant?

I use an Arc torch lighter and a quality machine and bong.

I wrote this in darkness with a beautiful orange glow silhouetting my head on the wall with 'The Doors - The End' playing so I feel godlike, like my words are extremely poetic. I apologize for any pretentiousness and for the length of this pointless post. I feel I had to share something though. Where better than this brilliant and communal forum?

First, welcome to the Nexus!

Ever thought about trying some Aya.

When you vape are you mixing with anything or just vaping straight up.

I find 50mg in my GVG would blow my head off, too much. It probably has something to do with your vaping technique, try using a standard Bic lighter they don't burn quite as hot as a torch lighter might be the problem.

I wouldn't use a bic with the GVG. You run the risk of clogging the filter with soot. Just back off on the torch a bit if you want to cleanly reduce the temperature.

Also, to the OP, if you don't really get open eyed visuals, I wouldn't sweat it too much. I would concentrate on maintaining your focus on your closed eye visions. Sometimes you also don't wanna take too long in the smoking process. If you're holding it in as long as you can, and that's for more than 15-20 seconds, I would just exhale after 20 seconds. Maybe even take 2 hits instead of 3. Sometimes it really pays to get a smaller amount of DMT in you in a shorter duration than a larger amount over a long duration.

Are you certain you did not breakthrough?

OK, OK...me myself...my lungs have the advantage (disadvantage) of several (previous) years of weed, and I am (embarrassed to say) tobacco (ab)use..

So inhalation of lung-fulls of DMT vapour, for me, is a walk in the park. Sykosis is probably right...its technique...it took me a while and a lotta wasted spice. I use a 'the machine' and Arc lighter with (not too fine) wire wool and I am very happy

Stick with it. Keep asking. Fingers crossed that you breakthrough.

Its fine if it's electric start. I found torch heat to high but thats just me

I would definitely advise using "the machine."

I breakthrough every single time, I don't know if I'm just naturally fortunate in this area however, as even on my first encounter with the spice I broke through. using half a plastic bottle and some tin foil around it, as I saw on a youtube vid.

Definitely look into "the machine" though?

Have you also considered that the quality of the spice may not be that strong.


Peace

Like other members said, i would use a normal BIC lighter for spice because of too much temperature would rather "harm" the spice itself. A torche becomes very useful when you are trying to vape 5-MEO.

On the other hand, each body is a distinct microuniverse. I have always think that while you are spice-tripping you see, hear, and feel what you are supossed to. There's a thing called Dharma, that tells you that the universe is a big puzzle and it does re-structures every single time to make be where you need to be when you need to be. In other words, dont push it, be graceful for what you have gotten so far, and it' will come whenever it must to. Peace .

If SWIY has any MAOI (syrian rue) around they should try pharmahuasca if vaporization or aya isn't quite revealing the eternal spirit world to them.

Good Luck breaking on through to the other side!

Your flame is probably too high then. Most torches have adjustable flame intensity.

If you are smoking that much in a dose, and believe that your methods are correct, my question would be are you taking any medication that could diminish the effects and cause a need for more to be effective?

If you really want to try to take as much as possible, go buy a two foot bong, load up with your dose, and smoke it all at once. The two feet of tubing should be enough to smoke it all in one hit, and the water cools the vapor so it shouldnt be to hard to hold in. I know you mentioned using a bong, but most people I have met use smaller ones, maybe half a foot.

When I find myself reading about DMT I notice huge differences from my own experiences. I remember listening to McKenna and hearing him like he was talking about "THE DMT EXPERIENCE." This was a mistake of mine. He was talking about A DMT experience. Just as meaningful/meaningless as everyone elses.

When I try to find similarities between my own and others experiences I begin to get frustrated because they are very different. Everyone is different; everyone's psyche is different and this will call for a different experience.

So you name the title of the thread "Will I ever fully experience DMT?"
This is a curious title. I feel maybe you are yearning for "THE DMT EXPERIENCE".. I am here to say there is no such thing. There is DMT and the experience it brings. Which is subjective to the user. Do not look beyond what you see. You might go mad ;]

Hope I am understanding your thoughts and I hope you understand mine.

Thank you for all your replies. I think I have the technique down and just need to be braver in taking hits and not becoming enveloped (and forgetting what a lighter, or fire for that matter, is) in the trip. It's tempting to just lie back immediately after the first and strongest hit. Aya is out of the question for now because I only have small windows where I can be undisturbed and alone.

I know everyone's experience differs completely but I've heard so much of the consistent and completely real 'hyperspace' that people can meet entities in. I am practicing patience and appreciating every second the spice gives me but I have never been in absolute awe at what I saw, I can't even remember most of it.

I don't have much more to say, just that I'll keep trying. I was hoping to relate my experience to those of others and get some kind of measurement of how far I went. Maybe others have similar experience on low doses and thus I'm not getting a high enough dose.