I broke through on DMT twice 3 days ago and about an hour ago. First time I took 2 hits (50mg) out of a freebase pipe and completely left my body/mind. The whole time I was panicking and hearing or feeling that I cannot return and "in rare cases, you get stuck in a DMT trip forever." It didn't feel like an eternity and was just really weird and like I wad completely powerless to it. I felt like the whole world just crumbled in front of me and it was somehow all my fault. I remember looking at my girlfriend who looked super worried and I could barely recognize her or anything around. When I came too I thought it was really weird but cool at the same time decided to wait 2 days. Today I smoked dmt and loaded 40mg in the freebase. I vaporized a pretty big hit probably like 35mg cause there was pretty much nothing left. It hit me very quickly, 45 seconds after the hit I am already in hyperspace (I recorded the whole trip on video). The same feeling of fear overcome me and it seemed even more intense then last time. I was once again getting thoughts and voices of being stuck forever and was completely powerless to stop them until 4 minutes later when I came out of it and was still slightly tripping but knew that I was ok and just like What the fuck happened.. I remember being in rooms that looked familiar and this generator room or something. Everything seemed like it was in grasp, every piece of information but the fear was overpowering my will to explore. Does this mean anything? Should I try DMT again? The second time I was convinced I am going to not ever do DMT again after I came to my awareness and realized I was ok but Now I feel like I need to explore further. As long as nothing happens to me and I actually don't get stuck in hyperspace. I have done many psychedelics, especially mushrooms where I had 2 bad trips out of about 20-30 experiences. Both times DMt trips I had I ended up sitting with my legs crossed and slowly lowering my head down where I would be sitting up but looking at my legs/crotch.
Any advice from fellow travelers? Should I work myself up with smaller doses?