WOW.

That is all that is available to me right now. Well, not quite.

A bit of an update: in the book I'm planning to write, I finally performed an extraction upon 50 g of MHRB using Cyb's tek. My yield after six pulls was ~400 mg (~0.8%), so either my bark was a bit weak or my technique was rough and negatively impacted the yield, both very possible. In any case, I was still very pleased with the fluffy, bright quality of the product I did recover, and was super excited to test it out. However, I've been nervous about the intensity of freebase ever since I began my journey here, and opted to make a small test batch of changa: 50 mg DMT, 25 mg crushed caapi vine, and 25 mg of mary jane. My girlfriend and I smoked this leisurely after the peak of an LSD trip between us, and though I recognized the effects we felt as mainly low-dose DMT experiences, we both agreed that this act made the descent from the acid peak absolutely marvelous! We were so glad to have tried it, and agreed that changa was definitely a fine ally, worthy of much gratitude and respect.

Still, I was curious about how much further the experienced could be pushed, especially just smoking it unto itself. I took the remainder of my DMT and put it into a new changa mix, this time using roughly 200 mg Pau d'arco, 100 mg passionflower, and 50 mg each of mullein and mugwort. Combined with my remaining 350 mg of DMT, this would be less potent than a straight 1:1 mix, but still very powerful with the right dosage. Now, I needed simply find the right time to journey.

I got done with work this afternoon with a spring in my step; the weather's been lovely, the bird's are chirping pleasantly, I event think some Cardinals have made their nest near my house (I hear them every morning these days). With the house to myself for a few hours, I decided today was the day! I hummed mantras to myself while I cleaned every dish in the house, an act of cleansing to benefit my partner and I while also boosting my positive attitude about the day and my setting. I then sat and did closed-eye meditation for about 20 minutes, then finished the meditation open-eyed in front of my tapestry hanging. 10 mintues later, I felt very centered and filled with calm and focus. I set up my little bong, placing a fair-sized pinch of changa on top of a screen in the bowl.

"Ok. I'm ready"

These are the words I remember thinking before I took my first hit. I was tender in applying the lighter, for fear of burning the mix, and so the first hit was light. I listened to the clock ticking seconds while I held the hit, counting to twenty. I released slowly, and felt a buzz, but little more. Then a voice said,

"Time for the REAL hit now!"

And indeed, I found myself applying the flame with less caution, the chamber filled more milky, I'm taking it all in and...ZOOOOOOOOOM! the universe is vibrating, so intensely, the room explodes in neon chrome, the buzz is getting louder and louder. I realized that I've never known what it was to breakthrough, not really, not till I saw/felt the tension in the fabric of space-time around me get so intense that I saw the possibility of it ACTUALLY SHATTERING around me. I knew that for all the reading I've done around here, I had no idea what awaited me behind the veil if it did shatter, I wasn't ready, and I quailed before it.

Fortunately, the changa just kinda laughed at this. It boomed,

"THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED, THIS IS WHAT I AM!"

I knew in that moment it could crush me like a bug if wanted to, the infamous hyper-bitch slap people speak of. However, it took pity on this tiny human, and brought me back from the edge. Rather than a full-on breakthrough, the changa let me experience the breadth and depth possible on a sub-breakthrough experience, and my breath was taken away by the visuals that assaulted me. The SPEED of it all...I looked over at one of my cats, who was sitting in a chair next to me, grooming himself as if this was all fairly boring to him, and noticed time slow to a crawl as he licked his leg. Frozen in the infinite time it took that one lick, I watched him sparkle (an amazing effect, since he is black), then blossom in a swirl of colors and what seemed like crystalline textures.

I got up to get a glass of water, watching the neo-room around me transform and swirl around. Then, the vibration of the world got less noticeable, and quite all at once I slipped back into more usual reality. Within minutes, all that remained of the experience was an afterglow and a sense of renewed energy, both persisting even as I write this.

Overall, this was a very potent and positive journey, by far my most powerful meeting with DMT yet. I have even more respect now for changa and DMT itself, and have been given what I think is a valuable opportunity to reevaluate my readiness for the true breakthrough. I'm definitely still interested, but seeing as this was just a knock at the door of hyperspace, I'm definitely OK admitting that I've got a ways to go before I try to push this further.

Thanks again to everyone on this site, in particular Cyb for his well-written and thought out tek. This journey grows ever more perplexing and wondrous!

Namaste