Hello fellow anonymous DMT users!
Last night, my brother and I attempted, for the third time in two months, to successfully administer an ayahuasca analogue. The week before, we had tried to take pharmahuasca. My dosage was 3 grams syrian rue followed by 80 mg freebase DMT. Unfortunately, for some reason or another, it did not work. I kept feeling like the trip was about to take off, but it never did.
Disappointed, and now hungry for hyperspace, we decided we would try an acacia confusa brew with a higher dose of syrian rue. My brother brewed up ~45 grams of powdered root bark, doing 4 separate 3 hour boils, and reducing it to about 24fluid ounces of liquid total.
So last night, we started out by preloading 3 grams of ground syrian rue, and waited an hour. It was still light out, so we passed the time by putting tiger stripe blankets up over the windows. After the hour was up, we took another 2 grams of rue, and each drank about 2/3 of our acacia brew.
I laid down on a couch, and immediately felt extreme nausea. Luckily I had a large bucket sitting next to me, because after about 30 seconds, my stomach lurched and I hurled violently into the bucket. My brother and I just laughed, and he started realizing that he might be tripping way harder than I would be very soon.
After a few minutes, I drank the rest of my brew. This portion went down much more nicely, and I only had mild nausea. Now, this might sound superstitious, but I got the feeling that the DMT wouldn't allow me to take that big of a dose. I felt like it was saying, YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MY FULL WRATH!
It only took 10 minutes for the tapestries on the wall to start dancing, and with eyes closed, I experienced rapidly shifting scenes of rooms inhabited by smiling pharaohs. The CEVs began really picking up speed. I entered a beautiful grove and saw Shakyamuni Buddha. He seemed like he was getting ready to teach me something, but I spun out of his realm and entered a purple sunset. An old, robed female entered my field of vision, put her hands together, and bowed to me. Then, she showed me a large black bird. I asked if it was a crow, but the answer I got was no, crows are associated with bad luck, and this was a hopeful bird.
By this point, a loud voice was babbling away in my head. I noticed it, and tried to focus on it. What I found, was that it was my usual stream of thoughts, but amplified so I could pay attention to it.
The visions and voice in my head began to fade, and the nausea returned. I looked at the clock, and found that it had been over 45 minutes since I drank the brew, so I decided I would purge again. After asking my brother how he was doing, (he seemed to be having a rough time), I went to the bathroom and purged everything in my stomach. Immediately afterwards, the wood grain over the toilet began breathing and splitting apart. I started feeling very intoxicated, and while peeing, missed the toilet completely
.
I stumbled back to the living room, and felt like I had to lay down. My brother said he was feeling quite nauseous, so he went and had a turn in the bathroom. The trip began increasing in intensity by the second. I began seeing swirling fractals in the ceiling, and pastel flower petals with eyeballs staring out at me.
I began to feel a mean spirit, the same one I sometimes meet on mushrooms, enter my mind, and proceed to make me feel absolutely awful. The wooden coffee table took on an evil vibe, and I felt like the spirit of the tree that the wood came from was pissed off. Behind closed eyes, I was seeing red and orange hyperspace realms, and they weren't feeling too kind.
I entered a state of mind that I frequently do on high doses of oral tryptamines, where I think, why do I keep tricking myself into doing this! It's so mean!! I felt like Terence Mckenna and everyone on Internet forums trick me into doing tryptamines so I can be tortured infinitely.
This period lasted for about half an hour, and suddenly, it was over as quickly as it had started. Feeling a bit more grounded, but still shaken up, I took deep breaths to calm down. A feeling of blissful relief began to flow through me, and I got a strong urge to put my palms together and thank the tryptamine for giving me such a powerful experience.
My brother took a bit longer to come back to baseline, and afterwards he told me had gone through a TOUGH experience, and he felt like he was fighting the whole time.
Laying back back on the couch, I drifted into a reflective state, an thought about why I take the DMT, and how I often forget how intense it can be. My brother and I both agreed that something we learn from DMT is that a sober state of mind is the best for feeling the flow of life, and that our minds are perfect the way they are without the frequent use of drugs. We've both had issues with cannabis habits, and we talked about how it effects us both negatively. (The habit, not the cannabis itself!)
Looking back, this experience was very intense, and I'm quite glad I wasn't able to hold down all of my brew. I feel like it knew what I needed, and what I could handle, and whooped my ass nonetheless. Although it was intense, I still feel like I only scratched the surface of the lessons I can learn, and I will definitely be having another ceremony, perhaps with b. caapi instead of syrian rue, as I know that many people favor it as a teacher.
On a side note, I feel quite open, spacious, and awake today. I meditated for a while in the morning, which deepened those feelings. I drank a cup of coffee purely out of habit, but that made me feel wayyyy too stimulated.. I think I need to stick with green tea, or nothing at all!!
Thanks for reading,
PEACE