I've had a handful of rather disturbing occurrences happen over the last few days, and I'd like feedback from The Nexus on it.

Three times now, I have had these strange episodes where everything goes 'funny.' It's extremely hard to describe qualitatively, but the best descriptor of it is that my directed focus just goes crazy.

The first step is I sort of zone out, staring off into space. My field of vision doesn't change, but the arrangement of objects seems to take on a new significance. Collections of things look kind of like part of some larger pattern. It becomes extremely hard to deliberately focus on something, my eyes kind of lock dead ahead and I end up feeling like I'm watching everything play out like a movie. It's extremely interesting.

Moving or reacting to anything becomes hard. My primary physical desire is of just wanting to sit still and not do anything. If someone calls my name, I can respond, but it feels like more work then is worth it and I tend to just mumble in response.

It happened once when I was driving and I nearly wrecked the car twice: once because I just failed to register that there was a car about to cross an intersection I was approaching and that I had to stop because I was so interested in the fact that a house down the road had a face, and another time because the road curved and I simply couldn't bring myself to actually turn the steering wheel.

Human interaction feels largely pointless and during the spells, it's kind of like whomever is in the room with me just kind of stops mattering. I can't really follow conversations.

These spells last about 5-10 minutes. When I am 'normal' I am an excellent driver (2 years of driving and I've never once been in an accident or gotten a ticket) and an outgoing, social guy.

Mental history: I'm a 19 year old male with a history of depression, anxiety and mild delusions, although I seem to have grown out of most of those (I'm very happy now). I've had three of these spells now, all in the last two days. I can remember having moments where I just sort of "zoned out" when I was younger, but no one made anything of it.

I have dropped LSD once (1 very weak blotter), and magic mushrooms and DMT a handful of times (none recently though, not for about two months). I have to say that these spells don't feel like I'm tripping. Kind of like I'm high on marijuana, but only in some ways.

Blessings
~ND

I hope you're ok. Do the symptoms feel at all like being on a psychedelic?

I don't have any medical training, but it sounds almost like it could be a form of epilepsy?
Do you have access to a doctor, I'd run those symptoms by a professional if I were you.

I don't think these sound like they are related in any way to your very light use of psychedelics. The idea of acid flashbacks is essentially a myth anyway. You may have reason for real concern. I would stay off all substances and if the episodes continue, talk to a doctor. This is no joke- what you are experiencing is not normal and can't be explained in light of your substance use.

But it's worth asking: have there been any other factors lately that could contribute? Sleep deprivation? Change of diet...?

are you stoned on cannabis when this happens ?

i can relate to the zoning out thing and feeling of moving or talking be more work than its worth, but you said a house had a face. Are you having hallucinations?

I do think a doctor would be wise in this situation. Especially since it has effected your driving in a dangerous way. It could be simply chalked up to a deficiency of some nutrients but thats what a doctor is for.



He said it feels kind of like he's high on marijuana, so if he was then I don't think he would use that as an example to how it makes him feel.

I have been totally substance free for about two months now. I've been sleeping well and my diet is largely the same, although I'm trying to eat healthier in general.

I have been engaged in a pretty stressful project: I'm directing a show for a local theatre festival and it's going terribly.

Anrchy: it's not hallucinations in the technical sense, I'm not seeing things that aren't there, it's more like things seem connected in weird ways, kind of like a pattern. It's very hard to describe.
When I said the house had a face, I mean that the arrangement of windows and doors looked like a face (two square eyes and a weird, open mouth). The thing is, the recognition of a face is so powerful that it overwhelms the recognition of a house, so it looks more like a face then just a random collection of windows and doors.

Does that make ANY sense?

This happens to me all the time when I'm on cannabis.

Per your guy's suggestions, I'm going to call my doctor when she gets back from vacation. I was doing some research of my own and it seems like there could be a lot of things.

It's may also be worth nothing that 3 of my mothers siblings have schizophrenia. I don't know if this is a symptom of schizophrenia (I'm not hearing voices or anything), but I only found out just last night.

Thanks guys
~ND

ya that totally makes sense. I can see what your saying. A doctor would be the next step, thanks for heading our call.

If by substance use, you are referring to experiences of sudden alterations of consciousness, then I don't see why "flashbacks" can't be caused by such experiences.

Nathaniel, what you're referring to sounds like something I have experienced at times and would refer to as "flashbacks". It's not like pink elephants or snakes on my dashboard or anything else that non-psychonaut culture envisions flashbacks to be like. Rather, it's like simply remembering what a psychedelic experience is like and, in so doing, having what feels like a mild psychedelic experience.

Consciousness and perception are peculiar phenomena. They are so complex that we have not been able to fully replicate them in computers yet. So the fact that people sometimes see things that aren't there, or fail to see things that are there, is not surprising to me. I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often, but I think the truth is that it happens all the time to everybody, and that our minds filter out these types of experiences. We fail to recognize the fragility of perception until something like psychedelic drugs opens our eyes.

Sounds sort of like depersonalization/derealization that I've experienced before. Never when sober for months on end, however....

You said you're substance free, but does that include prescription meds?

Absolutely no prescription meds of any sort.
I try to avoid all medications whenever possible and definitely try never to take prescription medication that will affect my consciousness.

Hixidom: by substance use, I mean taking in any molecule that will alter my consciousness.

To me these dont sound as much like flashbacks as they do a potential medical problem. I would suggest seeing a doctor as soon as you can to figure out what is causing these symptoms. If it turns out there is nothing that the doctor can find wrong, then the only thing wasted is your time by going. Even then, its not really a waste due to the fact that you are endangering yourself by letting this continue.

Whenever I have experienced flash backs, it was never like what you have described. Whenever they have happened to me, they only last about 5-10 seconds, not minutes. Everyone else I know who experiences flash backs say the same thing, that they are VERY short lived.

For example, there was a time I was riding in a car, thank god I was not driving, when the road quickly expanded to three times the usual width, and then shrunk back to nothing leaving a black gaping hole where the road should of been. This happened within 5-10 seconds and then the road came back as it normally should of been. This is by far the worst one I have experienced, and like I said thank god I was not driving because it freaked me the hell out.

i hate to be the bearer of bad news but this really sounds to me like epilepsy, contrary to common beliefs seizures are not always flat out convulsions, i only know this because i looked into it after having a rather violent seizure back when i was sixteen and havent had one since. in my case it was from severe stress from every area of my life.

if i were you i would finish organizing this festival and see if the episodes still occur, in the meantime i would recommend you not drive as this is a danger to both yourself and others.

if the episodes still occur after the stressful situation then i would strongly urge you to visit a doctor

It certainly does not sound like flashbacks. Even "LSD Flashbacks" and other psychedelic flashbacks are experienced for the same reasons that "non-drug related" flashbacks occur. In the most absolute sense, these flashbacks aren't caused specifically from the drug that they are related to. Essentially, these "drug related" flashbacks are experienced for the same reasons that any other flashbacks are experienced.

Most often, flashback occur because the mind isn't handling or processing an extremely traumatic experience, or just doesn't know how. Most certainly, if you have a very traumatic and frightening experience (weather it is war, childhood abuse, or a really 'bad' trip) then it is possible to experience a flashback.

When a flashback occurs, it is like a re-experiencing of the particular experience (being shot at in the jungle, being held under water as a child, demons eating your limbs in a bad trip) and they are identical and most often indistinguishable from the original experience. So, if you were a soldier in the jungle, a 7 year old child with your fathers hands around your throat, or were tripping extremely hard, it is that state of mind and feeling that you return to during the flashback. Essentially, if you were high or tripping during the time that you are "flashing back" to, then you will feel like you are high or tripping, if you were scared and crying, you will be scared and crying, if you pissed yourself, you will probably piss yourself, etc. etc.

However, even though most flashbacks are brought on by trauma, this is not always the case. Any "extreme and intense" experience in which the mind and emotions are excessively beyond what you are used to, could potentially result in flashbacks. Flashbacks of extreme sexual pleasure can even cause orgasms just as if the person experiencing the flashback were actually repeating the experience.

That being said, I really do not think you are having flashbacks. What I would be inclined to ask first is, "What is the average amount of sleep per night have you been getting for the last few months or so?" "How restful has your sleep actually been that you have been getting?" "How often do you wake?" "How long does it take to get back to sleep?"

You may wonder why I'm asking these questions, but while I agree that some of what you describe very well could fit the possibility of epilepsy, or even another type of -lepsy, they are also indicative of rest and sleep deprivation. Additionally, rest and sleep deprivation can, in some cases, cause (or at least make it more likely to experience) micro-seizures and sometimes full seizures, especially when coupled with stress and/or genetic predisposition.

Ultimately, my suggestion is simple.... See a doctor.

It could even be mini-strokes, that's how serious it can be. Please let us know when you come back from the doctor.

Called my doctor, she sounded concerned, but told me that it's probably stress-induced. I'm finishing up the festival in a week, and then going on a vacation for a few days. She said if, after I've had time to relax and unwind, I'm still having 'attacks' (as she called them), I should come in for some kind of examination.

Thanks guys, I'll keep you posted.
I've got to say, this is all very scary. I'm 19 and feel like I JUST got my mental health put together like a normal person. I'm too young for this crap

Blessings
~ND

Unfortunately this stuff shows up when you are younger, not when you are older. The important thing is that you are getting it checked out. Mental health issues can be very serious, I myself have experience somewhat with mental health problems and have a lot of family who has mental health issues. Its nothing to mess around with.

Stay safe, try not to drive until this is all figured out. We dont want you to be getting hurt or hurting someone else.

Don't think of it like that. Age is irrelevant, these are side-effects of being alive, whatever they are. You may get out stronger from the experience. Keep us posted, and try not to stress your brain, what's a job if you're not there to do it? Health first!

Hey Nat, how is it going? How's the festival preparation?

Any updates you'd like to share?

It looks and quacks like flashbacks. Seriously: Everyone "zones out" while driving sometimes. That's because driving is boring, not because you're having mini-strokes or micro-seizures. Flashbacks have never reflected a traumatic experience of mine, unlike EZ4U's suggestion. Flashbacks are just a kind of psychedelic daydream that people experience after using psychedelics because, well, they didn't know what "psychedelic" meant before using psychedelics. Everyone daydreams, and I would be concerned if you didn't. So if it's much more than that, then by all means see a doctor, but if it really could just be "zoning out" and daydreaming (i.e. "flashbacks" ), then there is no reason to jump to conclusions of a serious medical nature.

Let's not jump to conclusions that it "could" be daydreaming/zoning out. He clearly stated that it is a scary experience, and I am sure he has zoned out before (usually we start zoning out at school, and he's too old to have never experienced this). It could be daydreaming, it could be a small stroke, it could be something else. I know what approach I would follow, and I am urging others to follow the same: Doctor. Then relax. I am hoping you are not suggesting the opposite.